super cute

There are some things about a dachshund that go unnoticed because they are so low to the ground and always on the move, things that can't be fully appreciated until a well timed photograph reveals their super cuteness.  Like tiny chumley's pointy little chest whorl, and the shadow lined heart shape that secretly reveals to the world just how big his little heart is. :)

welcome back my elephant friend

hee hee see mom u did not believe me but I toldjoo they would!

welcome back my beautiful elephant friend. I hope u had a wonderful winter :)

just another nut box sunday :)

A certain little kielbasa kept us company outside all afternoon yesterday, watching as the little misses and I swirled bleach gel on fabric while his dad mowed the lawn, all from the comfort and cuteness of his little nut box bed. And that is all we have to say about that :)

stink marks the spot :)

hee hee, no need to be shy, frankie junior my puppy friend who lives in the next neighborhood. go ahead and let the force guide your nose to its destiny!

ooh your nose is cold, Frankie j! Houston, nasal docking procedure with lunar foofie module b.a.x. is a success.  repeat, nasal docking procedure with lunar foofie module b.a.x is a success. commencing second phase lunar module de-pressurization in three, two, one...(pfweeeeeoooeeeoooo!)

hee hee yeah u like it Frankie? the secret ingredient is canned stinky salmon. u should ask for it the next time your mom takes u to the pet store. not only does it make your poop stink, but if u r lucky u might also get the butt scooties. and, if for some reason u cannot find the salmon stuff, try eating some cat poop if u can find it. you will not get quite the same dry down as with the salmon stuff and the base notes are a little earthier, but the taste and texture pair well with both regular low fat kibble and gummy worms, so you can eat it either as a main course, a side, or even dessert.  what's that Frankie? yeah sure I can wait a sec.  I got a million of these so be sure to get your biggest one!

Frankie's gotta go back inside his house and get his pencil and notebook so he can write all ths down.  oh, if he's going back inside, that reminds me -

hey Frankie j! bring a couple of your toys and I will show you how to start your own secret club!! :)

i went to the swirly queen :)

hee hee make mine a banilla wafer sundae with strawberries and gummy worms on top please! :)

the hungry games: pooping fire follow up

Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter here to report that the correct answer to yesterday's hungry games was b, salmon!  If you guessed right, congratulations! And if u did not, do not worry. My tummy and I say it really could have gone either way.

In fact - if I could just take a moment to clean up these dishes....

(clink clink clanky clank!)


...in fact, methinks my tummy and I still have more to say -

More please! :)

Hee hee, this is Baxter your roving rover reporter hoping you have a wonderful weenie pup filled weekend! :)

the hungry games: pooping fire

Hello everybuddy, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter! This year I did not go to the doxie weenie roast like I was thinking I might, so I thought I would do the next best thing to kick off summer - hold my own very special mini hungry games! Today's challenge is a toughie, pitting (a) two delicious and rare mouthwatering pieces of chicken jerky and rawhide twirly sticks that I like, never get except when they are used as candles on my birthday cake, against (b) a snifferiffic spoon of salmony canned goodness, which I also have not had in a while on account of how mom thinks it makes me butt scooty! Yep, I know, a super duper toughie because tummy totally wants to eat both.  But the question every hungry games must answer is, which one will I try to eat first?

 

Now, a lot of data has been recorded regarding my performance at the hungry games, so I thought before I give u the answer, I would let you comment your guess as to which option, A or B, I will go for first.  And then I will tell you the results tomorrow.  So, this is me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, signing off and wishing you the best of luck at guessing! :)

four paws and a rump ham

Something tells me the buldge of tiny chumley's plumpty dumpty rump ham is the reason why his little hiney leg sticks up off the floor like it does when he stretches out for a snooze in the sun.  But whatever the reason, I'm just glad it does. :)

wire haired :)

now remember, mom, we have to do this fast because i am drying off very quickly and everything will not stay unless my fur is wet first. so ready? okay.

hee hee hee, harder, mom, harder!

 oy, (ptoo) fur everywhere.

okay now let go, and take the picture so i can show the kids at school.

hee hee, watch out world, there's a new wirehaired wolf in town! 

 

iambic pooptameter :)

i do not play with girls -

but girls do play with me -

and so i stand here in the grass -

 

hoping that this too shall pass!

#namethatpoet :)

happy Mother's Day :)

and now mom, me and dad will take u to the candy store and then later, we will go for a walkie, and after that u can even give me a bath and do my nails free of charge, no snackies or anything! :)

creature of habit

mom, what do u mean i cannot go with u and dad to little miss julia's first communion today?? i got dressed and everything!!

hiders keepers

 

hee hee, nope, mom, nothing to see here, nothing at all. really.

(blink....blink)

 so, um...is there anything i can do for you..in just..a second or two? :) 

dapper doxie duds: project h r d puffnstuff

hee hee duk duk,  u r way too close. although save the picture so we can post a chestie later to our instygram.

