scenes from a nice walkie with my dad

...and that’s why walruses are much better candidates for space travel, really. o, hey, dad, dont ask me how i know, but do u know how many poops it takes to fill the back of our sofa?.. :)

bee a bee why

what?? mom, seriously. okay, okay, fine. u can call me your baby dog but just not in public. hee hee, now may i please have some? :)

sometimes

the little dachshund sat patiently in his mother’s lap, basking in the afternoon sun. sometimes, all u have to do is nothing, and something interesting still happens, the little dachshund thought to himself while he waited. 

the little dachshund turned his head to and fro, watching birds and cars go by. 

maybe, today’s interesting thing will be someone bringing me a package. that would be nice because i could bark bark bark and bark some more. and, of course, there would be a package. for me. to open. and eat. the little dachshund hoped, but no packages came.

maybe, a zeppelin would float by, and the captain, looking through his binoculars, would  spy my ferociousness, and throw down a ladder for me to climb to go for a ridey. that would be nice, so long as i was back in time for dinner. because wolves need dinner to stay ferocious, the little dachshund thought to himself. but no zeppelins floated by. 

maybe, gummy worms will rain down from the sky. that would be nice, for obvious reasons. but the sky remained clear and a lovely shade of blue. 

hee hee, or maybe, a strange and noxious odor might emanate from your hiney and fill the room with -  

the little dachshund, having eaten copious amounts of monkey chow the night before with his best toyfriend duk duk, did not have to imagine anymore. 

the little dachshund was rushed to the back door, his mother trying her best to wake up her sleepy legs while she grabbed his leash so he could do the rest of his business outside. 

filled with nevers and where did u even get more monkey chow, the little dachshund only heard bits and pieces of what his mother was telling him.  sometimes, the little dachshund thought to himself,  the nothing that you do today while waiting for the something interesting to happen is built on the nothing u say you did the day before. 

when a wolf decides it is time for a raise

hee hee, mom, if u want all of me in the picture it will cost u three extra snackies. :)

under cover

um, what am i holding in what paw, mom? because, well, you see, my ferocious paws were getting cold and i was just tucking them in this here blankie to get them warm when u walked in, really. but, if i find the halloween candy u think we are missing,  i certainly will bring it to your attention. :) 

when a wolf cares enough to give his mom the advice she needs on topics of great importance

well, mom, i mean, i know i heard dad telling u that our new car is on the way and all, and, i am sure the one u picked will be a-okay and everything, but, i was stinking i mean thinking that maybe it is still not too late to change the order out for a tr-v super land rocket with turbo charged thrusters and optional mega cargo trailer haul package.  u know, so we could go everywhere really fast and still take home all sorts of good stuff we could never take home before, like a walrus tank, and walrus food, and.. well, a walrus.  and maybe we could finally be able to take home three, no four pallets of gummy worms. and maybe, we could go to hot air balloon store, for obvious reasons.  i mean, see? things happen for a reason, and although it’s probably not the best time to be needing a new car, i just want to make sure we maximize the full potential this opportunity provides. :)

open window weather :)

(sniff sniff) (sniff sniff) ..(sniff) 

 nopies, duk duk. nothing. maybe howboutchoo pull the poop wagon closer to the house. but be sure to leave it in a sunny spot for maximum stink freshening. 

butt for the sake of science

the little dachshund knew what he was doing was risky, but for the sake of science, and in hopes of being able to finally make a lasting, effective cootie vaccine, he sniffed.  :) 

busy day

dear diary,

yesterday was so busy, i forgot to write my blog posty for today. but i am doing it now, and u can see how pooped i was.  :)

toodleydoo,

b. :)

a duk in the bush is worth more than a million cooties in your heat cave

duk duk, i know this temporary heat cave is not ideal, but even if she did leave today, what with disinfecting supplies being constrained and all, it would still take at least eleventy months before the cooties are fully and safely dissipated.  plus seriously i have found some bunnies in here on occasion and their poops are delicious . :) 

showdown at the nopies corral

yeah? well we’ll see who’s heat cave this is. just u wait, mini cootie cassie patootie bottoms, when mom comes down she’ll tell you  - o wait i think she is here.. 

see mom?? i told u it was an emergency.  o and after u show her the door, me and duk duk are going to need two space suits and at least eleventy gallons of full strength hospital grade sanitizer. o and probably at least thirty zillion hand wipes :)

quagmire of menace

mom, sorry for disturbing u, but can u please come downstairs? or, if now is not a good time, then can u please authorize me for full lethal pounding authority? we have a situation that must be addressed immediately...

(to be continued) 

socially distant :)

well, maybe instead, we can go for a walkie 

away from cassie’s house. u know, just to make double sure we do not catch any cooties. 

tiny bubbles

hee hee, okay okay, duk duk, keep your feathers on. we promised not to bother her and i am pretty sure she knows already, but i’ll tell her. 

um, mom, sorry to interrupt your bath and all, but me and duk duk wanted to make sure u knew that, well, in addition to our excellent ferocious protection duties, we just want to remind u..

that if u need it, we can totally help u make more bubbles for your bath  :)  

mayhem at the nopies corral

omg that was close. hurry, duk duk, get your smelly butt back inside !! 

u saw it -  no smellygagging! seriously we have to close the door and batten down the hatches before - 



eeeeeeeeeek! too late! 

um, sorry, new tiny cassieosmellynelly , as keepers of the ferociousness, me and duk duk regret to inform that this house enforces strict social distancing measures which requires u to stand way, way, way over there.  no ifs ands or butts. furthermore, if you would kindly remember to refrain from coming over here ever again, that would be really helpful bc me and duk duk are generally going to be really really busy having fun and we have no time for - o hang on, my mother is tellling me something ...

wait, what? mom!  what do u mean let her in!????!?!

when u r pretty sure your mom should get her hearing checked but in the meanwhile u help out any way u can :)

mom, um, anytime u r ready u can just put a snackie right here and i will eat it, okay? like, anywhere on this thing. really, i will. like, chomp gulp donezo. mom? mom? 

mom, i said..anytime u r ready just put a snackie here and i will eat it, okay? 

fresh air

pheeeeeewwwwweeee peeew! hee hee, now that’s a epic foofie if i do smell so myself!!

um, hey quick can somebuddy up front please press the ventilation recirc button? 

properly pounded :)

the little dachshund watched out the window and waited patiently for the last three steps of his plan to work. first, his best toyfriend, duk duk, would steal the map that the little dachshund knew he undoubtedly would find in the hiding spot that he had promised the little dachshund he would leave alone or risk penalty of pounding. second, gleefully anticipating the bounty of gummy worms he would find and not have to share, his best toyfriend would then use the map to go to the exact location where the little dachshund marked, never noticing the acme stamp located on the lower left hand corner of the map. then, once duk duk was properly situated, blammo, out of nowhere a giant piano would drop from above and his best toyfriend would be properly pounded. :) 

like the rest of me :)

mom, dontchoo think it is time to let my nails grow long and ferocious like the rest of me?  

b o r e d

mom, are we there yet? :)