my new friend hank :)

dear diary,
today i finally got to meet lulu's mom's new puppy and my new doxie puppy friend, hank! hank is now twelve weeks old and weighs five pounds and needless to say he is a real squeebert and neither of us could stay still long enough for pictures, so i decided to show you some videos from our first brunchmas playdate, which i figured u might want to see again and again and again so i posted them as viney videos.  all in all we had a lot of fun and the little misses came over and held him and everything! next time we visit together i think i will ask mom if she will make me a shark proof body suit because, well, let's just say that puppy teeth? well they are a whole lot sharper than u would think they are. especially when they are latched on to u like a crab on a finger, or in my case, a puppy on your neck meat.

anyhoo shark suit or not, i sure hope me and hank can get together and play again soon.  i have not yet seen his poopie snakes although mom says they are little peanuts, which would be a nice addition to our collection. 

happy labor day monday and toodleydoo!
b. :)

brunchmas morning :)

good morning morning world! just a few more minutes in bed please and then I will get up and start making brunchy brunch. :)

little buddies

 

hee hee, oooo - didjoo smell that, duk duk? i think that was cassie's - no wait, the wind is coming from the north...top notes of  (sniff sniff) turkey and rice...eleven..no, make that seventeen weeks old at least...delightfully rancid (sniff sniff)  in a blue cheesy way.. and, i detect a slight trace of slobber.  aged stinky basset neighbor poop. definitely stinky basset neighbor poop. :)  

floats like a meatloaf

Taking tiny chumley for a swim is something I would like to do with him before he gets too old and bony and easily chilled for that sort of thing.  I'd love to see him paddle around like a sentient meatloaf, his body bobbing gently as his four little legs take turns paddling him around and around and around.  His head, I imagine, would be held just high enough out of water to act as his visual rudder, being the first to point in the direction he would like to go, and patiently putting up with the waves lapping at his face while it waits for the rest of his body to float in line.

Swimming was the furthest thing from my mind when the little kielbasa and I ventured out into our backyard yesterday afternoon.  Short changed of a full lunchy lunch training experience because I was consumed with makey, Baxter took full advantage of my guilt and merrily bolted off, sniffing out every nook and cranny of his yard before deciding to get down to the serious business of digging.  And digging he did, for minutes on end while I said hello and chatted with the little misses' mom by the fence.  By the time she and I were done, every inch of tiny chumley was happily covered in dirt.

I picked up Baxter and took him over to our latest lazy iteration on a paw washing station, our giant almost chumley sized salvaged-metal-fire-pit-bowl-turned-extremely-ginormous birdbath, left on the ground while it awaits a thrift store score base of some sort.  Recent rains had filled the bath to the brim, a fact that didn't go unnoticed by my little friend as I started to lower him into it.

I had expected a bit of random rebellious wiener wiggle, but surprisingly, as his body got closer and closer to the water, his little legs started to move in slow but regular fashion.

Right front paw out and under, left front paw out and under, right back paw out and under, left back paw out and under.  Right front paw out and under, left front paw out and -

Did he just...was he doing a pre-paddle?  I had seen a video of Baxter's friend Molly do it, but Baxter as far as I knew has never even been for a swim.

I pulled him back up and started lowering him again, even more slowly this time with chest and body supported and legs free. My eyes were fixed on him. Baxter's eyes were fixed on the water.

Right front paw out and under, left front paw out and under, right back paw out and under, left back paw out and under.

It would turn out that the water in the birdbath still wasn't deep enough for Baxter to even float, but I love how his little swimmy instincts seemingly kicked in. Tired from all the digging and paws freshly washed, we returned to our sunny spots in my studio, both of us dreaming of the swims yet to come. :)

 

back to school :)

hee hee, look everybuddy! there goes the school bus!!

i sure am glad we pooled the last of our summer gummy worms to buy a parking pass.  i usually do not look forward to the first day of school, but today is a whole different story now that we can pedal to school every day ourselves!

what's that, lulu the tiger? 

oh yeah, i guess it is time to get this show on the road. commencing pre-pedal checklist ops number 3758delta9ner for the inaugural mission of pedalcraft HMP JamiahBunnyCakesPootenpenny!

okay everbuddy just like we rehearsed...

