knock knock

knock knock

who's there?

squirrel

squirrel who?

nyah nyah, let's get the squirrel outta here!!

twin

There was something pleasingly familiar about the loaf of bohemian rye bread that I pulled out from the bread machine yesterday. So loafy and warm and plump and brown. The little kielbasa's tushie bread twin, our daily bread for the week.

yankee poodle dandy

dear diary,
well it is finally done! i sure hope mister jefferson likes the declaration that he wanted me to write for him. he said if i did a good job on it i might get two bones! just think, between those bones and the one i got from missus ross for finishing that flag, i'll have three bones! oh how lucky i am to live in the new world, even if i have to wear a wig that makes me look like a poodle!! :)

toodles!
b.

the secret life of Bark Gent

hee - tomorrow, more behind Ammo's no longer toptay ecretsay duds! :)



and PS - boy have youtube videos improved in quality! I updated some prior videos with their much clearer, and larger cousins. just looky under the category videos or do a search if ya got the time and the hankerin.

craigslisted

WANTED: Motorized rotisserie spit bed with paw-actuated sunscreen baster, dachshund sized, to ensure even tummy tanning and prevent tan lines, thereby reducing future confusion regarding whether or not I need a bath. For purchase or rent thru summer. Serious offers only, contact T. Chumley by leaving a mark at fire hydrant #345.

still life

Just life, imitating art, according to my little boyfriend.








Okay, Bax Bax Binks really cracks me up so here it is in larger glory! Happy Friday!

whoopsie

dear diary,
how embarrassing! i just found out my secret language isn't really that secret at all. but i figure that's okay, cuz we're friends and u can keep a secret, too, right? i mean, after all, u are my diary and who's really readin u besides me?

hee - speaking of which, maybe this is a good time i finally told somebody that sometimes, i like to lick my...ooo wait, did u hear that? i think duk duk's comin. i'll have to tell you more later. u see me, duk duk, mr dragon, bunnito, ropey ramjet n green bobo are gonna play guitar hero. yeah, i know it sounds like a lot of toyfriends but since none of us have fingers or thumbs, it takes all of us to work all the buttons n stuff. this time, i get to work the whammy bar and i am totally excited about it. think i might try nudging it with my nose and if i can't keep up that way then hopefully i can push it with my paw. wish me luck!

toodles,
b

optay ecretsay

dear diary,
guess what! i am spy! well, no not really. but i am involved in a special project for somebody and that's just like bein a spy, right? cept well, i'm not a spy. i'm just helpin and there's really no snoopin around at all. it is kind of disappointing cuz i really had high hopes when mom asked me if i wanted to help out with a special project. this is a prototype my mom made to see if her idea would work and this is me tryin it out. yeah, same as always, i know. but at least i got to learn a new secret language that nobody will be able to understand except for u know who. u know. the somebody this this project is for. i can't wait to talk to duk duk in my new language cuz boy won't he be confused!

well, i hope u have a fun memorial day. mom and dad said something about puttin dogs on the grill and i sure hope they're not talkin about me or any of my friends! well, unless they want me to lick it clean. i would be happy to do that so long as the grill isn't hot. yum.

toodles!
b.

ps - ihay moamay! ommay oughtthay atthay isthay ightmay ebay evelopedday toinay ouryay deaiay orfay moamay's elmethay. atwhay oday ouyay inkthay?

please go home

dear baxter,
hey it's your pal, sammy the cat. u know, honeybear n kerny's brother? i know i was part of the posse givin u the stink eye and all the last time you visited us, but we're buds still, right? cuz i really need your help getting your mom outta my home before she drives me absolutely nuts. i mean, looky here at what she did to me. sure i wore it and all and it was comfortable but i'm a cat, not a dragonfly. what are the birds and squirrels gonna think? i'm not gonna be able to catch anythin in this get up!

well, anyways, if there is anythin u can do, i would appreciate it. say hi to your dad for me and save me some cheese, will ya?

your friend,
sammy

missed connection

today, a little short from my little friend. :)

ooo, and a static picture from the video cuz not everyone has all that time on their hands, do they?



7/17/2010 update: PS - had to replace Yaz's "Bad Connection" with this crazy song. Boo hoo. In a perfect world, this video starts when Alison Moyet starts singing. So imagine if you will... :)

naked brunch

dear diary,
um, i'm not exactly sure what happened yesterday, except all i remember is that the easter bunny finally did show up to my party and he brought tons of jellybeans and rawhide, and, like, today i woke up and found myself like this. um, just the naked part. the standing on the table part i'm doing now cuz i'm looking for my stuff. i am hoping i just got a little hot playing hopscotch with everybody and that my collar and my easter bonnet that mom made me are around here somewhere. otherwise i am in big trouble with mom and dad and who wants that?

hey, u don't think that duk duk, bunnito bunnalini, and that wascally easter wabbit hid them, do u? cuz nuthin really happened on april fools' day like last year, and now this happens. boy if they did take my stuff, i'll give them all such a pinch when i find them! especially duk duk, cuz i haven't pranked him in forever.

well, i'm gonna look under the sofa now cuz i kinda remember we also played hide n seek yesterday. ya know, that easter bunny is a lot of fun when he's not hidin my stuff. i wonder if all bunnies are a lot funner than i thought...

nah, i'll still keep chasin em.

toodles!
b.

say ahhhh

smile, my mom asked me.
but instead i made a yawn
that scared even me.

