my buddy lulu

dear diary,
u know how sometimes nuttin is happenin and then the next thing u know, everythin is happenin? well yesterday was one of those days, cuz looky - one minute i'm sleepin on the couch and the next thing i know, i'm walkin with my new buddy lulu at the park! lulu is really cool. she's got long flowy hair and is super nice, just like her mom. we walkied like a whole two miles and can u believe she even showed me her tummy? uh, lulu, that is. not her mom. just to be clear. cuz, i kinda hope we see each other again. uh,lulu. and her mom. but u know. lulu. hey did u know we both like food?

anyways, i'm so glad we got a chance to get together cuz maybe it means we can get together more! o kibble tree, hurry up n grow already so i can have my kibble tree party!!

toodles!
b.

my visit with lulu & happy 4th of july!

dear diary,
hooray! yesterday my friend lulu came to visit for the day and i got to show her all the favorite things i like to do in the summer, like sniff the morning air from my open window and eat my daily tomato and why, yes,  we even did a little pirate training.  well, okay it started off as pirate training but somehow it turned into a garden tea party.  which lil pink puppy n chocobot were all excited about but for me n duk duk, not so much if u know what i mean. but lulu was our guest so you know, instead of there being a lot of arrrrr mateys like i was hopin,  the conversation was all, wouldjoo like one lump or two, and, fiddle dee dee, weren't the monkey chow scones with clotted cream just deee-lightful? (okay, don't tell duk duk but yes they were and boy i hope lulu makes them again sometime. and no i do not need a sister or a girlfriend.)

anyhoo, diary, i am really glad i got to spend time with my friend lulu and i am also glad that today is the 4th of july because u know what that means - it's grillin time! and it means i must run and help my dad by licking stuff off the deck so sadly, i must now bid you a fond...

toodleydoo!
b. :)

p

lesson for a busy dachshund

dear diary,
even though i enjoy being an only dog, mom says it is good for me to hang around with other pups because i might learn a thing or two and boy was she right.  cuz, well, you see, the night before lulu's visit,  mom asked me n duk duk to tidy up the motel park n bark and put away our toys and stuff.  but since me n duk duk were busy cuz we wanted to finish playing on the wii and ended staying up til two in the morning, well, it kind of never happened.  and for the most part that was okay because well, u know, toyfriends can always be restuffed, butchoo see, i kinda sorta forgot to put something very important away.  and u can tell by my tail that this is the very moment when i realized my mistake.








yup, i forgot to put my antler away.  and u know, it was funny because i never really realized how much i really liked my antler until lulu found it on the floor and started eating it right in front of me.  and let me tell you diary, never did my antler ever look so tasty as it did when she was eating it.

 

and, as if i did not learn enough already yesterday just by watching lulu play with my antler, i learned thatchoo should never get too close to another somebody when they are eating an antler.  even if it is your antler and you forgot to put it away. 

sigh..sometimes i wish my lessons were not so hard to learn but mom says that is how u build character. i say, characters are for cartoons.

toodley-doo,
b. :)

ps - do not feel too badly for me or lulu bcuz after mom helped me hide my antler, we found mister turtle in the backyard and everybuddy forgot about that antler. well until now...mmmm antler...  :) :)

baxter n duk duk's motel park n bark: friday night's alright for foofieing

dear diary,
yippeee! well wouldn'tchoo know it, me n duk duk's  friday night dj disco party for our motel park n bark guests mario and lulu was a success - even though me n and duk duk never did settle on who was dj scratch munkey and who was dj skillit head (yeah, aren't our dj names even more rapsta doogan when u spell them that way? i just thought of that :) ). 

so mom finally shut down our party on account of all the foofie wafting upstairs which actually was good bcuz we were all really tired and so everybuddy slept on the sofa (except mario who slept on his own sofa in his bowl) til it was time to go upstairs at which point i showed lulu to her to the park n bark luxury guest chair bcuz she says with all her long hair she likes to sleep by herself without any covers or anything and then we all said goodnight. luckily, with no kissing involved. well, on me at least.  from lulu. but mom kissed everybuddy goodnight which i guess was okay.

anyhoo, i am sorry to say i think lulu and mario's stays will be ending sometime today but hopefully before they leave and if it is not too hot out, we can all go for peanut butter gelato, so although i am sad to see our guests leave,  i am very excited about that. :)

toodley-doo!
b. :)

etsy fresh: here's to another year of sharing and caring :)

 
Hey Baxter! Do u want to see our super cute new anniversary card for the kalyxcraftopia Etsy shop?

um, yeah sure mom, i got nuttin better to do i guess. 

