etsy fresh: u know, for mom and dad, and like for anybuddy who was ever born

Let me start by saying the obvious. tiny chumley and I should be doing our taxes.  Which is precisely why we did everything in our power not to yesterday.   Laundry was folded, flowers picked, celebrity gossip googled, the floor swept, holes dug, paws washed, naps under down blankies taken, and a rather lengthy blog post on baxter's adoption was started then tabled because it was time to start thinking about dinner and how it probably would somehow be better if we ate out because of all the things I did think about, defrosting something and then preparing it for dinner was not one of them.  And yippee -  we even loaded some happy new little doxie cards to the etsy shop, which proves that there really is a pot of cuteness gold at the end of every procrastination rainbow.

Next week we'll really hunker down and do those taxes, but for now, happy shopping and happy thursday, my friends! :)

https://www.etsy.com/shop/kalyxcraftopia

gettin diggy wit it

hee hee, well, mom, now that the daffodils we planted in my holes from last fall are up, i can see now i need 2 make a few more holes.  just so, u know, things will look a little fuller come next spring.  call me when lunchy lunch is ready, ok?  :)

fun for a dog and a duk

well I'll be...

...i guess u r right, dukduk...

poopie snakes do not slink down the stairs after all.

this is a hypoopbole :)

hee hee, I once made a poopie snake...(okay now, madwilly!)

thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis big!! :)

happy st Patrick's day by Baxter and duk duk

well, mom, because a) i am little like a leprechaun, b) i am wearing green, c)  me and duk duk could not find any clovers and d) who needs real gold when u can make your own pure comedy gold? :).  #happyStPooptricksDay

little souvenir

Sometimes when your tiny boyfriend cannot go to the beach with you, you bring the beach back home to him. :) 

oooOOOooOOooOooo! mom, didjoo smell it? it totally smells like the ocean foofied!! :) :) 

meanwhile back in middle hyuk...

yes dad, I know mom will b home tomorrow and I promise I will come up to bed after I tell my niteynite joke. i will only be just a second...

okay, why did the pink manatee cross the road? 

to poop on the other side!

ahaha hyuk hyuk hyuk!!!

nitey nite my friends :)

poopiesmell island

dear diary,
although me and duk duk's stowaway spring break vacation to the beach with mom and madwilly was very short and now we will be on our way home shortly, at least it was very long in memories. i hope one day me and duk duk can pedal back 2 this beach for real, maybe inside a giant hamster ball because a) there were big dogs  b) we could walk on the water and float around c) me and duk duk could have a picnic inside and not worry about getting sand all over our gummy worms liek we did this time, and d) we would be protected from the eagles and ospreys that seem to like lurking about.  oh and the hamster ball would need an ez access panel bc i found out some people bait their crab traps with pig bones and the bones wash up to shore from time to time.  i am pretty sure the bones would be delicious because toy me saw a big dog snitch one while on a beach walkie and he was very disappointed that his mom told him he had to drop it.

anyhoo, before we leave the beach completely, me and duk duk hope 2 sneak off to the souvenir store today and get some saltwater taffy and some shark teeth and maybe if we are lucky, some sea glitter and manatee poop in a bottle for everybuddy back home.  and then we will be back on the road so be sure to check our instygram and facebooky  because i am pretty sure the drive back will be especially boring, especially since we will be packed in mom's canvas tote again since somedukkie forgot to pack our magic transformation potion. which is probably just as well because we are really hoping to be packed next to the stinky shell bucket.

toodleydoo!
b. :)

little stowaways

hee hee, duk duk, it was pure genius to transform ourselves into tiny toys so we could stow away with mom and madwilly on their vacation to the beach. who needs 2 make up snow days on your spring break when u can play in the sand, right?

u don't think mom will notice if we eat the sandwiches she packed, do u? :) :)

always b prepared, especially for a monday :)

dear diary,
although there are many things I learned while I was in the pupscouts, one of the things that i try 2 practice every day is to always be prepared, especially for a monday. i hope u r prepared, too.

toodleydoo!
b :)

fun for a boy or a girl: ezpz doxie sleeve sweater makey project numero dos

Why hello my friends, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, reporting to you today about a very special and ez pz weekend project.  You see, even though winter will be over in no time, it still seems spring is pretty far away. And if where you live is as cold as it has been here, then u just might want 2 try this too.  Because today's project is the ez pz sweater numero dos.  To do this project, all u really need is a sleeve from a very nice and soft cashmere or merino wool sweater that u can get for just a few gummy worms at the thrift store.  Make sure the sweater has a sleeve that is long enough and wide enough to fit your sausagey body.

Now, u can measure to make things more exact but if u want to spend more time playing on your wii and less time, u know, measuring and stuff, u can do like me and mom did and just eyeball everything.  Cut the sleeve longer than u need, and, with help from your mom, stuff yourself into the sleeve and have her mark where the arm slits should be with a sharpie.  Take off the sweater and cut the slits, then retry on the sweater. Mark the length of the sweater u want, cut that, and voila. 

For this particular sweater, the knit sleeve binding was a little tight on my neck meat, so we cut down the seam and looky, the binding turned into a really cute collar. 

And that's pretty much it, eyeball, fit, snip snap and you're done!  But, say if u want to go the extra mile..











Here is what me and my mom did with my friend Hank's turtleneck sweater.  It's like mine only the edges are finished with doublefold bias binding. 
   

And the best part about this project? If u mess up, u still have one sleeve left to work with AND u have enough sweater to make the original ez pz tube sweater I reported about this same time last year! So really how can u go wrong? 

