s is for stowaway

hee hee, hurry, duk duk, mom will be here any minute so get your smelly butt in there and make it snap- what? we talked about this already. besides the fact that it is physically impossible and pretty much restinkulous to switch places...

i wasn’t the one who ate half our gummy worm savings when both of us agreed months ago that we needed the extra gummies so we could finally afford premium priority linebuster tickets for the both of us. we have been looking forward to this forever.

and now we barely have enough gummies for one basic admission to the world’s most incredible stink and smell show which is also why we have to make it snappy because we will be standing in line for hours just to get a whiff of the corpse flower. hee hee, hey that tickles! wait, did u just foof-

oo, (kaaaack) hurry i hear mom coming!

oh hello, mom, thank u for agreeing to drop me off at the stink show. it is a pity duk duk cannot come but i know some quiet time alone in the heat cave is just what he needs to feel right as a robin :)

today i am twelve :)

sigh, i know!  it feels like we have totally been waiting for forever plus infinity already.  u would think by now that mom would know not to keep such ferocious beasts waiting. i mean, it is not every day a wolf turns twelve. and after all, if she does not feed us soon, why, she should know by now that it is much easier to feed the wild things than let them fend for themselves. i mean, there will be blood and guts ev-- o wait i think i hear her coming!!

hee hee hee...oooOOOOooOOOooOOooooOOOoooo! something tells me being twelve is going to be my best ferocious year ever! :)

happy cootieween

hmm. oo yeah, it looks really good, but i think it goes on the other side.

yeppies, like that! boy, considering we to make our halloween costumes ourselves this year and considering we only had an like an hour to make them all, i think we did pretty good this year, dontchoo, duk duk? i mean, i know we spent most of the time on my costume but u have to admit, it is pretty genius really. like, it is pretty much the scariest thing ever, really, right?

okay, now help me with my chin strap...eeeks! not too tight, a wolf’s gotta eat some gummy worms on the road, u know. okay yeah, that’s better.

yeah, i know they are kind of puffy even for her. maybe we can make flaps for when we do our calendar pictures. but for tonight these will totally work bc the puffy balls just add to the goofy, right? and really, i am already feeling like its eleventy hundred degrees out. but when all the folks get a load of me they’ll be like, omg just take all of my candy already! it will be totally worth it!

okay everybuddy, before we get this show on the road, just remember, it is still me under here. now lemme get into character....(hwuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!)

PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT PANT!! PANT PANT PANT PANT!! :)

hee hee, (PANT PANT) happy (PANT PANT PANT) halloween my (PANT PANT) friends!! :)

powdered sugar yeah

hee hee hee - today must be our lucky day because looky, duk duk, mom forgot to put away this year’s halloween handout candy! and u know what they say - finders poo-

-pers. aw come on, not smarties again!! we may as well be handing out, like, air, or boiled potatoes, or, i dunno....what’s the word for whatever that something is that makes you think, ooo looky! but then for no good reason at all, it totally underwhelms? what’s that, duk duk? yeah, like my school perform- hey, that’s not fair. at least i am not a product of deceptive advertising. this wolf does not promise to deliver anything to anyone other than the wolfiness in which i excel. candies, by definition, should be a delicious sweet treat, flavored with possible fruity or chocolatey overtones. these so called “candies” do not deliver on any of these critical traits.

hee hee, yeah, i agree, duk duk. ashes to ashes, dust 2 dust. and a lot of fun in the process. lemme ask her..

hey mom, um, for no particular reason, may we please borrow your hammer and googles?

eau de taun taun

(sniff sniff)...(sniff sniff sniff sniff).......(sniff)...(sniff sniff)...

hee hee hee. yeppies, duk duk, pretty sure things definitely smell worse here on the inside. :)

the dachshund and the poodle

“ein dackel und ein pudel scharren beide im müll herum. da findet der dackel ein kästchen, und der pudel findet ein schlüsselchen...”

“der dackel sagt zum pudel: ‘laß sehen, ob dein schlüstelchen zu meinem kästchen paßt!’ “

hey quit shoving, duk duk. it’s not my fault this story is about a dachshund and a poodle. i’m just reading it like they wrote it. now stop interrupting. our end of summer school prep already taking forever without u making it last infinity forever. okay, now where were we?

“da gibt der pudel dem dackel das schlüsselchen, und der dackel steckt das schlüsselchen ins kästchen. das schlüsselchen paß und das kästchen geht auf. ratet, was ist darin?”

hee hee, o a mystery!! yeah duk duk, i think so, too. i mean seriously, they do not find kackiewurst in there, then what’s the point of even finishing this book? i mean, other than the fact that we have to. plus i mean look, two wolves, a squirrel, the only thing that’s gonna keep the peace is finding something in common that they can bond over. okay, let’s see what the answer is...

