socially distant :)

well, maybe instead, we can go for a walkie 

away from cassie’s house. u know, just to make double sure we do not catch any cooties. 

tiny bubbles

hee hee, okay okay, duk duk, keep your feathers on. we promised not to bother her and i am pretty sure she knows already, but i’ll tell her. 

um, mom, sorry to interrupt your bath and all, but me and duk duk wanted to make sure u knew that, well, in addition to our excellent ferocious protection duties, we just want to remind u..

that if u need it, we can totally help u make more bubbles for your bath  :)  

mayhem at the nopies corral

omg that was close. hurry, duk duk, get your smelly butt back inside !! 

u saw it -  no smellygagging! seriously we have to close the door and batten down the hatches before - 



eeeeeeeeeek! too late! 

um, sorry, new tiny cassieosmellynelly , as keepers of the ferociousness, me and duk duk regret to inform that this house enforces strict social distancing measures which requires u to stand way, way, way over there.  no ifs ands or butts. furthermore, if you would kindly remember to refrain from coming over here ever again, that would be really helpful bc me and duk duk are generally going to be really really busy having fun and we have no time for - o hang on, my mother is tellling me something ...

wait, what? mom!  what do u mean let her in!????!?!

when u r pretty sure your mom should get her hearing checked but in the meanwhile u help out any way u can :)

mom, um, anytime u r ready u can just put a snackie right here and i will eat it, okay? like, anywhere on this thing. really, i will. like, chomp gulp donezo. mom? mom? 

mom, i said..anytime u r ready just put a snackie here and i will eat it, okay? 

fresh air

pheeeeeewwwwweeee peeew! hee hee, now that’s a epic foofie if i do smell so myself!!

um, hey quick can somebuddy up front please press the ventilation recirc button? 

properly pounded :)

the little dachshund watched out the window and waited patiently for the last three steps of his plan to work. first, his best toyfriend, duk duk, would steal the map that the little dachshund knew he undoubtedly would find in the hiding spot that he had promised the little dachshund he would leave alone or risk penalty of pounding. second, gleefully anticipating the bounty of gummy worms he would find and not have to share, his best toyfriend would then use the map to go to the exact location where the little dachshund marked, never noticing the acme stamp located on the lower left hand corner of the map. then, once duk duk was properly situated, blammo, out of nowhere a giant piano would drop from above and his best toyfriend would be properly pounded. :) 

like the rest of me :)

mom, dontchoo think it is time to let my nails grow long and ferocious like the rest of me?  

b o r e d

mom, are we there yet? :)

car games, part 2 :)

garrrarrrrrrrggrhhhhharrrggghhh!

garrrrarrrgghharrrrrghhhh!

mom, r u even trying?? these snackies are not going to just jump into the ferocious chomping jaws of death by themselves, u know. 

little red riding wolf

hee hee, hey mom,  how’s about a snackie for the ferociosest thing u spy in our car? 

hee hee o it worked! what??!??!! mom!!

hey hey, over here please. mom, i was talking about me. em. eee.  yours pooply. not him. he’s, well he’s not even real, really. sheesh! okay, fine...

mom, that was not funny at all. now may this particular wolf please have a snackie? :)

ready set chomp :)

hee hee, i know i am already panty hot, mom, but dad took me inside too soon and am pretty sure if u take me out again, we can totally have bunny bordelaise for dinner tonight. :)

summer lessons for little puppies: chomp lick chomp repeat :)

and always wear a napkin :) 

finders snackers

hee hee i brought this for u, mom. u know, in exchange for a snackie? :) 

wabbit seasoning

hee hee hey, come back here, u wascally wabbit!  it’s chomping time! :)

big blue blankie bun

...omg duk duk, sheesh, how many times can i say nopies already? no. n. o. it’s not like we have been over this eleventy zillion times already. what are we, stuck in a jonas kahnwald time bubble? please, spare me the splintering into parallel worlds and agony of infinite déjà vu . n.o. nopies...besides, u know how i feel about it. it’s a visually platitudinous. i mean, visual poopitudinous. look, see how strongly i feel about it? u made me forget to use proper poop grammar.  duk duk, we have spent our entire lifetime being original. we are not hacks, duk duk... o come on, sheesh, what’s a wolf gotta do to get some sleep around here? 

okay okay, fine, duk duk..,

...u can be the mustard and i’ll be the hot dog in our big blue blankie bun. but come this halloween, i better not hear anything more about it. the last thing we need is to dress up like food for some big dopey dog to chomp on. 

vitamin f

um, well, for one, not as buggy or as humid as it is outside. and two, i can foofie and it lasts a whole lot longer. :)

faster than the speed of zoom

ever since he was little, the little dachshund knew he had special powers. with his eyes, he could spy the biggest bunny, and smallest, tiniest bug. with his teeth, he could expertly chomp corn on the cob, and watermelon, and not one but three different varieties of cherry tomatoes. with his ears, he could hear the exact moment when his mother finished her lunch, and know when it would time for his. and with his feet, he could run faster than the speed of zoom. 

hee hee, no need to call me, mom, i am here for my lunchy lunch!! :) 

and visitor makes four :)

um, well, naturally we are going to need four  servings of gummy worms  and snackies now, dontchoo think, mom? i mean, it would be rude not to offer our guest a double helping, wouldn’t it? 

haiku for an evening bunny chase :)

sleepy little wolf,

dreaming of chasing bunnies,

practice for later. :) 

mister tattletootersmellypoopenooter

hee hee, quiet, duk duk! it is just one leg. she probably will not even notice. what?? what do u mean? i cannot believe u would -  fine. how bout i just ask her, mister tattletootersmellypoopenooter.

mom, when u said we had to stay quietly in our bed this morning bc of the uknowwhat u found on the uknowwhere, does that include every single part of me? bc, well, a wolf’s gotta be ready for anything even when he is in time out, dontchoo think?