find me again, my little friend

This past year has been a bit of a roller coaster in tiny chumley’s real and aging life, the looming clouds of darkness gathering, despite all our efforts to keep them away.  Our posts became less frequent to protect this precious cyber world of eternal optimism, friendship, and love, to give tiny chumley space, and to let the hash waves of reality wash over us privately. Each time life caused us to stumble, we picked our little pack back up, and rebuilt our happy boat as best we could, until we could no longer.  I wish I had better news to share today, dear friends. I wish I could maintain the sanctity of this wonderful, happy go lucky space if even for a second longer. I wish, well I know, that there will be better, but different, days ahead for this world. But here we are now, in this moment, utterly heartbroken, and completely shipwrecked.  Rest in peace, my beautiful little boy.  Take time to say smello to joey and maggie, lily and marshall, lorenza, penny, lulu, cricket and pepper, kirby, guinness, rudy, elliott and emma, ralphie, and all our little friends we’ve lost over the years.  But please, please come back to me. Find me again, my little friend. 

today i am seventeen

hee hee ooooOOOOooooOooo! hey hey, mom, hurry up and put it down here where a wolf can see already!

oooo, made with teeny weenies and thrifted vintagey goodness.

finest quality, superior workmanship…

truly pooptacular! and it is just how a ferocious wolf envisioned it!

um, so i know duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy are not back yet from princess prettypink’s holiday partyrama but u think maybe i can try my birthday crown now? uknow, just 2 make sure it is ferocious enough? 

hee hee, wait’ll everyone gets a load of me!

  

hee hee, ooo, i thought a wolf was feeling  ferocious before, but this birthday crown is 

totally taking it to the next level! i cannot wait til duk duk gets - 

 

uh oh, a wolf is feeling tingly tangly woofy - 

RRRRRRRAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRR! 

um, mom, can u maybe make my crown maybe seventeen percent less ferocious? just enough so a wolf can still enjoy his meat cake 
without, u know, eating his toyfriends. :)

today i am sixteen :)

hee hee o m g! 

my birthday crown is even better than i imagined! it is so incredibly ferocious! i am sure mom will not mind if a wolf tries it on before everybuddy gets here. 



hee hee, hey look at me i’m king of the wol - wait nope nopies nope abort abort!  



mom, i regret to inform you that physics of ferociousness are such that it will be impossible for me to wear this lovely crown u made without putting the universe at great risk. the combination of two extreme powers of ferociousness that u see before you are not simply additive, they are logarithmically exponential.  i wore the crown for like two seconds and already i could feel the fabric of the universe tearing.  maybe if we hurry, we could go with a plan b for my birthday picture , u know, with me just being here next to it. although, a wolf cannot guarantee anything because he has already been standing next to it for all this time. 

well, i might be able to channel some of the ferociousness to my funny bone but even then i am just not sure we can get the results we r … rawwr … the results we r .. hee hee phoowee… rawwr… the results we r looking… 

..for.   um, maybe we should just skip to the part where we bring out my meat cake?  i will wait here. gee, i wonder what is taking duk duk and  chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy so long. they should be here by now.



hee hee ooOOOOooooOOOoooo!  now that’s what i’m talking about. . 



sixteen carrot candles on a meat cake bigger than my head! and all my favorite fruits! wait’ll duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy see  - 




hey hey! where did everybuddy come from so fast?? 




hee hee, just remember, no touchies just lookies… boy, if only dad was as fast as u guys are when the cake comes out. o wait i think i finally hear him! 




hee hee , happy birthday 2 me! :) 

happy stinksgiving:)

hee hee, now that we have the hang of this thing, duk duk, we can make gazillions and paste them everywhere!! u know, it really is too bad thanksgiving is just one day. i mean, there aren’t any presents or anything like that, but nobody is watching u all year long, either. u can just be u, no strings attached. and there’s the eating, and more eating, and more eating, and if u r lucky, there is more eating after that. i can see why everybuddy is thankful on thanksgiving. 

