poopso facto

no u move it. u r the one that cut that big uknowwhat that made her leave in a hurry and if she never had to leave so fast she would not have left us in this predicament we are in. poopso facto, u touch it and u move it.

well, fine. if u are not gonna touch it, and i am not going to touch it, i guess that is it. i guess we are stuck here all day til mom comes home.

i sure hope tomorrow's as nice as it seems like it is outside today, dontchoo, duk duk?

halo :)

I love filters and photo editing software as much as tiny chumley loves chunky chicken water, but it's especially gratifying when a picture turns out all on its own, with happy rays of sunlight and a glorious halo highlighting what it seems we all could use a little more of nowadays - a calming peace, a comforting warmth, and of course, a generous dollop of cuteness.

Speaking of cuteness, here in behind the scenes world, tiny chumley and I have been furiously hand finishing what feels like a million tiny pieces of top secret coolness this week and the good news is that the hardest part is probably over. I say probably because as with all our fanciful little weenie makeys there are always aspects of haven't done it before so who knows how long it will take, but, with any luck, we will finish up and announce a doot date soon so stay tuned! And be on the lookout for some very special new cards, some of which were very obviously designed by a certain little mischievous wolf and his best falcon friend. So much fun, so little time! Have a super weekend, friends! :)

my smelly valentine :)

boy, duk duk, i sure am glad we looked thru the bag of valentine candies mom got us to pass out at school tomorrow.

i mean, there were only like..three, four, five - six. six acceptable messages in the entire bag! can u imagine the mess we would have gotten ourselves into? not to mention all the cooties we might have been exposed to.

hee hee, well, i guess u know what they say...

a wolf and falcon's work is never done :)

minimum cage

...poopabunga, THAT'S what cottonmouth is supposed to look like?? i mean, on tv i thought his nickname compared with his appearance was a already little preposterous and here, well here he just looks like he ate a bunch of cottton candy in a hurry and forgot to wipe his mouth. he doesn't have ferocious real fangs or a slithery body or really anything that merits the impressive name of our third most favorite snake in the world.... yeah duk duk, if this does not get better by the next page then we really need to..

hold the poop...what's this? "famous name prizes or cash the easy way. attention junior entrepreneurs of america. earn famous name prizes or cash simply by selling olympic brand greeting cards. fill out the slip, enclose two dollars and blah blah blah blah." omg, duk duk, look at all this stuff. i spy a tent, a dune buggy, scuba flippers, why there is even a race track set! look at all those awesome and supercool famous name prizes..just for selling greeting cards...just like..u and me..do. heeeeyyyyy...

um, mother, i think it is time we had a talk.... :)

hurry hurry hidey hidey :)

hee hee hee, okay, duk duk, now u draw the stink li- oh no, she's coming! hurry hurry hidey hidey!

sorry, mom, no peeking at the artwork until our masterpiece is complete :)

little contractors

see mom? even with all of us inside we still totally have room for the mini fridge and the tv nobuddy uses in the guest bedrooom. and, if u approve our west wing addition plans, we can start work today to have a separate power line installed because i am pretty sure the stadium lighting will really stress the capacity of the circuit we currently share with george and your iron  :)

goodbye 2016

mom, do u ever feel like u sort should have a lot to say but then u realize it will only bum u out so all u can really say is...
goodbye 2016. u were really weird.

twas the day before christmas :)

whoa, chocobot, i think u r right. no wonder all the little puppies were so pokey.  i'd go slow too cuz i mean really, u know what they say. smelly is as smelly does. and puppies - no offense lil pink puppy - but at that age, puppies really do not know their snakeys from their swirlies..
























and look at that ferocious crow, he's all like, "haw haw, what a bunch of maroons. now u have nothing to put on your stoop!"..wait, what's that, lulu the tiger?  yeah i smell it, too.  let me ask her.

mom, how much longer do we have to read quietly and when it is finished cooling, may we each please have a slice of buttered cherry almond angel bread? :)

