i've pooped everywhere man

dear diary,
well diary, even though the trip back home was pretty boring, me n duk duk n chocobot n lil pink puppy are back home now safe n sound and can u believe we traveled over two thousand miles?  which is really cool becuz that means i have traveled over twelve thousand miles now, and duk duk thinks that means i've pooped practically everywhere on earth and so now for our new years resolution and thanks to some inspiration we found on the way back home, me n duk duk are going to try and send a poopie snake into outer space - u know, 2 like the moon or sumptin.  we both think it will be a lot easier and cheaper than trying to send a monkey like we tried to last year.

anyhoo, i hope i can stay awake in school today because me n duk duk are going to get up extra early to shine up my tushie bling cuz heck yeah u know all the kids are gonna wanna see.  and we might even try to charge admission because even though project poopie snakes in space will be cheaper than project monkeys in space, duk duk think it will still cost a tiny fortune so the sooner we start fundraising the better, dontchoo think?

toodley-doo!

b. :)

etsy fresh: love is in the air

dear diary,
well what a fun trip i had to visit my grandma and my cousin jasper and his family!  and it's kinda not over because me n duk duk and chocobot n lil pink puppy are still making our way home but guess what - since we upgraded out train tickets to business class now i have access 2 the internet and so i decided to help mom add some super cool new cards and some perennial favorites for birthdays, valentines day, and even st patrick's day!  here is just a tiny sample of whatchoo will see if u visit and yeah u know it, there's even a luchador birthday card!

anyhoo, while i was out west me n duk duk had a ton more swell ideas for cards so hopefully by the end of the month u will also see more goodies from the brought to u by baxter n duk duk series.  cuz u know, the world needs more happy cards, right?

toodley-doo!
b. :)

homeland defense

A tiny hole in his grandma's fence was a source of great curiosity for sherriff chumley, who took it upon himself to investigate this mysterious portal and make sure that no unwelcome visitors would cross into his grandma's backyard.

hellooo?  if u have been trespassing into my grandma's yard u should know that  i am leaving behind some very scary poopie snakes so do not come again unless u r asked because not only are they stinky but they will eat u!

hidden

I love the little places that Baxter finds as his hiding spots when he realizes our separation doom is imminient. Shadowy areas without much clearance for coaxing hands.  The kind of spots that might be actually perfect if he would only remember that there is more of himself to hide than actually gets hidden.


mom, i was so quiet! how on earth did u find me and do i really have to stay at home??

tummy talk

Tiny chumley's tummy patience was thoroughly tested yesterday, having spent over 20 minutes squealing and gnawing and chucking his rawhide stuffed kong toy all over his grandma's house before finally giving in and dropping the source of his frustration at my feet.

mom, u know i cannot get this out e-z-lee.  will u please hold it for me so i can nibble on the inside cuz i cannot visit with grandma until my tummy says i can!

treasure chest

No worse for wear and sporting nifty new chrome bling on his tushie, tiny chumley wasted no time in checking out his cousin's digs, making himself right at home in a toy box that was almost too tall for him to investigate.

ooo, duk duk, bring me a stool! i see enough wubbas 4 everybuddy in here!!

frankentushie

dear diary,
yippee! we are finally here at my border collie cousin jasper's western saloon and no sooner did we unpack and settle in than, uh, well, what can i say there was an accidental herding incident.  but please do not worry for me bcuz the vet said my wounds were not as bad as they look and even though one of them was not very deep it was a tiny bit  wide so to help it heal better i got two very cool staples and antibiotics and i even got a tushie shave! although not shaved with my name like i was hopin but maybe my vet will do it when he visits me to take my staples out in 10 days.

anyhoo, i totally wish it were halloween now bcuz wouldn't my tushie make the best frankenstein ever?  mom always said it had a life of its own. :o

toodley-doo!
b. :)

ps - do not worry,  i am okay bcuz jasper thought it might be a good idea for him to stay at his grandmas house while we are in town and we r going to video skype bcuz that way he says if his herding instinct surfaces, all he will be able to herd is his monitor and well u know, it is a lot harder and less susceptible to herding than my tushie.  and he said i could have all his snackies while he is gone and they are very delicious.  and, mom says most importantly, although i have not exhibited any symptoms of problems, the vet here said she detected a heart murmur and now i will totally get that checked out when i get home. i know, what a day, right? :)

double posties: testing testing

are we there yet???

