i am squirtle

Sometimes I think it would be nice if mom made me a nice puffy muff like victorian ladies would stick their hand into on a cold winter's day, only instead of hands, i would wear it on my body, and i would look like squirtle the plump blue turtle. :)

what's up, pup?

dear diary,
yesterday i went to the museum to work on my school project for performance art class,  but something tells me i need to find a new production assistant. who maybe has a smaller head, or dyes his hair sky blue.

toodleydoo!
b. :)

poodini

There are two things I learned yesterday. Bunnies make orange snow, and a certain little someone can be quite the naughty magician. 

hee hee,  now u see the bunny poop, and poof! now u do not!! :) 

world war b: happy vadertine's day

hee hee, just a few more stink lines, and voila, that's the last one!

it is too bad school is cancelled for today on account of all the snow, isn't it duk duk? i mean, not only do we have our valentines all ready, but we came up with not one, but two very viable plans that i am certain would have guaranteed us protection from cooties.















i only hope darth got my message in time that school was closed today.  i heard salty slush really does a number on black capes and boots.

(hee hee, happy vadertine's day my friends! :)  luv, b & dd.)

world war b: genius knocks at the back door

Unable to use their jury-rigged cootiesphere from last year because their mom filled it with fabric, Baxter and his toyfriend, duk duk,  use their snow day off from school to continue brainstorming new and viable solutions to the anticipated and very much dreaded outbreak of Valentine's Day cooties, transmittable only by stinky girls who refuse to stand over there....

hee hee hee, by poops, i think we've got it, duk duk!  if we just wear our pants on our heads and keep walking backwards like this at school all day, i think this plan will totally work!























and the best part? if anybuddy violates our stand over there policy and tries to kiss us in the "face" and give us cooties, ka-pow, instant stinkification! :) :)

world war b

bleaaarrrrrrrrrRRRRGGGGHHHHaaaarghhgarrrghgarrgarghgarrgh !

hmmm. well duk duk, i guess u r right after all.  the stinky neighbor basset girls and their cooties seem unaffected by the presence of obnoxious sound. and if it does not work on them, it surely will not work against all the girls at school.... i sure hope we find a new anti-cootie protocol soon - valentine's day is only two days away....

i like monday bananas

I like Monday bananas...a lot. :) 

princess toes

mom, i'll stop blocking your way to the kitchen sink while i eat my lunchy lunch as soon as we install heated flooring in our kitchen.  okay? okay. :)

dog and duk cave

why yes mom, seeing as it is still very cold out and me and duk duk still have much to discuss concerning this year's valentine cootie protection plan,  lunchy lunch in the cave would be very much appreciated if it is not too much trouble. :) :)

today in squee :)

...yes i can mom! if i juth go hlike thith, hardly anthee one will notith. hthee? :)

soon to be etsy fresh: hello square-o!

hee hee hee, i can see it's gonna totally hip to be square this Valentine's day!  :) 

#newshape #comingverysoonysoon  #teenytinydoxietreasureboxes  #eventinier

 (ps - i am hoping to help mom load these and more boxes to the shop tonitey nite after my dinner and if i cannot finish before my bedtime, probably tomorrow during the day. so if you have been waiting for one like forever or know someone who could really use one this Valentine's day, stay tuned to etsy n  facebook n twittter n instagram to answer the call of dooty! :))

duntdunt..duntdunt..doodleyoooooo

hee hee hee, beware of the ferocious great white vampire snackie land shark!! 

anthem

...and the hooome, of my, peeeeee! :) :)

(crickets)

some moms just cannot appreciate good comedy, can they? #guesswhatgetsyellowinmybackyardshouldstayinmybackyard

case of the tiny footprints

Signs of a happy dachshund were all over our backyard yesterday, busy as he was spending the morning nakey in the snow save for his collar, searching for the intruders who so brazenly left evidence of their uninvited visit :)

do not worry mom, I do not need a warm jacket. but if u would please bring me my sherlock hat and tell duk dukson that the game is on, I would really appreciate it!  :) :)

waiting to inhale

do not worry little snackie, I will eat you as soon as mom lets me :)

i am porpoise :)

It's not easy being a low rider dachshund, chest deep in a mere three to four inches of snow.  Which I guess is why every dachshund knows that when it snows, you turn into a porpoise.

hee hee hee, mom, come get me when my bucket of sardines is ready!! :) :)

etsy fresh: monster feet stomp the cooties valentine's day card

dear diary,
you know how valentine's day cards can be all kissy kissy flowers n stink (and not the good kind mind u)?  well, me and duk duk decided it was time to make a valentine's day card for the rest of us and here it is!

yup, that's right, i put on my monster feet and me and duk duk made cootie protection card that u can send to everyone - even girls! because, if u send the card by mail, well u know, you will not even really have to stomp out the cooties because the girl you are sending it to will already be standing way waaaay over there.  but, at least after reading this card, she will know that you would stomp the cooties out if you had to and really it is the thought that counts, isn't it?

so anyhoo,  i hope u like our card and if you do, you can find it now in my mom's etsy shop, and you can find tons of other valentines cards in the valentine's/love/anniversary card section too.  and, while u r there, u might want to look look looky at the supercute new birthday card i also helped mom put in the kalyxcraftopia etsy shop.  yeah, i know, we've been busy :)

toodleydoo!
b. 

clockwork

Some days, a short little boy needs help being noticed by his busy mom and dad.  Especially, it seems, when matters of his rumbly tummy are involved.

mom, in case u did not notice when I barked at u a minute ago, it is now exactly two minutes past my lunchy lunch hour. :) :)

  

double trouble

..so that's your mission should you choose to accept it.  are there any questions?

yes,  a similar patch will be provided, and a collar too...

well, you can take my iphoney, but if you lose it, i will pound you. oh, and no prank texting. well, no more than usual.

...our locker number is 341,  combination echo tango delta eleventy psi. but really u should not need to get into it because all we really put in there are our unfinished assignments and we only look at those once a week, maybe every two weeks.

any more questions? 
 
 your payment in gummy worms will be waiting for you upon your return in a pink satchel under the concrete bench in the little misses' play area.

yes mom thinks today is a teacher workday, so if either of you need to reach us, call duk duk's cell. but only for emergencies because me and duk duk will be very busy tomorrow doing nothing.



 say what? oh, thanks duk duk, you're right. there is one thing I forgot to mention and this is the utmost of importance...

do not under any circumstances talk to any girls without first making sure they stand over there..

failure to do so will blow your mission and void our contract.  not to mention you might also get cooties.

and with that, gentlemen, i think it is time for you to get our backpacks and go out to the bus stop! 



























um, why hello mom.  didjoo ever meet our friends, um, paxtor and luk luk?  they were just leaving so there is nothing to see here really. :) :)

here in snugalot

well mom, i suppose it is nice and sunny outside...but, maybe...we could go for walkies later? :) :)