 

today i am ten :)

 Every day is a birthday as far as tiny chumley is concerned, but somedays are definitely more birthday than others :)
 
"ooooOOOOOooOOooOOOOoOOoooo!" the little wolf  squeed when his mother finally brought out his birthday meat cake,  his nose having told his tummy ages ago that something special was most definitely in his future.  "one..two..eleventy..ten.  i count ten carrot candles! and u know what that means everybuddy - today, i am ten!"

final draft review

 ...hee hee, well of course nobuddy really likes him, duk duk. but he's the guy with all the presents so what can u do, really?

 yeah, i am glad that mom does not make us go see him in person either. my friend hankie says with every passing year he gets scarier and scarier,  and if hankie thinks he is scary, u know what i would think. and i am pretty sure santa would not take very kindly to an impromptu meeting with agent brown, if u know what i mean. 

yeah, it is so much better just to write him a letter, even if we do have to write it all by hand still. 

 









































oh yes, where were we?  oh yes, final draft review. let's go back to the first page.. "dear santa....howya doin...technically good all year...blah blah blah...duk duk's fault...my fault..."  turning to next page...

















 





"...mutually resolved to each party's satisfaction...laser guided mega monster trebuchet...block of cheese...robot walrus submarine...cannot take delivery until the 3rd for obvious reasons ....regards to the missus...enjoy the carrots and cookies..hope u did not step on the u know what by the stoop.  yours truly, baxter & duk duk".

well, i think that's pretty good, dontchoo duk duk? i mean, concise and to the point with just enough pleasant chit chat to hopefully smooth over some of our more notable infractions this year. which we clearly did not hide or cover up and in fact i think we explained ourselves pretty well. but, i guess don draper is right about changing the conversation.  i mean like, we never ask for cheese and santa i am sure will be like, cheese? what's a wolf and falcon going to do with cheese? i guess i will just have to find out! and then he will give us everything on our list because our list is so short, like seriously, he should be embarrassed to give us anything less than all of it really. then come christmas morning, bwoop! megamonstertrebuchet-robotwalrussubmarine!
  

 

hee hee hee, i love christmas so much, dontchoo duk duk? :)

 

words with friends :)

hee hee oh yeah duk duk, that makes three jillion eleventy threeve for the both of us! okay, fork over another p and two o's..or maybe a p and an e. orrrr maybe a..oh i see it, an s and an a and a k and an e. or two f's and an o and and i and an e.  but really let's go with the p and the two o's for the win.

wait, what? nothing? u have got 2 be kidding me. how are we supposed to spell anything??

mooom, i hope u saved the receipt because think this new game u gave us is totally defective. :) 

 

happy thanksgiving 2 u :)

um, mom, are we finished taking pictures yet because because we have been waiting like all month for this :) #thankfulforthanksgiving

the shipping spot

hee hee, i still love our stamp even after all these years. i could stamp all day, cantchoo, duk duk?

o wait i think i hear mom calling us. yes, mother?

um, well we are almost ready to start packing orders but while u r asking, me and duk duk are pretty sure we need another eleventy hundred boxes to stamp :)

kalyx craft opia :)

hee hee, yeah, duk duk, my head is still spinning too. and we have not even eaten today's candy serving yet.  i am not really certain mom understands the likelihood of our being able to satisfactorily complete our soap packaging task given our post-halloween candy consumption schedule for the next few weeks. i mean, we used math and everything to figure out precise and increasing dosages of candy to get us buzzier and buzzier until finally, hopefully by thanksgiving, we can stuff our tummies til they burst and glide straight into a post-feastocalyptic coma. state of which hopefully will make most of december bearable until, yay christmas! 

anyhow, i guess we should get on with things.  this first impression we made with our new custom wax stamp turned out pretty nice, didn't it?but maybe we should move it over here and....oh, yeah, i see your point.  how did i not even think of that first? okay, let me ask her...

