...eighteen, nineteen, twenty. okay. lessee, so if that’s twenty..multiply by four...take the integral...partial derivative...eleventy ten take the two carry the nine...
mom, to satisfy a wolf’s ferocious daily calorie requirements, i am pretty sure i am going to need at least infinity cubed more pieces of kibble. :)
a whole week’s worth?? dad, i’m pretty sure mom meant that to be a single wolf sized serving of chunky chicken. :)
hee hee hee, they’re coming! okay cassie, remember - if anybuddy asks, your name is george and u r not playing because u r a magic dragon who temporarily lost his powers and got stuck in a dopey big dog suit. and then u excuse yourself and say u have 2 stand over there so u do not accidentally set anyone on fire. o,and, most importantly, what do u need 3 remember? do not talk about uknowwhat club.
and the happy little wolf chomped and chomped, until finally, his tummy was a big and round as the delicious watermelon he had just eaten. :)
mom, to earn some xtra gummy worms, do u think maybe mister w would let me guard this place on the weekends?
because i am pretty sure i could do a pretty ferocious job :)
hmmm, note 2 self, proceed with xtreme caution...cassie? (sniff)...
(sniff sniff sniff)
hmmm, well whodathunkit...
mom, i think the smell from the guess whose foofie game me and duk duk were playing upstairs wafted down and knocked cassie out cold. :)
um, mom, when i said i needed a new thinking cap for school this year, i am pretty sure that does not mean a thinking tiara.
mom, i just wanted to let u know that after last week’s epic cootietastrophe, me and duk duk have decided that my cassie based guest hosting fees will be increasing eleventy-finity fold, not only to cover the rising costs of level 18 decontamination and reconstruction efforts, but also to compensate for the humiliation, suffering, and general malaise experienced during and after said hosting encounters. full payment due in advance, payable either in gummy worms, pb snackies, paypal, refillable debit card, or any combination therein. effective immediately. :)
“...no stranger to ferociousness, the ruffled grouse, whose scientific name is bonasa umbellus, may be a dumb bell away up north, where they say that, when flushed, he flutters to a nearby limb and sits there, rubbernecking like a rube on a broadway bus.” hmmmm... “ blah blah, blah blah blah blah...”
“...blah blah long pants, which as the neighbors say, smells just like blah blah blah.” hee hee hee. “but the blah blah may be even lying right next to u, blah blah blahing up the whole room. and yet some say the grouse still has to blah blah to the blah blah panty pants because his mom is making him do it, solely on the unreasonable account of some blah blah falcon blabbing about the ruffled grouse not starting his summer blah blah reading yet...”
“...but hopefully the blah blah panty pants is way too dopey 2 even notice that the most of what the ruffled grouse is reading is - “
this...cannot...be...happening...
aw come on! mooom, she’s doing it again!
sheesh, cassie...mom, can u please tell cassie that no touchie my ruggie pretty much means NO TOUCHIE MY RUGGIE?
eeeew. cassie, u r doing it again.
i told u, WFSHA cootie transmission prevention regulations clearly state that in situations where a physical barrier cannot be erected, two parties shall maintain a minimum separation distance of no less than 378.093 milimeters. min-i-mum. every time u pant i feel your expanding chest and stinky cootietaminated breath violating my personal space. keep this up and next thing u know, i will be sick for we-...hmmmm....for weeks...
kaaack! kaaack!!!
um, mom, when did u say the first day of school is again?
hmmmm....
hmmmm...
hmmmm...
hmmmmm.....
um, mom. u r not planning 2 have us be twinsies in my school picture this year, are u? :)
mom, thank u for doing my nails and all, but next time, can we just skip the pawdicure and go straight to the part where i get a delicious snackie? :)
“ein dackel und ein pudel scharren beide im müll herum. da findet der dackel ein kästchen, und der pudel findet ein schlüsselchen...”
“der dackel sagt zum pudel: ‘laß sehen, ob dein schlüstelchen zu meinem kästchen paßt!’ “
hey quit shoving, duk duk. it’s not my fault this story is about a dachshund and a poodle. i’m just reading it like they wrote it. now stop interrupting. our end of summer school prep already taking forever without u making it last infinity forever. okay, now where were we?
“da gibt der pudel dem dackel das schlüsselchen, und der dackel steckt das schlüsselchen ins kästchen. das schlüsselchen paß und das kästchen geht auf. ratet, was ist darin?”
hee hee, o a mystery!! yeah duk duk, i think so, too. i mean seriously, they do not find kackiewurst in there, then what’s the point of even finishing this book? i mean, other than the fact that we have to. plus i mean look, two wolves, a squirrel, the only thing that’s gonna keep the peace is finding something in common that they can bond over. okay, let’s see what the answer is...
“ ein bißchen luft und ein bißchen duft das war natürlich gleich verpufft.”
what?? seriously?? that has nothing to do with the squirrel in the picture and why does squirrel even have the key and the box now? sheesh! okay, okay, i will ask her...
mom, i know we have to start reading again so we can be ready for school but do u have any books that are maybe ferociouser?
hee hee, i guess we can do the full body wrap, but when u get 2 my head, be sure to use extra conditioner on my ear flappies because my mom likes them puppy smooth. hee hee, and i do, too. o, and remember, little miss julia, what happens at the ferocious wolf salon stays at the feeocious wolf salon. :)
hee hee, thank u for working wolf patrol with me today, little miss julia. with duk duk visiting his cousins before school starts, hardly anybuddy else can really appreciate the intense preparation, vigilance, and patience required to protect our lands.
yessir, keeping post is a sacred duty and honor, upheld by years of tradition and fealty. us wolves and falcons, and honorary wolves, do more than just protect our lands, really. we let mom know when packages arrive, we scare off bunnies and other ferocious predators, why, we even keep traffic flowing smoothly and efficiently by discouraging loitering by pedestrians and vehicles both large and small. we cover it all really, using sophisticated visual and tactical and even aural techniques to ensure a successful outcome. and it pays pretty well, too, like a snackie an hour if u play your cards ri— ooo ooo! pew eeew no sniff back ten o’clock, agent brown landmine activation times two - unsuspecting pedestrian duo with stroller. double points award category eleven o niner, poop smear and skid marks!
hee hee hee, yessssss! i cannot wait to tell duk duk when he gets home. :)
um, mom, what do u mean school starts in two weeks? me and duk duk have not even finished making our summer fun list yet, much less order all the parts for our hovercraft.
um, mom, sorry 2 bother u, but based on my calculations and the current air flow speeds in this part of the house, u have exactly three point one four one eight seconds after this conversation to put your gas mask on. for, um, no particular reason really. but, i would totally put it on if i were u. :)