- baxter, 3.1 years old, reconsidering his notion to pursue a career as lion under the big top.
















Class is fun despite being a fish out of water. Funny how the ideas start to flow. I may not be enamelling flowers yet, but I can't wait to enamel some funky dog tags if I can convince somebody to punch some holes for me! :) No burns or nicks yet, but a few close calls yesterday. Cell phone reception is horrible, making for awful conversations with Big Boyfriend, so here I say, all my love and I miss you! (I would tell that to tiny boyfriend, too, but even though he can write, he can't read yet! :0 )

riddle me this

hey, what's born with four legs but walks on two?

me!

ahahahahaha hyuk hyuk hyuk!

flight of the doxie

Well hello again. It's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you today about me. Yep, that's right, me. You see, today I hope to fly, just like all the birds in the sky. Wanna watch?










Now Duk Duk says in order to fly all I have to do flap my wings, but since I don't have any, I am going to use my ears cuz they've always been pretty flappy

Fasten your seat belts, everybody. I'm ready for takeoff!

Engaging right flapper. Chugga chugga chugga

Oops, I seem to be having a problem with my left ear flap so I'm gonna have to go full throttle to get both my flappers working.

Please, for your own safety and protection from the anticipated sonic boom, stand back as I turn on my thrusters.

Chug chug chug. Vroooosh!

Yipee, I'm almost airborn, I can feel it!

WHEEEEEEEEE!

Whoa THAT was fun! This is Baxter, your roving rover reporter saying let's totally do that again!!!

wishful thinking

oh pleeeze let there be something for me in here!

day 3: bored

my name is baxter, and i am waitin for my mom 2 come home.

double header

dear diary,
today was mom's turn to write but i just had to say that somethin's up, i can just feel it. mom's not sewing and she's doing laundry and i think she is packing and i don't see my kennel anywhere so i might not be going with. can u believe it???

duk duk thinks we should learn how 2 use this thing once we agree on who should work the pedal. don't u think it should be duk duk? i mean he's missin like a whole wing now and i still got all my paws. we figure maybe if we learn this we thing then we can also learn 2 drive and then i am sure she will take us with her. wish us luck!

toodles!
b.

my thank u note

dear diary,
yay we are now safe at home and everything is where it should be cuz i double checked. mom made me some stationery and i wrote this letter to jasper on our trip home today. do u think he'll like it? anyways, i hope u r having a fine friday night. me, i think i'll sleep some more.

toodles!
b.

my cousin jasper

dear diary,
this is my cousin jasper. he is a rescued border collie and i have been staying at his house. i wish i could tell you more about him but i've been kinda keepin my distance. yeah we go on walks together and most of the time everything is fine but sometimes when we are home inside, well sometimes i can't help but feel like he's givin me the stink eye and i get a little worried. i even embarrassed myself and ran away aro-arooing a few times when he got too close to me. boy what a mistake that was. that only made him MORE interested in me, can u believe it?









thing is, mom says border collies are natural born herders. mom says when he looks at me all he sees is something that should be herded. like i'm a sheep or somethin.




but, c'mon. he's biggern me and that mighty stink eye of his? well, i really think he's sees me more as this.




yeah that's right. dinner. a tasty sausagey dinner. i would eat that, too, really, if it didn't have my head on it. so, that's why for now i prefer runnin off, thanks, spectacle or not.

i think things will be fine, though. today mom and jasper's mom have been keeping an eye on both of us. and let me tell you, their stink eyes beat out both our stink eyes any day. it's a good thing we love our moms so much.

well that's is all for now. tomorrow i'm goin to my other grandma's house and i can't wait! she seems to really like me so maybe i can get some extra lovin.

toodles,
b.

dear santa

dear santa,
i am tryin to be a good boy and just to make sure i think i will sleep thru these next two days. if u would, please come into our house quietly and try not to wake me up else i might bark at u and even though i'm just doin my job sometimes people don't get it. anyways, please give comet my best cuz he is my favorite reindeer and i hope u don't throw your back out hauling all that stuff around. believe me, i know it doesn't feel great.

your friend,
baxter

ps - some rawhide would be nice.