I can't wait for you to see it - it's got you and your little friend Lulu on it!

hee hee, me and lulu, yeah right.  like that would ever make any...

mom? r u serious?  me and lulu?? lulu?? mom, it better not be some mushety mush mush mushy --

  (blink)..(blink)....gee mom it's cute n all but...

nooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo!

Hee hee, fresh to Etsy :) ---> happy couple doxie anniversary card

the front door

mom, what do u mean lulu is going home today?? lil pink puppy was going 2 take her to show n tell 2morrow and chocobot and she are going to play bridge with his friends on wednesday and duk duk n me already cast her in our next play as the amazing xena princess warrior and u know if she does not do it i will have to and we haven't even gone thru the chik-fil-a drive thru yet or anything!

wait...does this mean i do not have 2 share you or dad or my snackies anymore? bye bye lulu! mom says u were a wonderful guest. come again i had a great time and hope u did too! let me help u with your crate butchoo can totally leave your extra kibble if u want.  don't forget your blankie and be sure to blog me. bye bye! 

mom, can we snuggle on the sofa now, justchoo n me?  :)

- baxter, 4.8 years old,  suffering from singular sofa snuggle withdrawal and an apparent lapse in manners.  (hee hee -  lulu, u really were a sweet little houseguest! :) )

happy hallo-scary-ween :)

hee hee, thanks, chocobot, for taking care of yours and lulu the tiger's and lil pink puppy's halloween costumes. me and duk duk were so busy making ours, we did not have any time at all to work on stuff for the three of you. the toyfriend club scar on your cheek is a nice touch, by the way. 























and, it was pure genius to put lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy in one costume.  now we have room for even more candy in our wagon!

okay, duk duk since u are already dressed, u wait here with chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy while i get into my #topsecretSCARY costume, okay?

(zip snap shuffle shuffle zip snap swoosh zip)

you know, duk duk, i really like how everything turned out, but i sure wish mom would have let us make the teeth sharper and more scary spaced. i mean, how scary could that be, right? we have been scaring our friends all week with the pictures we posted on instagram and facebook and twitter.

(snap snap shimmy snap zip snap)

but, at least if nobuddy recognizes who we really are, then they can at least they think they know who we are, even though they would be really wrong.  

(bump clatter clatter)

whoops. uh oh, was that my mask?













..boy it better be okay. without my mask, i'm just a long dog in a nicely fitted, super plushie hoodied onesie with white fur on my...

 

...chest.

 whoa - did u guys just hear that?? i think i heard cassie.

no, false alarm. it was just the wind blowing a bunch of leaves.

okay, let me just get my mask on, and we finally can start trick or treating!! 

oh not again. yes mom?

 

pictures? again?? but mom, me and duk duk already posed for our halloween card, and our super cool wall poster, and even for next year's calendar. and we promised that we would try to put them in the shop for you by this Monday and send out a doot doot dooty doot and everything.  well for the poster and the calendars anyway because we sold out of the cards for now. so our friends can see us in our full glory there,  and besides they will see us live any minute now when we knock on their door for tricks and treats. 

so, like, do we have to?





















okay, make a hole everybuddy. we need to make this quick so everybuddy keep their eyes open, mouths closed, and save the funny faces for after we bring back our candy haul.

phew, the inside of this mask smells like desperation and rancid gummy worms! duk duk - did you do this?? 

hee hee, why thank you my friend. it most certainly will help me get into character.  which i am guessing hardly anybuddy will guess even with u standing next to me and u are like the main character. oh, okay mom's ready, so on the count of three everybuddy..one..two..three...

trick or treeeeat! :)

(hee hee, ps if  did not get one because we sold out, here is a peek at our halloween card.  and do not worry if u missed out, it will be back in the shop again :) )

baxter and duk duk's nitey nite bedtime tales: dedicated to lulu, the little kielbasa helps a bunny (part 4)

Before our story begins tonight, me and duk duk just wanted to say that tonight's story is dedicated to the memory our friend Lulu, who passed away today without our even being able to say good nitey nite one last time.  Until we can say hello again, good friend, know that we will miss you very much, and that you can watch from above all the secret toyfriend clubs u want, without even having to stand over there.   ♥

(sniffle sniffle).  Okay,  on with our story...

"Strik's in trouble, Pussycat!" barked the Little Kielbasa. "He is trapped with his cousins inside their cage and if he does not get out soon, our pancake and salad party will totally not be happening. Please come with me to Farmer Wells's farm!! Oh, and bring your gas mask, because the air is pretty thick if u know what I mean."












Ooooh look at that, duk duk! Pussycat's got some skills.  If he were real I think we would totally offer him some gummy worms to help us get into the pantry so we can get more gummy worms! Oh, okay, so on with the story...

