nakey lunch

tiny chumley had a dental cleaning and a few bumps removed yesterday, nothing worthy of labs but things that the tushie man felt could require attention in the future, when our little wolf would be older and less spry and less capable of handling surgical intervention. better to take these things off when he’s strong and healthy, and his blood work and stats are fine, the tushie man said. which made total sense to all of us, save the little four legged boy who probably would have been happier noping and napping his way through yesterday. 

sheesh next time, mom, well let’s just say there does not need to be a next time . although the staying home from school for the next two weeks and me being nakey nakey parts are fine. and the xtra snackies :) 

secretaries of the treasury

hee hee, no, u stink more, duk duk! no wait, i mean i stink more! u? no, i stink more!  hee hee, no, i stink more! 

okay, can we just agree to disagree because we really need to finish this before mom gets home and finds out we used her printer again without asking. i mean, seriously, how can she think that projects like this are a waste of toner? this is probably like, the most genius and mature thing we have ever come up with, really, what with this paper currency being the ultimate representation of a fungible, fiscally responsible financial system, backed by gummy worms. which are probably like, the most stable valuable commodity like, ever really. this money, our money, will be more valuable than gold. more valuable than kibble. more valuable than - dare i say it? even more valuable than poopie snakes. waste of toner indeed! why, when we are done printing our money, we can buy mom even more toner than she ever needed! that’s the power of gummy worms, yessiree. 

hee hee, what’s that, duk duk? o yeppies, let’s print a zillion more sheets before she gets home so we can be gazillionaires. :)  

u say candy i say banana :)

hmmmm….hmmmmm…hmmmm…

well, are u sure it was halloween candy wrappers?  because usually that sort of thing happens with a banana peel. which me and duk duk were definitely not eating yesterday night. :) 

reTreat Tuesday :)

hee hee, yeppies, definitely still as ferocious as sunday.  okay everybuddy now remember, the whole reason why we agreed not to eat our candy haul and get all dizzy like we usually do is so we can go back out today and offer to take everyone’s leftover halloween candy off their hands. timing is everything, really. because if u try late on sunday people will be like nopies go away we are going to eat all of it, but by monday they will be like, wow the room is starting to spin and by tuesday , well by today they will be like, i think i’m going to hurl, please, take all of it! which is why we all have to be in peak physical form because i think we will get at least eleventy hundred pounds on our street alone! hello? u guys know  i can’t turn my head down with this thing on - why isn’t anybuddy saying anything??

 

aw great.  some buddies just couldn’t refrain from helping themselves to some candy after all, could they? well, i can’t pedal by myself.  now how am i gonna get all the candy home? ? hmmmmm. o i know..

mom, can i borrow your phone so i can uber a dump truck? :) 

happy ferocious joyful :)

Sometimes the best a little wolf can do is quietly wait until it is time for him to once again become the beacon of all that is happy, ferocious, and joyful. :) 

plans within plans :)

um, well, u see, if u leave the tub filled after u r done, me and duk duk may or may not need to finish what we started. after u turned on the water and apparently walked away while it was filling. but before u got in. because, well, in retrospect i guess it is kind of funny really, us stinking i mean thinking that nobuddy was going to get in the tub and u know, that the water was just filling the tub for no reason really. except for me and duk duk to do what we may or may not have done. that we are hoping to finish. um, u r planning to shower after your bath, right, mom? 

sleepy tongues of the week :)

:) 

a gummy saved is a gummy eaten

mom, after i am done with pounding duk duk, can u please take us to the candy store so he can replace all the gummy worms we were saving to buy our new trebuchet? 

how to recover an office chair (v.2.0) by baxter and duk duk

dear diary,

through no fault of my own, my dad’s office chair went kablooey beyond repair, and, because the shopping gods offered a chair better suited for her, she gave my dad her old chair and we covered the one she found in girly stuff,  which is why our updated instructions on how to cover an office chair do not include images of a chair being covered in ferocious fabric with flames and falcons and wolves on it, and rather shows one being covered in sleek shiny smooth velvets, some of which we dyed long ago.   anyhow, we still thought it might be nice to post instructions to maybe help inspire others, keeping in mind that every chair is different and comes with its own challenges. but the gist is basically the same, especially the last step which is very, extremely, super very important. anyhoo, if u do end up recovering an office chair please do send me a picture or tag me, wontchoo?

i hope u have a wonderful weekend!

toodleydoo!

b. :) 

HOW TO RECOVER AN OFFICE CHAIR - instructions by baxter and duk duk :) 

1) FIND A CHAIR. goto the surplus or thrifty store and find an office chair, making sure the pneumatics and seat adjustments work. my mom found this one for dos dólares. 