- baxter, 5 years old, ready to reach his destination out west.


and yes this is a double postie because it is driving me nuts trying to understand why these posts will not bridge or manually post to facebook! :o

dapper doxie duds: feelin stitchy!

dear diary,
well it turns out u cannot get netflix via the telegraph like we were hopin, so the ride out west is long and slow and even though it is foofie filled, we can hardly wait to get off this train and walk on the dry sandy soil of my cousin jasper's ranch.  and hopefully find a real sandworm so we can ride it.

but anyhoo, as i have nothing really 2 report today bcuz we are still on the train, i thought i would show u the wonderful duds i helped my mom make for my friend stitch, a long haired chocolatey dapple who is not only getting a happy black and turquoise aqua sushi dud, but also these super duper ones!  and yeah as u might guess, stitch is a lot smaller than i am otherwise i would have modeled them all for u.

hee hee, yeah that's right, stitch was named after stitch, so of course he needed a stitch dud, right?

and even though we just celebrated the new year's arrival, can u believe there will be another new year coming up?  this time it will be the year of the dragon and wouldn'tchoo know that mom found a lovely embroidered silk robe back in chicago thinking the right pup would come along and need this turned into a harness and wouldn'tchoo that that right pup was stitch?  















and yep, this was the one that started it all.  bcuz when stitch's mom first contacted my mom she decided she wanted a very nice quilty dud for her boy and well, u know what they say about potato chips?  my dud drawer and now stitch's dud drawer is a testament to the fact thatchoo can't have just one.

mehopes u likey them very much stitch and i cannot wait to see u wearing them!!!


toodley-doo,
b. :)

go west

dear diary,
with christmas over and school not starting for another week, me n duk duk n chocobot n lil pink puppy were almost getting bored and then we thought, why not take the train and do just like the pet shop boys and go west to visit my cousin jasper?  which is a super idea because now that i have my sheriff's outfit, i think i jasper will be better able to tell me apart from the sheep he likes herding so much.  and with my cowboy hat, methinks i will fit in very well with the local scenery which i learned in school is whatchoo want to do, especially in rome for some reason although i am sure it applies to the great sand and cactus filled deserts of the wild west.  

anyhoo, so as u can see me n duk n chocobot n lil pink puppy are all packed up for our adventure and maybe on the train ride we will work on our new year resolutions but for now i must say hasta luego pardner, bcuz soon it will be time to board our train and as we will be in western coach class, methinks there will not be any internet, only telegraph. which i think will make it very difficult to watch netflix,  but duk duk says he knows morse code well enough that it should not be a problem otherwise it is gonna be one long foofie filled trip.

toodley-doo!
b. :)

goodbye 2011

As cliched as it sounds, I really can't believe that another year is about to come to a close.  It took three hundred and sixty four posts in 2011 to get to this point, or more than a thousand since the little kielbasa and I first cast our hello into the cyber darkness, and found there to be love and light as we would never have imagined.

As it has over this past year, in 2012, as little white hairs take hold on tiny chumley's chinny chin chin and sprout like dandelions, I am certain Baxter's tiny little microcosmic world will evolve.  Making new friends, and, sadly, losing friends too.  Such are the ups and downs of life.   But I hope our little corner of the universe will continue to be the happy go lucky and crafty place that it is, full of sunshine and wonder and dachshund love.  Where the watermelon is plentiful and the paw shakes firm, where unicorns are truly appreciated and coexist happily with turtles and sandworms and mischievous duks and even newborn little pink puppies.  Where a lucha loving dog and his dukfriend can do the robot and speak with authority when they say what happens at woof mitzvah, stays at woof mitzvah.

I haven't a clue what 2012 holds in store for us, but I know even on the grayest of days next year, it will be all the merrier and sunshinier, all because of we have been touched by the likes our wiggly four legged sausagey boy wonder.  Goodbye 2011.  Hello 2012. :) 


 

ode to my yellow ballie

my new ballie is so nice n yellow
it almost reminds me of lemon jello.
but justchoo wait until tonite,
when i'll be able tell u
if the insides r white!

- baxter, 5 years old.  yeah, u know what he's going to be doing today. :)

mountain climbing

Goodness knows what possesses my stubby legged sausage boy to do the things he does sometimes, but some days like yesterday, he really can't do them without a little help from his friends.

 

um, somebuddy want to give me a hand here? :)

captivated

(blink...)   (blink...........blink.)

ooo! i think i saw something!... no, wait. i think that was just the heat waves from lil pink puppy's foofie.


