eggcellent

hee hee, there is no way the easter bunny will recognize me this year. he will hardly know what's coming because when we go to the mall and it is finally our turn 2 take pictures with him,  i will be like. "hi howya doin mister easter bunny, do u like my new easter bonnet, nice bowtie there. and then, GROWF!" #bunnystew :)

always b prepared, especially for a monday :)

dear diary,
although there are many things I learned while I was in the pupscouts, one of the things that i try 2 practice every day is to always be prepared, especially for a monday. i hope u r prepared, too.

toodleydoo!
b :)

christmas morning :)

"He was here, he was here!" the little dachshund chirped to his toyfriends as he peered up at the packages that Santa knew to leave way up high and out of naughty's reach.

To be extra sure that these packages were for him and not for his mom and dad, the excited puppy got on his tippy tip toes and sniffed at them, growing more and more excited with every molecule of delicious scent he inhaled.  "I smell reindeer poop, and cookies, and salmon, and liver and sugar and stawberries and glitter and..oooh yes these packages are definitely for us! Come on everybuddy, let's get our of our jammies and ask if the little misses can come over to help us open them!"






There would be no time for the happy little dachshund and his toyfriends to pose for pictures once the little misses arrived.  No time for anybuddy to look up at the camera, or wait for it to come into focus.  Oh well, the little dachshund's mom thought.  Our Christmas morning pictures might be forever a blur, but the memories of this day for all of us will be crystal clear. :)

It seems practically all the pictures I took of tiny chumley from Christmas morning are an excited fuzzy blur. And that,  I suppose, is just the way things should be.  :)

the owling :)

hee hee, finally mom and henry gumption are done with the owl mask they are making for auntie robin! i am sure she will not mind if i borrow it for a little while.  christmas is like, forever from now.

now, if only i can figure out how to get this orange stool out of my...

(oof! shuffle shuffle)
































...way!  hee hee, wait'll duk duk comes home and gets a load of me.   

wooty hoo, wooty hoo! 

 yep, he's gonna be so scared, i bet he upchucks all his gummy worms and his monkey chow chili.  

yep, yessiree, and no complications with santa at all because this is payback for what he did to me last week. well, payback times ten because duk duk is to owls like i am to stinky big dogs.  scare-reee!

yep, yessiree, any minute now, when duk duk comes home from his fowl and feathers club..no wait, that was yesterday. when duk duk comes home from his little swimmers..no, wait..duk duk..o snap, he  went to the lake today to visit his grandma, didn't he? sheesh, he will be there all day!...







hee hee, only seven more hours til duk duk comes home and he gets the bejeebies scared out of him! wooty hoo! wooty hoo!! :) :)

today i am eight :)

"....and the Antler King celebrated his eighth birthday surrounded by friends, feasting on delicious cake and sweet juicy berries til their tummies were round and full and tight as a drum..." :)

some behind the scenes stuff and a doot doot dooty doot for know, a supercool print poster and my 2015 desk calendar

When a happy go lucky dachshund stands at the cusp of turning eight years old,  I like to think that his tastes begin to evolve. Boy adventurer detectives and blue boxed time travelers, though still very much close to his heart,  now give way to more complex characters who more often than not, ask questions and delve into topics that an eight year old imaginative dachshund has yet to fully comprehend. And so it seemed only natural that Baxter and his toyfriend duk duk, who by now would have exhausted all the G, PG, and PG13 offerings on Netflix,  would have refined their tastes and discover indie geek classics like the movie Donnie Darko.  And, even though some of the darker aspects of the movie would go over their heads, a movie as engaging and unsettling as Donnie Darko would still be something tiny chumley and duk duk would pick to serve as the awesome inspiration for this year's halloween trick-or-treatery.







I'd like to say it was purely Baxter and duk duk's inner geekiness that motivated their Halloween attire, but truth be told, the makey challenges also piqued my interests greatly.  I mean, it's not like there are many swell instructions out there for this for humans, much less for dachshunds, or for one winged duks.  The challenge would not only be in replicating the Frank the Bunny and Donnie Darko look, but also in adapting it for the actual head and body shapes and imaginative perspectives of an odd but perfectly matched pair of friends.