  


 
okay okay. i know u only have one wing, but try and hold the iphoney like this and then u will see that it will autofocus just fine. 

oops, hee hee sorry duk duk, i did not mean to bump u in the  - ow, quit it! hey look we promised we would finish today's blog posty about the second super cool dud mom made for me and u know how important it is for us to talk about it on account of it being our secret silent toyfriend club dud and a crucial if not somewhat misleading recruitment tool to gain more members in time for project hr depuffnstuff to succeed.   i mean, just look at the thoughtfully placed contrast double stitch lines, the double welted d ring hole,  and this super cute and slightly edgy image of the super cool stuffed bunny drawing from dad's old tee. they are sure to  turn heads and when people ask we can - ow! duk duk if u do that again i am going 2 pound --













oh hi mom. say what - the bus is coming? um, well, do u think we can work on our blog posty more after school? me and duk duk seem to be having some slight artistic differences. :) :)

 

come get some ham :)

Yippee! Finally a dud made especially for tiny chumley. With all the other things that have taken hold of my interests lately (and my sewing machine's most recent attempt to die an ungracious and costly death), I am relieved to know that even though I am still not ready to take new orders for duds, my sewing skills haven't deteriorated to the point of no return.  And I am glad to see that my new old twinnie Pfaff sewing machine sews just as wonderfully as its recuperating cousin at the repair shop. 

Tiny chumley's new dud was sparked by a thrift store score,  a simple little happy colored stripe tee in huggably soft 100% cotton that seemed to suit Baxter's happy go lucky, adventuresome ways.  It would make the perfect little summer dud, I figured, bound in deep dark espresso brown and contoured to accentuate his mighty little ham-like muscular shoulders. 

Embellishment as it often is was a little foggy when I first started work on his dud.  A simple summer tee is exactly that, right?  But I poked around my stash and found three little turquoise buttons that worked well with the dud colors and caught the light in ways that seemed to amplify and refract cuteness exponentially, and I mustered up the patience to pattern match the fabric for the secret snackie pocket that all good pupscouts require. Many stitches and one impatient doxie later, voila! Super cute dapper doxie dud a la Baxter. :)

hee hee thanks mom for finally making me a new dud that i just might wear to the weenie roast fesival and tomorrow i will take over and tell u about the second one we made. but in the meanwhile, just between you and me my friends, i wanted to show u what i already put in my snackie pocket. and - i hope u r sitting down already -  because it is not even a snackie...

...it's me and duk duk's super secret poopie snake admiral's club membership badge, entitling badge carrying members first sniff privileges wherever and whenever poopie snake piles are found, and opening the doors to many many of the world's top poopie snake collections held by both private collectors and public museums alike.  :)  ps - please do not tell anybuddy what is in my snackie pocket, okay? we had to save like eleventy thousand gigajillion gummy worm upc codes to get it and everything. :)

 

today we are prepared :)

hee hee okay mom, everything is all set so if u need me just whistle and when I see the kitty again and need u, I will bark and then we can go chase it. :) 

public service announcement: stinko de mayo

Why hello my friends, it's me, Baxter your roving rover reporter!  Today is the day we all celebrate the most glorious of stinky holidays, stinko de mayo!  And while it is a day of much fun and foofiefoolery, my toyfriends and I want to take a moment to remind everyone to please be considerate and stink responsibly.  Otherwise, you might get in trouble with your mom and not be able to celebrate it at all in the way that u would like to. And be stuck with a lot of leaky cans of foofie that u cannot even take to school on account of having already been warned by your teacher to clean up your lockers because of the stink from the secret tadpole tank u are keeping at school for the little misses because their mom did not want them to keep any more tadpoles than they already have at home. So, there you have it my friends.  Unleash the stink, but please,  this Stinko de Mayo, remember to stink responsibly.

My name is Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you the super stinkiest of stinko de mayos :)

little entrepeneurs

tiny chumley and I were late to join the yard sale festivities in our neighborhood yesterday, but not so late that he couldn't help the little misses sell a few more cookies and lemonade.




lemonade! lemonade!
get your ice cold lemonade and hot fresh cookies, only a quarter each or two for eleventy nine gummy worms! tasty and delicious! lemonade! lemona- hey, is that cassie's nylabone over there???

canning 101

..four, five! good job everybuddy, we finally collected enough cans!

 













now all we need 2 do is figure out how to get a good seal before mom misses her funnel, and then we can start stocking up our foofie for monday's stinko de mayo party!! :)

baxter & duk duk's manners matter for little puppies: corn on the cob

Excerpted from Baxter & Duk Duk's Manners Matter for  Little Puppies, page 229:

"little puppies may not know that plain corn on the cob is a special treat that should be treated specially. if you are lucky enough to be given corn on the cob, congratulations!  to prepare for this special event, always remember to wear a napkin around your neck and carefully tuck it into your collar.  the napkin is not only cute, but couthy, as it will help absorb any juices that may fall while you are eating your delicious corn on the cob.  do not forget to insert your special corn cob holders as this will make your cob look really cool when you are finished . try not to get all grabby but it is understandable and even supercool smart older dogs do it so do not feel bad.


corn on the cob may be eaten in many ways, but the best and fastest way will require your mom or dad to hold the cob, so it does not fall off the table and get the floor all corny. to eat corn on the cob, nibbling with your front teeth is highly recommended, but if you still have baby teeth, or if your baby teeth are loose, eat it however u r able and let the napkin catch anything u drop so that you can eat the corn droppings later.


also, try to eat every kernel and leave a nice neat cob as seen in the figure below.

after finishing your work on the cob, do not forget to eat anything that might have fallen, focusing first on the table surface and then on to your napkin, working your way down methodically to floor where you will probably find many corn droppings to eat as your dessert. speaking of droppings, pay special attention to your poopie after you have finished your corn as you will be in for another special treat that the authors will not spoil for you here. happy corn eating, little puppy friend!"