Pussycat elegantly opened the cage, striking a pose so the Little Kielbasa could take a picture with a camera that made a klink sound when he pressed the button.  Strik the bunny hopped out, happy until  he looked down at his paw watch and saw that now the big hand was on the eleven and the little hand on the five.  "Well, Little Kielbasa, there are only five minutes left until Bugs Bunny is on. How bout we go down to the lake and do a few cannonballs instead?" "Sure, Strik, and maybe while we are down there I can show you how to make underwater bubbles!"  The End!

Well boys and girls, I am sorry but that is the end of our bedtime story.  I hope you enjoyed hearing it as much as we enjoyed reading it.  Good night my friends, and to Lulu and her mom. :)

gift rapt

Although here in mom and dad's world  I seem to be getting at times the rapt attention of a very different and much older boy and girl, it would be nice to be in two places at once, so that I could also spend some happy go lucky time in my home world, and feel the rapt attention offered by the rumbly tummies of  a certain little furry boy and his little guest friend lulu.

hee hee mom, it is not the same without u here at the motel park n bark! maybe next time u leave and my guest lulu checks in, u can also leave a giant pile of snackies and me and lulu can skype train with them!! :)

appyhpoopay nicornupoopay preciationappoopay aydpoopay :)

hee hee, yeppies, duk duk, i will miss them all too. but at least they are all going to very good homes and this way we can really focus on what's really important today and celebrate in style.

oh u r right. mom will be here any minute. i think we better call in the big guns if we are ever gonna get finished tearing down our booth so we can get to the store and spend all the money we earned on u know what for u know who today.  

hee hee, yeah i know he still has not figured it out. if it's not about princesses or rainbows or medieval cartography or interdimensional time travel, unicorns can be so clueless.  okay okay hang on he's finally here...

smello chocobot! i hope princess prettypink is recovering from her umpteenth bout with cooties. okay hey, lil pink puppy and lulu the tiger, clear the blast zone!


(bwoooop pinggg!)


oh yes, nice job chocobot. one of these days u r gonna need 2 remind me why that does not work in our heat cave or on any of the areas specified on our chores list. 

o i think i hear mom coming.  now remember, lil pink puppy, ixnpoopay outabpoopay ethpoopay
artyppoopay orfpoopay ocobotchpoopay ndapoopay eepkpoopay imhpoopay usybpoopay tilunpoopay ewpoopay etgpoopay ackbpoopay romfpoopay ichaelsmpoopay ithwpoopay apoopay arcpoopay ullfpoopay fopoopay itterglpoopay.

hee hee, okay mom,  me and duk duk are ready for u to take us to the nowhere special store now.  chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy are going to stay here and help wrap orders. :)

etsy fresh: some super cool new cards

Hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter.  Today I'm going to tell you about one the new cards I just put in my mom's etsy shop, because, well, mom said I cannot tell you about me and duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy's friday night stinkapolooza until after the stink is gone from the family room carpet.  Which might be a while, because it was that kind of super stink. And I can only tell you about one card because that is all I have time for.  On account of the stink abatement protocols, which went into effect at 19:00 hours yesterday night.  Because of stinkapalooza.

Anyhoo, this is my super cool new congratulations card, which has a very special surprise in it.  I will not spoil it here but if you clicky clicky here you can see the listing and see for yourself what's inside.  Needless to say, this would be a super card for, you know, times when u want to help someone celebrate an achievement, like, graduating from school, or saving up enough gummy worms to buy a new pedal car, or maybe they asked a special girl to stand over there and she said yes. Or maybe they got accepted into the secret stink society, or, they finally wrote their report on walruses! Or, maybe your friend got a promotion at work, or maybe they won the guess whose foofie super nationals, or well, u know, stuff.  Like how maybe me and duk duk and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy finally got the stink our of our family room carpet.  Which will be an incredible accomplishment indeed.

My name is Baxter your roving rover reporter, wishing you the superest of Saturdays! 


ps - if you would like to see the other new cards in my shop, u can click here on any of the following linky links: anniversary card, unicorn appreciation day friendship card, and my hello friend postcard (which is not new but never before really offered for sale because I have been including them with orders, but some friends have been asking for me to offer it so they could buy more and so there u have it! ) .  okay, time to get back to stink abatement duties.  toodleydoo! :)

tiny visitor

Two little kielbasas frolicked in our house yesterday afternoon, goofing about and getting plenty of snackies and catching up as only little dachshunds do, til finally both were tuckered out and it was time for Baxter's little friend Lulu and her mom to go home. 