 me? hmmm. well, i am grateful today, obviously. and for u and your smelly butt, mom, dad who both have smelly butts but apparently it is not appropriate to tell them that so u just kind of have to enjoy it peecretly, chocobot even tho he has been a chocobutt lately, lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy and, well, all our friends in cyberspace, of course, and…. o i am grateful that on days like 2 day cassie keeps her smelly butt at home. and for finding this thing, and for having the password to mom’s amazon so we can order more refills and - 

o snap i hear mom coming! 

quick help me hidey hide all these  - whoops, too late. 

what? um, we were doing nothing really. is this the, um, thingy u want us to use to print all stickers for the name cards?  :) 

options :)

well, seeing as how me and duk duk  are over half way thru our summer vacation and have not done anything super duper exciting yet, we thought maybe we can use your credit card to buy inter dimensional travel tickets so we can visit chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy. or, well, what with the virus variants, maybe we could just buy an autogyro and fly there ourselves. or maybe we could just buy eleventy hundred pounds of gummy worms and zoomie call with them. but it all starts with your credit card so maybe i can help u find it? :)

today i am 14 :)

dear diary,

today i am fourteen years old, and i must tell u, i have never felt or looked as rawwier as i do now. my only hope is that later today at my birthday party, i get tons of presents and a delicious meat cake to match my ferociousness. anyhoo, what with today being my special day, mom said me and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy can do whatever we want and we chose to play guess whose foofie all day long. so i really must go because my bowels about to explode. in a good, i have been preparing or this all week long sort of way.  

tooldley-doo!

b. 

happy eatsgiving :)

..and i am grateful for duk duk, chocobot, lulu the tiger, lil pink puppy... and all my friends in cyber world... and..the little misses..gummy worms...and...blah blah blah blah blah...peace on earth...u know, all that junk and stuff. 

okay, now may i please have some turkey before duk duk comes back from his swimmy swim? 

what the wise man says

hee hee - eeew! no, too girly!  next!!

hmmmm, okay. this seems pretty sturdy...

...and it feels reasonably tractiony under foot. 

plus it’s got practically my exact ferocious wolf coloring..

but...

 mom,  r u sure we cannot retile the heat cave first? i mean, technically speaking, what with me and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy, that’s like five people using and smelling up the space, and u and dad are the only ones who use the master bathroom really. that’s dos against cinco. and u know what the wise man says, the needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few.   :) 

all aboard

um, r u sure u have 2 use it for that, mom, bc, well, i was stinking i mean thinking come winter time that it would make a very nice sled for me and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy. :)

glitterati

but mom, we cannot share any pictures because me and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy agreed that this year, what happens on unicorn appreciation day, u know, stays on unicorn appreciation day. especially because of all the uknowwhatting with uknowwho at the uknowwhere. but if u would like us 2 post pictures of our sparkly poopie snakes, well, we have like eleventy zillion of those. do u want me to get my iphoney so we can start uploading?

we just like 2 party like 2 party party yeah :)

okay, mom, i will be there in just a second!! 

hee hee hee, okay, lessee, one super duper mega gigantic air conditioned funzy puncture proof bouncy house in serpent green - check! delivery in one hour - check! mom’s credit card number - check! hee hee okey dokey -

send! 

now lessee, where can we get eleventy hundred pounds of rainbow sprinkles?  hmmm, hmmmm ... 

uh oh! what? o nothing mom. what’s under my chest? o, well, i was just coming to tell u i found your iphoney! u know, like right here on the floor. what a crazy coinkydink right? i mean, what are the chances? especially with my iphoney having been taken away for reasons totally within me and duk duk’s control, and me finding yours right here. it’s a summer miracle real-

-ly. eeeeek! no, mom, don’t take - no, i’m not done yet! 