“ ein bißchen luft und ein bißchen duft das war natürlich gleich verpufft.”

what?? seriously?? that has nothing to do with the squirrel in the picture and why does squirrel even have the key and the box now? sheesh! okay, okay, i will ask her...

mom, i know we have to start reading again so we can be ready for school but do u have any books that are maybe ferociouser?

when unicorn appreciation day falls on a sunday u pretty much party all weekend long :) (part 2)

 










...that nobuddy can pee-ny!!

 

happy unicorn appreciation day, chocobot!!

hee hee hee,  now let's open all these glitter bottles and get this smorgasbord party started!!

when unicorn appreciation day falls on a sunday u pretty much party all weekend long :) (part1)

hee hee, okay everybuddy, ready for the last song? key of pee...

for he's a jolly good smell-ow,

...for he's a jolly good smell-ow...

...for he's a jolly good smell-LLLL-ooooooooooooooow....

(to be continued sunday :) )

wile e. wolfie

unable to speak out loud lest he scare away the prize he and his vest toyfried spied beneath them, the little dachshund gleefully thought to himself, hee hee hee, only three more days of putting out carrots, then we suspend our anvil and klonk! bunny pancakes for breakfast :)

happy 4th of july

well, i guess maybe that would work, dad...

...but me and duk duk were thinking instead of sparklers, we would put chocobot’s uknowwhat in our trebuchet and poof! shiny sparkle everywhere!! :)

can can :)

..i can too. can. can. can. can. can. can 2. can..can can can can can. oh wait, maybe you’re..wrong! nopies i totally can. can too. can with a capital can. let’s see, what day is today again? o that’s right, it’s not friday, it’s can-toosday! hmm, is it time for lunchy lunch yet cuz i sure go for a giant can-toona sandwich right about now. can. totally can. can times infinity. can times a million infinity!

duk duk, how is it possible that we are even having this conversation right now when u know i am right?
fine. but i am going to need mom to help so let me ask her.

mom, can u please hold a match up to my butt so i can prove to duk duk that i can breathe fire?

a feast for wolves

as he spied the little puffs of smoke and fire poofing out of the magnificent beast before him, the ferocious little wolf could not believe his luck. the battle would be fierce, he knew. and it would take forever, as dragon skin was practically impenetrable. but little wolf was confident that the day would be his, and that all the scars and wounds would be worth it, for he would finally know the taste of pink dragon meat. :)

yesterday

(pfWEEEEoooOooooOoooOooot!)
stop?? but dad, me and duk duk have been eating monkey chow for forever now and if there is any day to be doing it, it’s today. i mean, (pftoooeeeeEeeEeeeek) they don’t call it fa- wait, what? oh. (pfeewwweet-eeet-ooop)

well, i guess (pfweeep) me and duk duk would like 2 wish u both a happy father’s day and a happy farter’s day, dad. :)

jamón and please sandwich

hee hee, omg, duk duk. he’s so cute. i mean, he’s just so plump and chompy..

...and his curly swirly tail is so dreamy!

hee hee, what’s that, duk duk? yeppies, i will ask her..

mom, i know we asked u to make him and i know it was a lot of work and all...

but maybe could u please make little miss julia another soft leather birthday piggy and we can just keep this one because jamón says he does not want to live in a house full of cassie cooties. :)

by the dawn’s early light :)

hee hee, i know it is early but u know what they say, duk duk, the early wolf and falcon catch the bunny :)

capital offense :)

hee hee hee, new snackies!! b, b, b...

mine mine mi- hey!

no snitching, turkey breath! it’s not my fault some dukkie played hooky while me and mom filled orders yesterday. i earned these birthday cake snackies fair and square. besides...

with the b and all, they practically have my name on each and every one of them. so no sharesies and definitely no snitching.

wait, what? nopies. nope, no way nosiree. nope. how can u even say that? look. they are too. fine, we will ask mom.

mom, are these snackies shaped like a capital b or two capital ds??

r u ready for the summer :)

The beginning of summer is always so full of promise and anticipation. There are books to be read, beaches to be visited, gardens to tend, and of course much fun to be had, even if summer mostly means sitting at a desk every day. I like to think that baxter and duk duk takes all these things into consideration when they dream up the little goodies for our shop, which is why their tiny summer cyber doot fair is so rich this time not only with the return of recent resin favorites, but also new goodies to delight the senses and help make summer as special as they think it should be.

Going to a summer wedding? Why, you’ll need cootie protection of course.

Looking to tidy all your keys to the house and rocket ship? We’ve got u covered!

Stuck inside the office all day? Do not worry, we can bring the sunshine and smelly flowers inside to you!

Got a lot of boring reading to do? We can keep your place and make it funner!

Need a little help enhancing your ferociousness temporarily while u work on your summer tan ? Hee hee, looky!!

Needless to say, we’ve got a lot of work to get everything into the shop for sunday night, and it might just be a little more than even I anticipated if a little wolf and falcon have their way...

mom, do u think i can borrow dad’s electric razor? just to, u know, shave a small, o, u know, 2 inch area on my hiney quarter ? for um, well, no particular reason really...:)