the cassieodrama strain

nope nope nopies nope. not gonna happen nope nope no thank u nope nope nopies nope...mom, cooties...nope nope nopies nope..mom, she's gonna...nope nope no thank u no picture is worth - nope nope...mom I really think we should..

eeeks incoming! incoming! bwoop bwoop! someone activate emergency contamination protocol Cassie-alpha-8 and tell duk duk to get my shower cap and fill the bath immediately with undiluted maximum strength anti-cootie formula!! bwoop bwoop!!

#dangerSCARY

dear diary,
there is only one thing scarier for me to show you this wednesday before halloween and since me and duk duk's costumes are still #topsecretSCARY,  today i am showing you the kind of scary i like to call #dangerSCARY, because any second now, my neighbor puppy friend cassie could come up and lick you, or jump on you, or roll you, or slobber all over you. and you would most definitely get covered in cooties.  these are all of the kinds of dangerous and scary things that could happen to you, when you enter ...the Cassie Zone. 

doo-bee-doo-doo, doo-bee-doo-doo,
b. :)

personal sheeshus

Sometimes all a little boy can do when things don't go his way is cope, as only a little boy can. :)

mega movie tease monday: little gladiators

dear diary,
this past weekend i went to my puppy friend hank's house and something tells me once he settles down a little more on the chompy chomp, he and i will be very good friends.  how do i know? well, because he and i are already planning to make our first feature film together.  u know, something that will feature lots and lots of action and probably gladiators and lions and u know, stuff like that.

in fact, we went ahead and made a demo trailer.  it's a little rough and the trailer ends abruptly,  but as Poop T Barnum said, always leave them wanting more.  

toodleydoo!

b. :)

my new friend hank :)

dear diary,
today i finally got to meet lulu's mom's new puppy and my new doxie puppy friend, hank! hank is now twelve weeks old and weighs five pounds and needless to say he is a real squeebert and neither of us could stay still long enough for pictures, so i decided to show you some videos from our first brunchmas playdate, which i figured u might want to see again and again and again so i posted them as viney videos.  all in all we had a lot of fun and the little misses came over and held him and everything! next time we visit together i think i will ask mom if she will make me a shark proof body suit because, well, let's just say that puppy teeth? well they are a whole lot sharper than u would think they are. especially when they are latched on to u like a crab on a finger, or in my case, a puppy on your neck meat.

anyhoo shark suit or not, i sure hope me and hank can get together and play again soon.  i have not yet seen his poopie snakes although mom says they are little peanuts, which would be a nice addition to our collection. 

happy labor day monday and toodleydoo!
b. :)

stink marks the spot :)

hee hee, no need to be shy, frankie junior my puppy friend who lives in the next neighborhood. go ahead and let the force guide your nose to its destiny!

ooh your nose is cold, Frankie j! Houston, nasal docking procedure with lunar foofie module b.a.x. is a success.  repeat, nasal docking procedure with lunar foofie module b.a.x is a success. commencing second phase lunar module de-pressurization in three, two, one...(pfweeeeeoooeeeoooo!)

hee hee yeah u like it Frankie? the secret ingredient is canned stinky salmon. u should ask for it the next time your mom takes u to the pet store. not only does it make your poop stink, but if u r lucky u might also get the butt scooties. and, if for some reason u cannot find the salmon stuff, try eating some cat poop if u can find it. you will not get quite the same dry down as with the salmon stuff and the base notes are a little earthier, but the taste and texture pair well with both regular low fat kibble and gummy worms, so you can eat it either as a main course, a side, or even dessert.  what's that Frankie? yeah sure I can wait a sec.  I got a million of these so be sure to get your biggest one!

Frankie's gotta go back inside his house and get his pencil and notebook so he can write all ths down.  oh, if he's going back inside, that reminds me -

hey Frankie j! bring a couple of your toys and I will show you how to start your own secret club!! :)

iambic pooptameter :)

i do not play with girls -

but girls do play with me -

and so i stand here in the grass -

 

hoping that this too shall pass!

#namethatpoet :)

be my guest :)

oh yes, your ears do smell very nice, cassie!

but here, let me tell u something my puppy friend.  i know it is sunday and all and normally we do not learn things on account of there being no school on sunday, but since u only just started puppy kindergarten, and i am older and wiser than u, well, let me tell u sumptin because  sniffing ears is nice n all, but real dogs? 

real dogs sniff tushies! here..be my guest!! :) :)

 

the life of littles

Tiny chumley didn't like it at all the fateful afternoon a couple weeks back his neighbor puppy friend Cassie accidentally rolled him with her massive and playful paws.  Now he asks her to keep her distance, at least until she is a little older and wiser, but he's happy still to have her visit along with the little misses as she did yesterday and share in the duties of being hugged and squeezed and kissed all over. 