um, mom, before u ground me, may i please re-borrow your phone to leave instructions on where they should set up the bouncy house? everything needs to be set up by two so me and duk duk and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy can start stinking it up in time for chocobot’s unicorn appreciation day party  :) 

baxter & duk duk's special friday matinee feature: weenie reindeer games :)

dear diary,
next week is thanksgiving week and as might imagine we will be very busy being thankful and eating and entertaining family and stuff so please do not worry if we are not posting regularly or responding very quickly. also, i am stilll washing cooties off myself from cassie's relatively brief but incredibly stinky visit, so there is that. but anyhow, even though we might still be posting a little next week, me and duk duk thought it might be nice to leave u with an officially awesome video we just made which we are sure u will want to watch with the sound on over and over again during next week's comedy drought. plus it has a very special announcement at the end. 

oh and if u were wondering, we hope to have a few goodies for cyber brown wednesday but we may not have a lot of time to preannounce what it will be so stay tuned because there will probably be ninjadoots! okay, me and duk duk need to pick up lil pink puppy and lulu the tiger from chukky poops so i will write u later and i hope u have a very good weekend. :)

toodleydoo!
b.

t minus one

hee hee hee, okay, mom, chocobot said ezpz no problem. so now all we need is for u to finish the uknowwhat today that u have been working on forever while me and duk duk and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy finish prepping the other uknowwhat to receive it. so considering we are prerty much on schedule, ima gonna go ahead and keep our overall status at brown. if u do not have anymore questions, this concludes our top secret status meeting for project Süßigkeiten-Schlepper :)

appyhpoopay nicornupoopay preciationappoopay aydpoopay :)

hee hee, yeppies, duk duk, i will miss them all too. but at least they are all going to very good homes and this way we can really focus on what's really important today and celebrate in style.

oh u r right. mom will be here any minute. i think we better call in the big guns if we are ever gonna get finished tearing down our booth so we can get to the store and spend all the money we earned on u know what for u know who today.  

hee hee, yeah i know he still has not figured it out. if it's not about princesses or rainbows or medieval cartography or interdimensional time travel, unicorns can be so clueless.  okay okay hang on he's finally here...

smello chocobot! i hope princess prettypink is recovering from her umpteenth bout with cooties. okay hey, lil pink puppy and lulu the tiger, clear the blast zone!


(bwoooop pinggg!)


oh yes, nice job chocobot. one of these days u r gonna need 2 remind me why that does not work in our heat cave or on any of the areas specified on our chores list. 

o i think i hear mom coming.  now remember, lil pink puppy, ixnpoopay outabpoopay ethpoopay
artyppoopay orfpoopay ocobotchpoopay ndapoopay eepkpoopay imhpoopay usybpoopay tilunpoopay ewpoopay etgpoopay ackbpoopay romfpoopay ichaelsmpoopay ithwpoopay apoopay arcpoopay ullfpoopay fopoopay itterglpoopay.

hee hee, okay mom,  me and duk duk are ready for u to take us to the nowhere special store now.  chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy are going to stay here and help wrap orders. :)

watermelon break :)

dear diary,
finally school is out for summer and to celebrate and take a break from finishing up our leather clippies, i had watermelon. and it was delicious.

tomorrow me and duk duk hope to drop off lil pink puppy and lulu the tiger and chocobot at summer camp and then we will be back to start project uknowwhat. more on that later  :)

toodley-doo!
b. 

happy stinko de mayo :)

okay, mom, all our chores are finished and duk duk and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy are alldrying off from their baths as we speak. and chocobot even pooped in the backyard so there is no glitter to clean off the sofa or in the bed. now may we please start preparing for our tgidisco stinko de mayo party? :) :)

twas the day before christmas :)

whoa, chocobot, i think u r right. no wonder all the little puppies were so pokey.  i'd go slow too cuz i mean really, u know what they say. smelly is as smelly does. and puppies - no offense lil pink puppy - but at that age, puppies really do not know their snakeys from their swirlies..
























and look at that ferocious crow, he's all like, "haw haw, what a bunch of maroons. now u have nothing to put on your stoop!"..wait, what's that, lulu the tiger?  yeah i smell it, too.  let me ask her.

mom, how much longer do we have to read quietly and when it is finished cooling, may we each please have a slice of buttered cherry almond angel bread? :)