Today, finally, after months of off and on makey, a peek into the work that went into their costumes, and a link to Baxter's new super cool poster featuring it, that asks what we should all probably ask ourselves at one time or another, why are you wearing that silly human suit?

Happy Monday, friends! :)

PS if you missed the doot doot dooty doot yesterday, here is a link for our super cool and always budgety 2015 desk calendar too! https://www.etsy.com/listing/209493886/dachshund-desk-calendar-2015-tiny?

 

  

happy hallo-scary-ween :)

hee hee, thanks, chocobot, for taking care of yours and lulu the tiger's and lil pink puppy's halloween costumes. me and duk duk were so busy making ours, we did not have any time at all to work on stuff for the three of you. the toyfriend club scar on your cheek is a nice touch, by the way. 























and, it was pure genius to put lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy in one costume.  now we have room for even more candy in our wagon!

okay, duk duk since u are already dressed, u wait here with chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy while i get into my #topsecretSCARY costume, okay?

(zip snap shuffle shuffle zip snap swoosh zip)

you know, duk duk, i really like how everything turned out, but i sure wish mom would have let us make the teeth sharper and more scary spaced. i mean, how scary could that be, right? we have been scaring our friends all week with the pictures we posted on instagram and facebook and twitter.

(snap snap shimmy snap zip snap)

but, at least if nobuddy recognizes who we really are, then they can at least they think they know who we are, even though they would be really wrong.  

(bump clatter clatter)

whoops. uh oh, was that my mask?













..boy it better be okay. without my mask, i'm just a long dog in a nicely fitted, super plushie hoodied onesie with white fur on my...

 

...chest.

 whoa - did u guys just hear that?? i think i heard cassie.

no, false alarm. it was just the wind blowing a bunch of leaves.

okay, let me just get my mask on, and we finally can start trick or treating!! 

oh not again. yes mom?

 

pictures? again?? but mom, me and duk duk already posed for our halloween card, and our super cool wall poster, and even for next year's calendar. and we promised that we would try to put them in the shop for you by this Monday and send out a doot doot dooty doot and everything.  well for the poster and the calendars anyway because we sold out of the cards for now. so our friends can see us in our full glory there,  and besides they will see us live any minute now when we knock on their door for tricks and treats. 

so, like, do we have to?





















okay, make a hole everybuddy. we need to make this quick so everybuddy keep their eyes open, mouths closed, and save the funny faces for after we bring back our candy haul.

phew, the inside of this mask smells like desperation and rancid gummy worms! duk duk - did you do this?? 

hee hee, why thank you my friend. it most certainly will help me get into character.  which i am guessing hardly anybuddy will guess even with u standing next to me and u are like the main character. oh, okay mom's ready, so on the count of three everybuddy..one..two..three...

trick or treeeeat! :)

(hee hee, ps if  did not get one because we sold out, here is a peek at our halloween card.  and do not worry if u missed out, it will be back in the shop again :) )

etsy fresh: you are invited to our Top Secret Halloween Club :)

Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you today about a very important invitation me and duk duk would like to make to you, to join our Top Secret Halloween Club.  Do you remember seeing some top secret things about our Halloween costumes every once in a while say on our Instagram or our Facebook or on Twitter or maybe even here?  Were you like, hey, when are we ever going to see the results ? Well, ever since our mom finished our Halloween costumes a few days ago, we have been really wanting to show you as much as you have wanted to see them. We even dressed up in our costumes and made Halloween cards that turned out super cool. But then we were like, hey,  Halloween isn't til Halloween and top secret is top secret, right?   But, if some of our friends like you really want to see our costumes early,  or say you need a really super cool Halloween card that will totally be like nothing you have ever seen before,  well, how can it happen and not spoil the surprise for everybuddy else?