Anyhoo, I would give u more details but I sort of ran out of time bc I am helping mom pack for one of her adventures and so if u have any questions please feel free to comment and I will try to answer them as best I can while she is gone.  This is Baxter your roving reporter wishing you a very happy makey weekend! :)

meet me at the end of the nile

 
sigh. well, duk duk, i guess we better tell chocobot n lulu the tiger n lil pink puppy 2 get ready. today is going 2 be another school day after all. 
 

backseat eater

(ngarrrgharrr) chuck that burnt frenchy fry back here, mom, i am not a picky dog! :)

someone 2 lookup 2

Just like the middle child whose older sibling has moved on to college, Baxter now seems to find himself the big wolf among his circle of neighborhood puppy friends.  It's a role I think he accepts with a begrudging mixture of glee, denial, and impatience.... :) 












whoa whoa! okay cassie i will show u how 2 do it right but u have GOT 2 stand over there, no exceptions.







 


 





more...more..more..okay that's good.

okay so. three things.  one - all legs firm on the ground like this. but that does not mean u cannot b creative. for special angles or to achieve shading effects, u might try putting a paw on a rock or a tree root, or even a turtle if u r lucky enough to find one this time of year. 

 two - lean in.  if u r in it 2 win it then u must take your time and if u have to take your time then u must get comfortable. otherwise it's just dribbles everywhere. 

three -  i sort of mentioned it in two but it deserves its own talking point.  take your time. don't just pee it all out as fast as u can because then u just melt a hole in the snow.  

okay that's all i've got time 4 because i told duk duk we would meet him by the frozen creek so, yeah, good luck with all that and please tell little miss julia i hope her leg feels better.  

bye little miss sarah!

doop bee doo, doop bee doo, doop bee doo...yep this weather sure is exhilarating! i can see why a ferocious wolf likes to walk in this stuff.  so fluffy and white and minty fresh! i mean, if cassie can do it, then i sure can cuz i even have a coat. i mean, it's not blue puffy jacket like dad's but still, i have my sweater and my  fur and yep, yessiree, walking in this snow sure is fun. i could do it, like, all day lo- what? gone? r u sure sure mom?

 last one home is a rotten poopie snake!! :) :)

 

the amarillo express

hurry up, dad, it's time 2 make some yellow snow! :) :)

me and dad, and puffy jacket makes three

dad, next winter, do u think I could get a puffy jacket, too? :)

thursday was another snow day :)

hee hee now remember, mom, our foothold in the north is severely threatened by the early onset of winter. our men have only three weeks rations and a raven from castle black has indicated trouble is coming from beyond the wall.  our negotiations with little miss julia targaryen are critical and the utmost of secrecy and privacy must be upheld here in our camp. no one must know she is talking with us.

 oo, i think she is here.  will you please show her to the lovely heat cave we just finished for her,  whilst duk duk and i finish our nice cup of hot monkey chow cider? i will be along in just a minute...

mmm that's good chow...

 

 


















remember, mom, do not under any circumstances listen in on our conversation.  the fate of two houses depends on the success of our negotiations.
 












...hee hee hee! no hit the right button and then hit the left button and..jump! juuuuump! ooo now dash..nice! oh u missed the golden ring but that's okay the giant should be along any minute and if u dash him u get like way more tear drops than...eeek - no, u fly by holding down on the jump button until u -
 

ummm, well mom, we plan 2 start our negotiations like, after we earn enough teardrops to buy the pink robot unicon attack armor.   does she really have to go home now?  :) 

baxter and duk duk's super short stories: The Winter Wolf

The ferocious wolf sauntered across the icy plain, oblivious to the chill and crunch of the snow that had fallen the night before. Not much snow had really fallen, he realized, but he knew it was enough.  The yellow snow he made earlier that morning assured him of that.  He quietly chuckled as he delighted in the memory what he and his duk friend were able to write in the snow, all while keeping his wolfy nose and super spidey senses focused on the task at hand.  Rabbits were always easier to track after snowfall.  Tonight,  there would be rabbit stew. :)

cloudy with a chance of snow

...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope..nope...nope..nope..nope...
nope...nope... o there i see one! aw nopies just a feather...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope
...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...o maybe!. rats nope just some dryer lint..nope...nope...nope...nope..nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope....nope...nope...
nope...nope....nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope...nope.........

a dog and a duk walk into their school to hand out their homemade valentines...

 

hee hee, it sure was a good idea to make our own valentines this year, dontchoo think, duk duk?








 

i mean, sure it took us a lot of time to  think of what to say,  and then it took us forever to design them on the computer...

and here it is early friday morning and we are still trying to finish them up. but  a) everybuddy's who's anybuddy's bound to agree they're comedy gold, b) this year at school, we can finally give something back to all the mushy cootie contaminated girls at school, and c) we can also remind said girls about what is most important about valentine's day too.  espcially since mom will not let us bring our cootie fallout shelter 2 school. it's a win win win really, dontchoo think, duk duk?












 and,  what with us using all the right pleases and thank yous and all, well, surely we will not get in trouble with teacher for handing them out. if there is anything at all i have learned from watching house of cards, it's that manners are everything when u have something important 2 say.  anyhow, i think this was the last valentiney to cut so..

duk duk, u finish punching all the lacy stuff around the edges...

and i will start coloring all the... oh snap, is that the time i think it is? quick u get everything together and tell chocobot n lulu the tiger n lil pink puppy to be ready in three and i will....moooooooooom!

mom, sorry 2 use my outside voice but may we please have a ride to school today so we can finish our valentineys in the car?  :) :)