like the rest of me :)

mom, dontchoo think it is time to let my nails grow long and ferocious like the rest of me?  

b o r e d

mom, are we there yet? :)

car games, part 2 :)

garrrarrrrrrrggrhhhhharrrggghhh!

garrrrarrrgghharrrrrghhhh!

mom, r u even trying?? these snackies are not going to just jump into the ferocious chomping jaws of death by themselves, u know. 

little red riding wolf

hee hee, hey mom,  how’s about a snackie for the ferociosest thing u spy in our car? 

hee hee o it worked! what??!??!! mom!!

hey hey, over here please. mom, i was talking about me. em. eee.  yours pooply. not him. he’s, well he’s not even real, really. sheesh! okay, fine...

mom, that was not funny at all. now may this particular wolf please have a snackie? :)

ready set chomp :)

hee hee, i know i am already panty hot, mom, but dad took me inside too soon and am pretty sure if u take me out again, we can totally have bunny bordelaise for dinner tonight. :)

summer lessons for little puppies: chomp lick chomp repeat :)

and always wear a napkin :) 

finders snackers

hee hee i brought this for u, mom. u know, in exchange for a snackie? :) 

wabbit seasoning

hee hee hey, come back here, u wascally wabbit!  it’s chomping time! :)

big blue blankie bun

...omg duk duk, sheesh, how many times can i say nopies already? no. n. o. it’s not like we have been over this eleventy zillion times already. what are we, stuck in a jonas kahnwald time bubble? please, spare me the splintering into parallel worlds and agony of infinite déjà vu . n.o. nopies...besides, u know how i feel about it. it’s a visually platitudinous. i mean, visual poopitudinous. look, see how strongly i feel about it? u made me forget to use proper poop grammar.  duk duk, we have spent our entire lifetime being original. we are not hacks, duk duk... o come on, sheesh, what’s a wolf gotta do to get some sleep around here? 

okay okay, fine, duk duk..,

...u can be the mustard and i’ll be the hot dog in our big blue blankie bun. but come this halloween, i better not hear anything more about it. the last thing we need is to dress up like food for some big dopey dog to chomp on. 

vitamin f

um, well, for one, not as buggy or as humid as it is outside. and two, i can foofie and it lasts a whole lot longer. :)

faster than the speed of zoom

ever since he was little, the little dachshund knew he had special powers. with his eyes, he could spy the biggest bunny, and smallest, tiniest bug. with his teeth, he could expertly chomp corn on the cob, and watermelon, and not one but three different varieties of cherry tomatoes. with his ears, he could hear the exact moment when his mother finished her lunch, and know when it would time for his. and with his feet, he could run faster than the speed of zoom. 

hee hee, no need to call me, mom, i am here for my lunchy lunch!! :) 

and visitor makes four :)

um, well, naturally we are going to need four  servings of gummy worms  and snackies now, dontchoo think, mom? i mean, it would be rude not to offer our guest a double helping, wouldn’t it? 

haiku for an evening bunny chase :)

sleepy little wolf,

dreaming of chasing bunnies,

practice for later. :) 

mister tattletootersmellypoopenooter

hee hee, quiet, duk duk! it is just one leg. she probably will not even notice. what?? what do u mean? i cannot believe u would -  fine. how bout i just ask her, mister tattletootersmellypoopenooter.

mom, when u said we had to stay quietly in our bed this morning bc of the uknowwhat u found on the uknowwhere, does that include every single part of me? bc, well, a wolf’s gotta be ready for anything even when he is in time out, dontchoo think? 

a tomato in the tummy is worth more than two bunnies in the bush

the little dachshund planned his day like he always did in summer, giving himself plenty of time to nap and play, and making sure as he always did to beg and plead after dinner to go outside in the stifling heat, to sniff for bunnies and chase them out of his yard.

most days, his pleas would go unanswered. but today, he realized as his mother opened the back door, was his lucky day.

 “yessiree! it sure is hot out here but i’ll show everyone!  no more chomped on flowers,  no more half eaten hostas, no more bunnies in our yard!” proclaimed the little dachshund as he skipped on to the deck, waiting for his mother to open the gate. “i will chomp and i will chomp and i will-“  noticing the absence of his mother, the little dachshund turned around. “mom? arentchoo coming to open the gate so i can chomp chomp chomp the big bad bunnies in our yard?”

as he looked back at the door, the little dachshund spied something delicious that was not there before. “hmmmmmmm. u know, mom, i think u r right about it being too hot for a ferocious wolf to be chomping outside.  may i please come back inside now?” :)

stained

why smell, mom. what’s that? o nothing. just enjoying the sun, really. o, u r going to the grocery store? hmmmm. nopies, me and duk duk cannot think of anything we need at the moment. okay, mom.  c u later bye bye. o and do not forget 2 wear your mask! 

boy, that was close...what? well i had to make it believable. oo hang on, duk duk, i think it finally moved!.... wait...rats. nopies, just shadow shift i guess.........what was that, duk duk?  another pizza??

first off, mom said she was going to wally world, and we both know that their pizza is basically pizza shaped cardboard stuffed inside a bigger box of cardboard. 

and second, if we asked her to get us another one,  then u know i know that we both know that she would probably figure out what happened. except maybe for the part about how it got up there. although, she could probably figure out that part too. 

version 2.0

oo oo - they’re done?  i wanna see, i wanna see!

ooooOOOOooooOooo! 

see, mom, i know it was a lot more makey work, but seeing the two side by side? well, i toldjoo...

even handmade purpley blue flowers stink better in 3d. :) 

equals

the little dachshund stared quietly outside at the chameleon, happy 2 finally have spied someone as masterful at the art of camouflage as he was. :)  

u say nopies i say yeppies

eeeew, nopies too boring ! 

eww, double nopies, this one looks too much like cassie’s butt!  

mom, r u sure we cannot get kitchen tile with something more ferocious on it? u know, like with..say, o...flames, or sharks, or chomping turtles on it? :)

first harvest

ooooOooooOooooOooo! (sniff sniff) (sniff sniff)... (sniff sniff)...

hmmmm...okay, i don’t get it... 

mom, why are cats afraid of these things again?