  
 

 




duk duk, homemade locker stink pucks?

lil pink puppy, thermoses?

lulu the tiger, lunchy lunch boxes?

chocobot, pencils and notebook paper?



okay houston, i think we are a go...everyone hold tight and get ready to pedal off in 

three...two...one...blast o-

..um, houston, could somebuddy open the door please? :) :)

sushi me :)

I like chicken, I like rice,

I Iike carrots, thinly sliced.

Squeeze them smoosh them, stack them high,

You make sushi, I'll bring pie!!! :)

- Baxter, 7.7 years old, writing the poetic praises of his special snackie treat of the week :)

the elfies in the selfie

This week tiny chumley and I are busy little elves, working on teeny tiny doxie treasure boxes and making progress on top secret holiday makey projects that will hopefully make their debut in the coming months.  And finishing up a certain little someone's Halloween outfit, so there will be plenty of time for him and his little duk friend to enjoy it before the big day arrives. 

hey hey, less talky more makey, mom! the sooner we finish the boxes and the super secret stuff, the sooner we can finish my Halloween costume! :)

good morning Monday

hee hee, good morning, Monday! I see you are going to be a brand new shiny day!! :) 

the little entrepeneurs: b&d excavation and catering

hee hee, mom, in me and duk duk's poopslist ad, can you please make sure to mention that if anybuddy needs anything else dug, in addition to planting holes and bunny traps, we also dig in-ground duk swimmy pools, cable trenches, dragster runways, and natural walrus habitats? make that last part in bold caps - i think our specialty work will really help set us apart from the competition, dontchoo? oh, and make sure also, that u let them know our quality catering includes free poop mushies on parties of twenty or more when reservations are made three months in advance (except during drought or winter, in which case free poopsicles will be substituted).   :)  

manny joes

mom, i really like them, and, they are very comfortable, and, I am really looking forward to painting flaming bunnies on them before school starts, but...well, I have never really heard of manny joes before.  are u sure these are not girl shoes?? 

hold it

Some things are worth a break from the afternoon fun of playing guess whose foofie with their best toyfriend, even if it means possibly missing out on what was sure to be the gassiest foofie of them all.

oooOOOooo! no wait, hold it!! just hold it, duk duk! i will be right back in a jiffy..hee hee, delicious corn!! :) 

little wet wolf

It was pouring rain when we decided to see what Kep and Padua, Baxter's sausagey predecessors who were litter mates, would do if we cried squirrel and released them into the rain.  Padua, riled up and ready, bounded out the door without a thought, while Kep, always a bit more cunning of the two, immediately sensed the impending doom of wetness and stopped at the doorway, a perfect place from which he could watch his brother come back, skulky and wet, some fractional seconds later.

Even though tiny chumley jokes about not pooping in the rain, we have actually been very lucky with our little boy. Rain rarely deters Baxter from the necessities of life when it is required of him, whether he must go out with his dad and poop under cover of a gimungous golf umbrella, or lured by bunny scent that draws him voluntarily across the walkie line, he must stand out in the rain, a little wet wolf waiting patiently for his prey. :)

10-38

well, u see, mister officer, it was just easier this way because my dad and I are going to the chikky fil a, and I know the shortcut but he does not because me and my toyfriend duk duk pedal there after school a lot and when u have a pedal car u totally have to take advantage of the shortcuts otherwise u will get really tired and sweaty and then when u get there they will not let u go in the bouncy house. and so, anyway, the route is kind of visually unmarked so u have to follow the scent marks we left,  only they are not very strong because well, u know, summer vacation, and so u have to have a really good sniffer to sniff things out and so yeah, that is why we have our windows down and that is why I am steering. did u, maybe, well, would u like to come with us? if we are lucky maybe big Bessie will be there and then we can all get crayons and everything!! :) :)

walkie the line

This past weekend it rained, shortening our walkies from the thousands of steps we normally take, down to just four for a certain little sausagey boy, who just barely made it out of the garage before being stopped by mother nature's all natural, earth quenching dachshund barrier. 