Well my friends, that's how me and duk duk decided to form the Top Secret Halloween Club.  If you and your friend can keep a secret and want to send or get our super cool - but kind of SCARY!! - Halloween card now,  you can do so by clicking here, to get the card from my mom's kalyxcraftopia etsy shop.  Oh yeah, did I mention it was kind of scary?    

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter hoping you will join us in super cool halloweeny weenie top secrecy! :)

PS - this is not the actual card although the actual card is sort of on there but like, so pixelated and covered up that u know, it may as well not be the card. :) #topsecretSCARY

https://www.etsy.com/listing/207763820/baxter-duk-duks-top-secret-halloween?ref=shop_home_active_1

PPS (10/22/2014) Wow me and duk duk sold out! Please be patient my friends as we will be ordering more the next time mom places a print order so stay tuned! :)

today is stomping day, another nother short story by baxter and duk duk, in lieu of the ninety page essay on the pros and cons of a spiced based universe economy, that we were supposed to write for writing class

The monster feet had been in stinky situations before.  Children may smell like children, but their feet stink too, and especially in slipper shoes like him because they never seemed to want to wear socks and their feet get all sweaty and the only thing left to absorb all the sweat is, well, him.  He used to think their feet smelled awful, only now as he sat on the thrift store shelf, surrounded by scuffed patent mary janes and tired old sneakers that no longer lit up when you stomped with them, he missed smelling like what he now felt monster feet should always smell like.

Forever seemed to pass at the thrift store as he watched moms and dads take pair after pair of more practical shoes home for their stinky feet children, while he remained, alone and wondering if he would ever get to stomp again.  Tired being passed over time and time again, the monster feet decided to go into a deep deep sleep.

A curious and very sniffy wet nose startled him awake.  What the heck??? This is not the thrift store, he realized as the rest of his senses came into consciousness.  Why is there a tiny red cabin in front of me and what's that smell? It smells worse than children feet - more like, meat mixed with duk mixed with poop mixed with - hey, that tickles!

The brushing sensation of curious but very appreciative whiskers gave way to two stubby and chubby but extremely awesomely ferocious paws, each slipping in to him with a stink, awe, and reverence he had never felt before. Hmm, the monster feet thought. I am not in a house with stinky children feet and yet I no longer miss them.












One of his feet was lifted high into the air as the faint sound of snickers danced about his ears.  Wheeeee!! Today is a new day, he proclaimed as he started to fall and the wind started whooshing around him.  Today is stomping day! :)

the third sense, another short story by baxter and duk duk, as told from the perspective of the tiny red cabin in the woods, still in lieu of our thirty page essay on the pros and cons of a spice based universe economy, that were were supposed to write for writing class , only now it is sixty pages because of the story we turned in yesterday

The tiny red cabin in the woods was relieved that its inhabitants had decided to go in to town for the evening.  Restless people are not very relaxing, and nothing irked the cabin more than having people inside it who did not appreciate the solitude that it offered. Now that they were gone, the little cabin could relax and go back to its happy go lucky, cabiny ways.

 And yet, a strange sense of foreboding still haunted the cabin.  It had survived many rough winters in the woods, put up with noisy little children and snoring adults and even survived a freak rainshower of poopie snakes mixed with monkey chow.  But something about this foreboding feeling was different. A warm wind blew in from behind, bringing with it a piquant stink of curious and exceptionally malodorous quality and consistency, accompanied by a low, almost imperceptible gurgling noise. 


Hmmmmmmmm, the tiny red cabin in the woods thought, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

O bother, the little cabin decided. I see no need to worry about things I can only smell and hear and cannot see.  I have stood here for many years now. And I will stand for many more. :)

the tiny red cabin in the woods, a short story by baxter and duk duk, in lieu of a thirty page essay on the pros and cons of a spice based universe economy, that we were supposed to write for writing class

The ferocious monster paused to watch from a distance as smoke billowed from the chimney that sat atop the tiny red cabin in the woods. There would be plenty of time to stomp the cabin to the ground, the monster thought to himself as he settled down onto the cool soft mossy ground.  He stretched out in the open and let out a big yawn, no longer worried about being seen by the cabin's inhabitants as he had only minutes ago watched them drive off to town, probably in search of more video games to play or movies to watch because really what else interesting can you do in a tiny red cabin in the woods while you are waiting for your dinner to cook over a fire you made with sticks you collected because there was nothing else to do, especially since there were no video games to play or movies to watch .