goodbye lulu but not for lo-ooong! i cannot wait til u come back next month to spend a few days with us and if u cannot wait either u are always welcome to spend the day with me and we can drink monkey chow milkshakes and play on the wii with duk duk n lil pink puppy n chocobot! :) :)

happy hello ween :)

well, i know sewing pleather and sewing tiny are really difficult, mom, but i am really disappointed. because yesterday u said that they were all done, which i took 2 mean obviously that they were ALL done, including chocobot's and lulu the tiger's and lil pink puppy's costumes, because basically they are just the same as mine, only different shaped and sized. i even had your status down as green in our project master file report as little as three hours ago.but  now here are at t minus twenty4 hours about to start our dry run with the little misses, and Project OompaWonkaWinked is totally in deep poopies. which, on any other day would be just fine because, well, u know, poopies.  but we are talking candy here, mom, candy, and the one opportunity a year to get lots of it for free. 

okay, so, our scientifically optimized trick or treat schedule requires us to be at house number one by five pm, so with travel and snackie time, plus a little foofie factor thrown in for good measure, the new and final costume dropsqueak deadline is three pm.

well, we've got a dry run and u have work to do, so i won't keep u any longer, mom. and i would like to thank u for your time and contribution to Project OoompaWonkaWinked thus far.  bye mom, we'll see u after the dry run.

 




hee hee, finally, a use for all that mumbo jumbo speak i always hear dad using on his work calls.  u don't think i was too hard on her, do u, duk duk?  yeah, u r right, there is no room for babies in project OWW.

okay, so, when we go to the little misses house, remember, duk duk, since u won the guess whose foofie game, u are U Know Who.  and that means u have to do all the talking - candy recall, effective immediately, but this time instead of blueberries, it turns people into falcons, or wolves, or tigers, yadda yadda yadda.  u can improvise a little to keep it from sounding too scripted, but stay in character and remember to work with what we have. main message is, candy defective, sincere apologies, we are here to take it back 4 u and my very cute and diminutive u know whats will gladly help u.  what u say will be very important because i think on my own people will look at me and be like, who's the witch wearing the shiny hurricanes onesie? (siri, research note to self: does tim burton like hockey?)

now, the plan is for the rest of us to be quiet and just collect the candy, but if prompted, we have 2 be ready to sing and dance.  lulu the tiger and chocobot, have u both been eating chocobot's special glitter this week and practicing the helium foofie?  good. 

 well, alrighty then, i think we're ready to start this dry run.  all together on three.  one. two. three...

good morning starshine, the earth says hello! :)

 

 

i bark, u bark, we all bark for gelato!

dear diary,
hooray! both our guests here at the motel park n bark decided to stay for an extra night so to celebrate, yesterday mom n dad too me n lulu to get k9 krunchy peanut butter gelato while mario hung out at home with duk duk and chocobot and lil pink puppy to play twenty thousand foofies under the sea.  and i have to say, even though i had to share my snoozer with a girl, i think i totally got the better end of the deal bcuz not only did i get peanut butter gelato, but i actually got to eat the whole thing! and me and lulu each got our own cups so there was no chance for, u know, that lady n the tramp spaghetti kissing stuff to happen (although our cups did touch once or twice but if u tell duk duk that i will so pound u, diary, so please, let's just keep that between u and me, okay?)

anyhoo, today i am not sure what we will be doing to entertain our guests but hopefully it will involve snackies and foofies and yes, at least a poopie snake or five or twelve or infinity so!

toodley-doo!
b. :)

today i am sixteen :)

hee hee o m g! 

my birthday crown is even better than i imagined! it is so incredibly ferocious! i am sure mom will not mind if a wolf tries it on before everybuddy gets here. 



hee hee, hey look at me i’m king of the wol - wait nope nopies nope abort abort!  



mom, i regret to inform you that physics of ferociousness are such that it will be impossible for me to wear this lovely crown u made without putting the universe at great risk. the combination of two extreme powers of ferociousness that u see before you are not simply additive, they are logarithmically exponential.  i wore the crown for like two seconds and already i could feel the fabric of the universe tearing.  maybe if we hurry, we could go with a plan b for my birthday picture , u know, with me just being here next to it. although, a wolf cannot guarantee anything because he has already been standing next to it for all this time. 

well, i might be able to channel some of the ferociousness to my funny bone but even then i am just not sure we can get the results we r … rawwr … the results we r .. hee hee phoowee… rawwr… the results we r looking… 

..for.   um, maybe we should just skip to the part where we bring out my meat cake?  i will wait here. gee, i wonder what is taking duk duk and  chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy so long. they should be here by now.



hee hee ooOOOOooooOOOoooo!  now that’s what i’m talking about. . 



sixteen carrot candles on a meat cake bigger than my head! and all my favorite fruits! wait’ll duk duk and chocobot and lulu the tiger and lil pink puppy see  - 




hey hey! where did everybuddy come from so fast?? 




hee hee, just remember, no touchies just lookies… boy, if only dad was as fast as u guys are when the cake comes out. o wait i think i finally hear him! 




hee hee , happy birthday 2 me! :)