mom, did u happen to buy any brown wax by any chance? :)

saving halloween (part 3: a new beginning)

 






no, it's okay,  mom, really.  halloween is pretty much like the only day we want 2 ride the bus instead of pedaling 2 school.  well today and tomorrow on the bus because The Great Candy Exchange is tomorrow and that is practically the only day we can get rid of any smarties we collect, outside of us smashing them into candy dust. which i admit is pretty fun, but at least on TGCE Tuesday, we can turn our smarties into gummy gold. so, thank u for the offer, but we will stick with going 2 school on the bus.

okay, we will c u later....

 

























hee hee hee, yeppies i know, right? like nobuddy's gonna ever gonna guess it is me because really, a wolf in a wolf costume? who would expect that??

well, technically that's true, duk duk, i'm a wolf in a wolf slash bunny costume, but seriously, everybuddy at school will be so busy saying like, my what big teeth u have, and oooo what smelly breath u have,  that i hardly think anybuddy will notice anything past the ferocious head gear mom helped us frankenzombiewolf from the zombie wolf we got at the thifty store...

hee hee hee, yessiree, my friends, today we are going 2 have a fantastic day at school. :)

 

saving Halloween (part 1)

boy, it sure seemed like a good idea at the time to agree with mom about letting her off the hook for making us our costumes because her freezy shoulder really put a wrench in our makey schedule for this year, but here we are 5 days before halloween and we've got zilcho for costumes and no plan at all on how we will  replenish our winter candy reserves...

...now i finally understand why bears and dick proenneke work so hard every summer getting ready for winter.  mom even bought some random chocolate candy to hand out this year that I cannot even eat because I am a wolf and u know what they say about wolves and chocolate. yep that's right, a whole lotta nopies. 

what's that, chocobot? oh, that's right, u n lil pink puppy weren't here were u? mom will not let us use her credit card anymore on account of the all the u know whats we ordered. how were we supposed to know we were not allowed raise an army of sea monkeys in mom n dad's bathtub? they never use it anyway and really, we only forgot to feed them one day. but ANYWAY...i wonder...i wonder...

o i know! our poop mushie fund! it will not be enough to buy us all costumes but between what stuff we have here and what we might find at the thrifty store, we might be able to save Halloween after all!  okay, just let me get my sad eyes on and then I will ask her..okay...

momma, will u pleas take us to the thrifty store after school today? :)

misDirection

oh, well nothing really, mom. i mean, well other than trying to grow a pair of antlers. is that what u were asking about? because i sure do not smell anything out of the ordinary. nopies, nosirree :)

exstinked

whoa duk duk, u were right. the air has been clearing for hours now and i am still dizzy! maybe next time we should really listen to mom and not play guess whose foofie inside anymore.  at least when we both have been preparing for days. that touch of stinky fermented tofu was pure genius by the way. i bet it tasted horrible but the effect was so worth it! i wonder how we will ever top..ooo hang on..

mom, may me and duk duk please borrow your credit card and order some surströmming, i mean, may we please order something important from amazon? we promise we will pay u back :) 

agent brown part 2

...and that's my robot chip! i have had it forever now, but it is nice to see it finally in person. the robot chip is pretty much the reason why i am transforming into a wolf but the process still takes a lot of time because the chip works with my body at a subcellular level.

anyhow, u guys wanna see the best part of the bioscan that the   
 multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction took of me before i destroyed it?  here, lemme swipe it to the updated graphic i made to take to school today for show n tell.














okay, so, as u might imagine, this scan was being performed just moments before i released the agent brown, and what the robot saw, and what the special doctor mister tushie man ended up seeing, and what i already could feel was..well, i think u can see why the robot singled me out from all those big dopey dogs. cuz, well aside from being perfectly ok and ready for anesthesia should i ever need it for the MRI when the special doctor mister tushie man really thinks i should get it which is not right now...well let's just say we finally have proof positive of what u know i know we all know we know and what we all can now see here...