Normally the ferocious monster would have stomped on the cabin by now, but he knew that if he waited long enough, dinner would be ready, and rabbit stew tasted delicious regardless of how stomped it had gotten. He sniffed at the smoke as it wafted in his direction.  Eleventy, no, three o'ninesies more minutes to go.

Monsters usually stomp alone. It's more fun that way to have the whole cabin or town yourself to stomp because then you can look back and see all that you did yourself, he thought.  But as his tummy started to growl, the ferocious monster realized that this stomping would have been a lot more fun if his he had invited his friend, Dukalodon, to join him.  Not to eat him, but so he could play with him.  And then maybe eat him. Or at least try to. After he stomped the cabin and ate the rabbit stew.  :)

(hee hee, i hope u enjoyed our story and yep mom got me a super cool new monster hat from Michaels, modified by mom for ear holes :) )

hiney hole

well, okay mom, since we are still developing the pattern and this is only practice fabric, u can take a couple of pictures so we can study them for fit and make adjustments but remember, mum's the word because my Halloween costume is top secret and even though he thinks he knows what it is, not even duk duk knows what it really is. capoops? 

so, okay, I was thinking now that the front half looks pretty good, maybe we can focus on my back end because I think the hiney hole could be just a little bit bigger, dontchoo? but not so big that it would collect leaves and junk when we go trick or treating because that would be really scratchy. oh and not too small just in case I need to make a know whattie snake. :)

manny joes

mom, i really like them, and, they are very comfortable, and, I am really looking forward to painting flaming bunnies on them before school starts, but...well, I have never really heard of manny joes before.  are u sure these are not girl shoes?? 

pointy

o, nothing to see here really, mom. I was just wondering what it would be like to have pointy ears that stood up all the time :) 

creature of habit

mom, what do u mean i cannot go with u and dad to little miss julia's first communion today?? i got dressed and everything!!

canning 101

..four, five! good job everybuddy, we finally collected enough cans!

 













now all we need 2 do is figure out how to get a good seal before mom misses her funnel, and then we can start stocking up our foofie for monday's stinko de mayo party!! :)

yo soy el perro en el sombrero :)

um, well..because u said i could dress myself this year. and..because sombreros are super cool and...eastery? :) :)

hee hee, happy easter mis amigos!! :)

world war b: happy vadertine's day

hee hee, just a few more stink lines, and voila, that's the last one!

it is too bad school is cancelled for today on account of all the snow, isn't it duk duk? i mean, not only do we have our valentines all ready, but we came up with not one, but two very viable plans that i am certain would have guaranteed us protection from cooties.















i only hope darth got my message in time that school was closed today.  i heard salty slush really does a number on black capes and boots.

(hee hee, happy vadertine's day my friends! :)  luv, b & dd.)

world war b: genius knocks at the back door

Unable to use their jury-rigged cootiesphere from last year because their mom filled it with fabric, Baxter and his toyfriend, duk duk,  use their snow day off from school to continue brainstorming new and viable solutions to the anticipated and very much dreaded outbreak of Valentine's Day cooties, transmittable only by stinky girls who refuse to stand over there....

hee hee hee, by poops, i think we've got it, duk duk!  if we just wear our pants on our heads and keep walking backwards like this at school all day, i think this plan will totally work!























and the best part? if anybuddy violates our stand over there policy and tries to kiss us in the "face" and give us cooties, ka-pow, instant stinkification! :) :)

chillin of soon

mom, I really think we need to turn up the heat today. like, maybe for instance, now.