mom, every puppy knows the walkie line is a line we cannot cross. can we please go back inside now? :)

objects in roundey hole are much smaller than they appear :)

hee hee hee, mom, i know u bought this especially for them from the thrift store, and, i know they will enjoy it and all, but, are u sure we want to give this to the little misses? because, I mean, well, just look at how BIG I am I this thing!! :) :)

shorty pickins :)

hee hee, no mom.. (slurp slurp) .. i think.. (slurpy slurp).. those tomatoes .. (slurp slurp) .. disappeared.. (slurp slurp slurpy slurp) .. all by.. (slurp slurp) .. themselves! :) :)

yesterday was unicorn appreciation day :)

dear diary, 

yesterday was unicorn appreciation day. and today we are pooped. :)

toodleydoo! 

b.

dapper doxie dud: get me to the church on time

 Hello friends it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter! I'm reporting to you today about my friend Ted.  That's him, the black and tan on the right, only he is two years older now.  There are only so many pictures of him because he is a ranch dog, and ranch dogs, well they do not have a lot of time for pictures do they, what with the deer and the antelope to play with and the horse poop to roll in and, well, you get the idea. 

Anyhow, even though Ted has a super cool job already, he is going to have an even super cooler one to do this weekend, because he is going to be the ring bearer at his mom and dad's wedding!  Yeah, I know, it stinks that he will probably have to take a bath for it, but at least he will be walking down the aisle in style thanks to this dud my mom made for him, made from a subtle sandy colored checkered suiting woolen complete with super special little silvery buttons, a removable bowtie made from a vintage necktie, and two double welted teeny tiny ring pockets! I like the ring pockets because there are snaps inside so u know, important things do not fall out, and well, because there are two of them. Because, in a pinch, if during rehearsal he realizes the actual wedding might go long, he could plan ahead and stuff both rings in one pocket, and put some delicious jerky treats in the other. 

Anyhoo, I sure hope Ted and his family have a super super day come Saturday! Me, well, I've got a unicorn to appreciate super soon and I hope u do too because, heads up, Unicorn Appreciation Day is tomorrow, Tuesday, July 29th!! (I hope that's right - I do not have my calendar in front of me).  This is Baxter your roving reporter, wishing you the happiest of Mondays!  :)

fit to be spied

It always seems to me that little dachshunds are often left out in the cold when it comes to nicely fitted attire.  Something is always too short, too long, too small, too wide, too narrow, or too big.  And sleeves and shoulder lines are practically always a problem, so misplaced and often so big that our stubby legged little friends inevitably - albeit adorably - ensausage themselves.

The little gray hairs sprouting like weeds on tiny chumley's face told me it was time to tackle this Moby Dick of sewing challenges, and so the little kielbasa and I have spent the last two weeks reading and futzing drawing and cutting and sewing and seam ripping and cutting and sewing and seam ripping and, well you get the idea.   It's been a lot of work that has caused me to face many a sewing demon, but it has also been very rewarding in terms of developing my spatial thinking.  And of course, it has also been very rewarding for a happy go lucky, bottomless tummied little boy, who also has some rather grandiose ideas as to what his halloween costume will be this year.

shhh shhhh shushy shuush! mom, please do not say anything more. u never know if the stinky neighbor bassets might be listening with their big ol ears, and that would just spoil everything me and duk duk have already been working on!!  remember, u make the - u make the thing we talked about, and we will take care of the rest. now, shall we start on the back - um, part b?  :)

lesson of the day :)

The naughty puppy ignored his mother's call and dallied outside,

 barking at noises and sniffing at bugs,

 until finally the naughty puppy decided himself

 that he was ready

 to go back inside. 

"oh snap," the puppy cried while he stood at the door,

spying into the house, a tiny red tomato too delicious for words.

It was a treat for the little puppy, if only he had not wanted to play some more.

"surely there is a lesson, a lesson to be learned, 
something i should remember, in my memory to be burned ."

The puppy stood staring, his mind all a whirl,
until finally it hit him, like three kinds of butters...









 

"next time, silly puppy, bring glass cutters!"