that's right, there it is my friends, my no-longer-secret agent brown reserve, aka the mega poopie snake. master of olfactory disaster. u can run and u can hide, but u cannot escape, when i let it slide...

hee hee hee! anyhow, the special doctor mister tushie man pretty much admired how big my agent brown reserve was, and dad was like, "yeah he wouldn't poopies before we brought him" and i was like, "yeah dad, u know why now and u can thank me later with a trip to the chikky fila. saved the universe, yo" and then for some reason dad said i was not allowed to watch breaking bad anymore.  but anyway, so, yeah.  now we just wait and see and hope my neck doesn't flare up or at least if it does then we know we will go ahead with my MRI and then really see if i might need surgery or something. and in the meanwhile i will keep seeing doctor miss erin for my laser therapy and if i can ever calm my inner wolf we will also get me some more massages. oooh - i think i hear the bus coming! time to go!! :) :)

agent brown

and so i was like, "heck no, mom, it's a trap. i'll stay right here with u and dad, thank u very much."

what's that, lulu the tiger? it's okay, yeah, u guys can come closer and look.  and smell if u want. it does not really hurt anymore. lessee, where was i?

 








...oh,  so even though i turned my electromagnets on, the special doctor tushie man still managed to take me to the back, right? and that's where i see it. but nobuddy else does and i'm like, "uh, hello, anybuddy else see the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction? anybuddy??" nopies.  crickets. and a bunch of big noisy dopey dogs being dopey and a cat. well i think it was a cat. i never saw it, only smelled it.  but i am pretty sure it was a cat cuz it smelled like cheezy fish breath and raspberry lip gloss from all the kissy kissies they get on their head.



















anyhow, so i'm thinking, great, surrounded by dopey big dogs who are too dopey to do anything, and me without our emergency backpack. u know the one, that we packed with our mini travel trebuchet and my long bow and at least three different types of light sabers plus enough ammo and arrows and dragon glass to fight off at least two hoards of zombies and seven battalions of white walkers and orcs.  and probably one multimaster robomegamonster of doom and destruction probably, but i will never know because mom would not let me bring it. "too heavy for my back," she said...

..which makes me wonder... maybe next time, well if there is a next time i go to the special doctor mister tushie man because he did say i seem to be doing well enough that we could delay my MRI at least until we see what happens next time i have an incident...so, maybe next time i have to see him, which hopefully is maybe like, never from now, well hopefully maybe mom will let me bring my weapons backpack if we tie it to the hood of the pedal car and then we tie the pedal car to mom's car so we can tow it... 


























what's that chocobot?  oh yes, right. so, at that point i'm like, "sheesh, swell mom.  dragged back here and left on my own, staring into the face of the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction.  swell.  thanks for making me leave all my weapons at home, mom and dad. thanks a lot. "

and then, before i could even think another word, the multimaster robot megamonster of doom and destruction shot at me with his inviso ray eyes, then it poked me with a needle. not once but twice and it even drew blood! by that point i only had my wolfy instincts to rely on, but the robot was so close and angled in such a way that i knew my ferocious fangs were not really going to be very effective.  so i did it.   i was really hoping to save it too because i could feel it was going to be a doozy, but i had to do it. there was nothing else left i could do.  i released the agent brown...if u know what i mean. 

yeah, lil pink puppy.  the robot pretty much dissolved immediately really.  then the techs came back and found me they were like, "yo dude what's that smell and what happened 2 you, ferocious wolf? " and i just said, "u would not believe me if i tried, my friend." so they wrapped me up and took me back out to mom and dad  and we went home and here i am. 

well, hee hee, okay, they also gave me the picture the robot took of me before agent brown came to town, if u know what i mean. i cannot wait to show u guys. let me get it and i will tell u what else the special doctor mister tushie man told me... (to be continued :) )