Yesterday was not only the second day of spring break, but it was also, as luck would have it, open window weather. So while little miss Sarah and I worked for her first time on a sewing machine, while little miss Julia made tea party invitations and while Cassie puppy napped a little ways over there, tiny chumley lay his little sun warned noggin on the windowsill, and sniffed the air for bunnies and kitties, and all was happy in everyone's happy little world :) 

body language

dear diary,
some things are better left unsaid. but that doesn't mean u cannot say them without ever having said anything at all.  i sure hope she gets the hint.

toodley-doo!
b. :)

teeny tiny viney videos: floats like a poopie snake and stinks like a B

Cassie, I am told, has yet to really bark in her new home. But I think a few more pouncy playtime sessions with her happy little noisy ground hog sized friend will change all that soon enough. :)






   hee hee, do not worry cassie my new friend, soon enough we will bark the same language and i can tell u all the best places to find bunny poop in your yard! :)

my new friend Cassie

dear diary, 

guess what! the little misses got a new puppy this past weekend and her name is Cassie. she is only three months old and already she is as big as me, only taller and fluffier. but not so big yet that the little misses cannot carry her around, which is kind of a relief because they used to always want to carry me. she so far has been very quiet and likes to eat bunny poop and pine cones and assorted floor junk, which is pretty cool for a girl.

now, I know what u r thinking, and I have been thinking about it too. but because she is a puppy and still has a lot to learn, I thought I would stand over there because I do not think she even knows where there is, much less here yet. plus this past weekend it was so nice out that mom backed her car out into our driveway and I turned it into a comfy and warm makeshift anti-cootiesphere. Cassie is going to the vet this week for her cootie shot by the way so maybe this weekend we can be in closer proximity and play together and I can show her the ropes for sniffing out bunnies and chasing squirrels.

anyhoo, I have to pack my lunchy lunch for school now so I will smell u later.   

toodleydoo! 

b :)

goodbye molly & millie

As we grow older, it seems we collect more than gray hairs and stories of our aches and pains, we collect names.  Of those whom we have met who touched our lives, whom we have loved, and inevitably lost.

Even though we always know from the beginning of our relationship that it is likely we will be adding the names of  our tiny little four legged friends to our list, it never eases the pain when that day arrives, nor does it  provide much comfort for the days thereafter when the world so rudely keeps on spinning. Tiny chumley's list of names grew by two these past few days, and it is with a heavy heart that today we must say goodbye to our friends Molly and Millie, and promise that we will remember them and all our friends whom we have lost, all the rest of our days.  Rest in peace sweet girls, and warmest of hugs to your families <3 br="">

my friend pretzel :)

dear diary,
our plan to skip school was going along pretty well until lunchtime, when it became very obvious that neither of us wanted to eat acorns we collected when all we had to do was turn back into ourselves and sneak back inside to get the blender and make ourselves some monkey chow milkshakes.  which also was going along pretty well til mom followed the extension cord on out to where we were making our milkshakes and then the jig was up.  and now not only do we have to rewrite our walrus report but we have to write teacher a note explaining why we missed school and also apologize for being so difficult (mom's words not ours because really, it was not so hard doing what we did).  oh, and some other stuff but i forget right now and i am sure mom will remind me.

anyhoo, in some ways i am glad we turned back into ourselves and will go back to school, because later that day, i ran into my friend preztel, and  he said that auditions for the glee club are going to start next week, which means really really need to put the pedal to the metal and work on my new routine. and order my tap shoes.

well diary, i guess that is all for now because me and duk duk have to go work on our walrus report. again.

toodleydoo!
b. :)

rideys with baxter: my new friend emil

Well hello everybuddy, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, continuing my in depth reporting today from under the superlatives tent here at the Wiener Dog Roast, where things are at the moment definitely slightly roasty because I am in the sun.  But do not worry, because as soon as dad puts me down, I will turn my bluetooth mic on again and we will see about interviewing a very special guest. Okay dad you can put me down now.









(Now, this fella here just won the prize for having traveled the longest distance to get here.  And judging by his mom and dad's super cool outfits or by the language I know I must use to talk to him, I think you might be able to tell where they came from. Okay,  I will ask him now if he has time for an interview, just like my teacher told us to say it in class)

His name is Emil and he came all the way from Germany, where his mom said dachshunds are actually not very popular at the moment. But at least you can find more standard sized ones there, which means I would not be the only little kielbasa in town if you know what I mean.

Unfortunately, Emil turned out to be a bit of a charmer with my mom, and although he was very friendly, I did not want mom to share any more of my delicious venison snackies with him and so I sort of had to put an end to our interview early...

Speaking of having to leave early, I have to run and explain to mom why there was an email from teacher talking about finding cardboard cutouts of me and duk duk at our school desks Friday afternoon. And why mom found star trek matinee movie ticket stubs in our backpacks. All I can say is, I hope our relationship with our wii this weekend will still be long and prosperous.  This is Baxter your roving rover reporter, wishing you a Stellar Saturday! :)

rideys with baxter: no no, thank You!

Hello! It's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you again from the Wiener Dog Festival while my mom is still scratchy scratchy.  As hard as it is for me to believe, here at the Wiener Dog Festival, I learned that some doxies do not like their tushies sniffed.

And some doxies, well they do not even like their brother's tushie to be sniffed. Even when you have his brother's permission.

Lucky for me, mom provided enough of a distraction that I could get the data I needed, and I even figured out a better way to collect it!