2) REMOVE CUSHIONS. remove cushions from the seat. every chair is different so you have to put on your thinking cap. sometimes there will be screws to remove. sometimes, it just requires a long screw driver - this chair has a hard plastic back so all we had to do was carefully ease the cushions out from their fasteners. it did have screws on the underside of the seat but after we removed them we found out the screws only kept the plastic cover in place.  by the way the plastic fasteners were old and brittle so in the process of removing the cushion there was some breakage, but not enough to keep us from refastening the cushions later. had everything broken i guess we would have jiggered something up to reassemble everything, probably using screws and screwing them i to the cushions from the back of the chair. 

3) APPLY FABRIC. make a scrap fabric pattern of the seat and back cushion, noting the center points on the cushion backs and patterns so everything can be lined back up again. use the pattern to cut your seat fabric, then serge or zigzag stitch the edges. run fishing line through the serged / zigzagged edg all around the pattern. pull the seat fabric on to the cushions like a shower cap, making sure all the center points are pinned and aligned. adjust fabric as needed, smoothing excess out from the center of the cushion out and over the edges. inset pins to secure fabric. if you have removed the original fabric,  staple, or (if you kept the original fabric on the cushions you can either staple or ) hand sew fabric using a curved needle , using normal upholstery methods - for example, always start  at the center of a side and work out toward the corner, when finished one side, work the opposite side, starting at the center and making sure fabric remains taut. sew or staple corners last, making sure to smooth from the top side toward the back, to minimize pleat visibility. 

4) REATTACH cushions to seat base. make sure to follow the next step … 

5) put a ferocious wolf on it and enjoy. :) 

stomp down on it :)

hee hee, the rideys was fun, dad, but next time, maybe let me drive because this wolf could have totally gotten us home in like, eleventy seconds really .  :) 

two tiny tomatoes :)

hthust a hittle hlother, hmom! :) 

inconceivable:)

really??? so u r saying i should not pee on it? 

quiet time :)

hee hee, just sitting here quietly like u told me to, mom.  is there a problem? :) 

foofie distancing :)

seriously? but, mom, we are outside. if not here, then where really??

waste not, want :)

but, mom, i can think of at least eleventy zillion things we can do with these fabric scraps besides using them for the back of the baby quilt u r helping miss mb make. how bout we lose the pink stink ones and maybe make a secret snackie pocket for me, or a sleeping bag for duk duk, or, u know, maybe ferocious leg warmers or something? :)

purple flower stink :)

i’ll be right there, mom, i just want to poo- i mean, i just want to smell all this pretty lavender! :) 

older and wiser :)

well i’ll be, thought the little dachshund when he looked up. it had been many years since the little dachshund spied his friend, mister bee, and there he was, clinging to the window screen waiting for the sun to warm his wings. 

“why smello, mister bee!” chirped the little dachshund as he climbed on the windowsill to get closer to his buzzy friend. “you may not recognize me because i am a ferocious wolf now, but it is me, baxter! remember?  and, well, last time we met i licked your butt. but seeing as how i am more worldly and older and wiser now, i know that it is probably not a good idea to lick your butt , but i was wondering..

is it still okay if i just sniff it?”  :)

well reasoned :)

well, i was just stinking i mean thinking that we all just take the day off today and, u know, have fun doing nothing really. :)

tiny tomato stand :)

um, yeppies, smello. i would like 2 order one late summer cherry tomato meal for me and one for my dad please, miss walk up window lady. o but make mine a mega meal with xtra smelly sauce on the side please. no, none for my dad today. he is smelly enough. but i will take his smelly sauce if xtra smelly sauce costs xtra. or if not, then i would like three, no, four smelly sauces. o and no napkins, we plan in chomping them as soon as they are ready . 

 

hee hee hee, this is going 2 be so delicious! boy, what’s with the service here it is taking forever! o finally…



dad… dad hold on 2 it tight and make sure u do not drop it. there’s nothing worse than a dropped tomato. u never know who’s been walking on the ground around here nowadays. 

dad.. dad..i really think u r doing it wrong.. 
if i can just help u hang on a sec..

okay now just put it right in my mouth, dad. u can have the next one :) 

bring your own smell :)

well, mostly because baths are for babies and i am practically a full grown wolf now.  but, i guess if i really have to take a bath, may i please have an extra eleventy cap fulls of mister bubble? the unscented one. for obvious reasons. :)