(blink.)   (blink blink.)        (blink.)

oh i think i saw - no, that was just a shadow from the birds outside.

(blink....blink.....................blink)

ooo! i am almost pos- nope, my bad. hey!! quit shoving duk duk!
   
(blink..................................blink)

ow! duk duk!  okay okay, next time we open presents u can do it but i do not see how that is going to help us not throw away the directions this time because they are already gone - ooo wait,  didjoo see that? it moved! butchoo gotta keep your head very still 2 see it.  okay, maybe soon it will do it again so everybuddy watch and try not to shove so much...


- baxter, 5 years old, & his toyfriends, hopefully waiting for the magic kibble mystery mountain fountain of fun fun silly surprises to erupt and shower them with wonderful fun fun silly surprises., despite having accidentally thrown away the instructions on boxing day :)

 

santasfaction (n): the joy derived from santa's fulfillment of one little kielbasa's wishes, desires, or needs

 gee, mom n dad, um, thanks for the really nice, uh,  snowsuit. it's really nice and warm and... hey, did santa leave us anything else besides my new squeaker ball and mister gingerbread man by any chance?  :)

ooo, is dat what i think it is? 

yes!!! santa brought us dino poopie snakes!

precious poopie snakes! 


oh thank u santa!!! this is better than anything else we had on our li --

(sniff sniff) but wait...

(sniff sniff)

(sniff)

methinks i smell more from santa!! 

(sniff sniff) no way.   wait, (sniff) could it really be?

yeSSSS! it's the magic kibble mystery mountain fountain of fun fun silly surprises! the magic kibble mystery mountain fountain of fun fun silly surprises!!! santa made us the magic kibble mystery mountain fountain of fun fun silly suprises!!!!

um, mom n dad, if we are all done here, can somebuddy help us take this to our play room and  may me n duk duk n chocobot n lil pink puppy be excused now?   :) :)

(hee hee, thank u miss keren for helping make a certain little kielbasa's wildest dreams come true this christmas.)

christmas thank you

dear diary,
i have so many things to tell you about christmas that i think it will take me more than a couple days to really tell u everything, but let me start by saying that i feel that i am the luckiest dog in the world, and not just because i got so many wonderful new doxie goodies (thank u ammo for the lovely orange doxie pen! i hope 2 write 2 u soon with it!)

and not because i got so many wonderful christmas cards that our former potato-chip-bag spinner-display-thingy-turned-christmas-card-tree was full (but oooo i got so many cool cards from my friends!)





























and not just because there were so many wonderful snackies and toys and things that i thought were toys for me to open and taste on christmas day (yeah baby more on that 2morrow!)














nope, besides all the wooty booty i got for christmas,  i know i am the luckiest dog in the world because i am loved by my mom and dad and by everybuddy, and for that i am very thankful. :)





hee hee, i hope u had a wonderful christmas!

toodley-doo!!
b. :)

holiday hooray

Hee hee, a tiny video of a happy little jig around this morning's present pile, from one happy little dachshund and his toyfriends.   Merry Christmas everybuddy!! 

and the snackies were placed by the chimney with care

hee hee hee, okay okay. we can all share one snackie bcuz there is no way he can see us as busy as he is today, right? :)

- baxter, 5 years old, overheard while he and his toyfriends were getting ready for santa's visit on christmas eve, and bringing new meaning to the term, t minus one.

north pole confessional

please forgive me santa it has been 2 weeks since i last was naughty and i am very sorry for what happened yesterday even though it was technically duk duk's fault but mom says there are no room for excuses in apologies so me just wanted to tell u how sorry i am about spilling monkeychow nog on the rug yesterday and i am sure u know since u see everything that me n duk duk cleaned it up real nice even while everyone else had a fine time at our after charlie and the chocolate factory foofie party and  i hope u will agree that we still deserve all the things we asked for christmas.  well, except duk duk's request for the cowabunga 540 xtra distance wing action master blaster super disaster water cannon  because i forgot to ask u for the megamotion 890XD4 power shower multispread body shredder aqua pro rifle and u know he would cream me without it but if it's not too late can u go ahead and add the megamotion 890XD4 power shower multispread body shredder aqua rifle and optional quik change clip grip with steady paw sling in blazing camo green to my list?  and do not worry if all this is too much for u to bring on christmas eve, i can totally wait to get it on boxing day. :)

t minus 3

oooh pleeze mom may we open just one???

- baxter, 5 years old, speaking on behalf of himself and his toyfriends as they anxiously await christmas day. :)