So with my newly invented stink trail survey technique, not only could I do my research in secret, but it also went a lot faster.





In fact, it was so fast, I even had time to share a little stink of my own, and I was in the perfect place where it could be enjoyed by all.

In my next post I will tell you about my very special new friend Emil, and a few more interesting from the Wiener Dog Roast .  This is Baxter your roving rover reporter,  wishing you a Foofieriffic Friday! :)

rideys with baxter: reporting tips, and the one that got away

Hello again my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, picking up from Tuesday's story here at the Wiener Dog Roast! Now, as you might recall,  my trip here was a stroke of some mighty good luck because I need to do some sniffing research for me and duk duk's next super secret project. And, as any good reporter will tell you, the key to a good story (or in my case, a good sniff) is all about getting a good tip.

Like this one, from my new friend here who was waiting in line for some super swell doggie ice cream.  Do not tell mom but I snitched a taste from a cup I found on the floor by the man who was drawing caricatures, and I must say, it was delicious!














Anyhoo, every good reporter also knows that patience is sometimes key.  Because once I was situated by the doors where my friend said there was some good sniffing, well wouldn't you know it, but by the time I got there,  I think everybuddy had been all sniffed out.  And everyone was on their way to browse and shop all the fine goodies inside.

Well,  except for a couple of fellas, who decided it not only would they shop inside, but also poop inside on the soft soft carpet.  I would have taken pictures of that for you but you already know how that goes.  But let me tell you, their poopie snakes were impressively massive.  Like, level three poopmaster black belt massive. With a nice woody top note, and cardamom and leather mid notes.  I could not tell you the dry down because unfortunately their mom and dad cleaned it all up before then.  But I bet it would have been fantastic, and its sillage very long lasting.

Some of the doxies I met were not quite ready to participate in my survey, which was just as well in retrospect,  since I might have caught some girl cooties and that would have totally thrown my nose off.

Not all the tushies I missed out on were girls though.  Well, for all I know this could have been a girl, but I still call this one, "The One That Got Away".  Something tells me that tushie would have smelled absolutely divine.

Tomorrow, I will report to you with more scenes from the Weenie Dog Roast.  If I do not find another nice patch of sun that is. But I will try my best not to. This is Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a Thoroughly Thuper Thursday!! :) 

rideys with baxter: eau de tushie

Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter. Through my super sleuthy scenting techniques, I've just discovered I am at a weenie dog festival and you know what that means...

let's hurry up and get there!

Now, as any of you who have attended a weenie dog festival might know, it is best to keep your paws free so you can be prepared for just about anything.  So today, I am going to put away my iphoney reporting gear and bring out my bluetooth mic.  Oh and I think I've run across my first interviewee for me and duk duk's super secret project...(fumble fumble) Okay I think I got this thing to work.  Please let me know if the volume is too high. 

Hee hee, one doxie tushie down, so many more to go.  Sometime soon I hope to tell you more about me and duk duk's super secret project, but in the meanwhile, tomorrow I will share more pictures and tales from my visit to the weenie dog festival.  And if you happen to have any questions about adopting this cute and friendly little fella (whose tushie smells fantastic by the way),  please contact the folks here  or visit their facebooky and tell them he was at the Weenie Roast and hopefully they can help get you connected.  This is Baxter your roving rover reporter, wishing you a totally tooteriffic Tuesday! :) :)

the tiger sleeps tonight :)

wow, duk duk, for a tiger he sure is friendly.  yeah,  i cannot  believe he does not have home yet either.  i guess that is why he let us catch him.  tigers are usually pretty tricky when they are not eating their frosty flakes.  it is too bad we are going to have to untie him and let him go.  mom said we already foofie too much and unless mister tiger starts to learn english and eats less meat and more grain, well, let's just say every day is going to be stinko de mayo around here and we already have to beg mom just to celebrate it one day a -

...year.  but..tee hee, that tickles a little! well, i suppose we could ask her anyway and maybe he could come to school with us to learn non-foofieous forms of communication..oooh dat's nice...
(bup fweet buh squeeEEEeeeEEEEE)..and maybe if we promise mom to always do our chores without being reminded, and that  we will not play guess whose foofie inside anymore...

only, there is already a mister tiger at school.  we probably need to find u a new name...

 oh i know! (mister tiger, floot ploopy pssssssseeeoooo pip foofa foof eeeeooop. buh blap blappy puht puht , lulu?) 

hee hee, he said it would be an honor!  okay, lulu the tiger, not only are you our new friend, but every time we say your name,  we can also remember old ones too!  (blap blap buh squeeEEEEEEeeeEeeoo!)  ♥ :) :)

a lulu lookback :)

It has been a few years now since the little kielbasa and I started this blog.  As with so many things I never imagined would happen, I never imagined we would be here, mourning the passing and celebrating the life of a little friend whom we would not have met where it not for this world we created.  Today, just a few pictures of Lulu, some new, some old, but all I can assure you, cherished for the perfect foil to Baxter's unusual happy go lucky lifestyle, and for happiness and love she brought to us all. :)