little pirates

 

hee hee, thank you mom for helping us with our classifed ad. and we promise if u do this we will not speak like pirates in school today, even if it is talk like a pirate day.  okay are you ready?

"wanted: one used pirate ship. seaworthy. large enough for a dog and a duk and a unicorn and a little pink puppy.  and an impressive poopie snake collection.  black skull and crossbone flag optional but preferred.  serious inquiries only.  willing to pay in gummy worms or monkey chow, or trade for partially built rocket ship and/or trebuchet. "

that's it! yippee - o i cannot wait to come home from school today and see how many responses we get. i bet it will be at least a gazillion, dontchoo think, mom? arrrrrrh, arrrrrrrh!

ooh mom, duk duk says he wants a cracker. may we both have one, piratey piratey please?  :) :)

dapper doxie duds: ready, set, vrooom!

Why hello, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter, earning my kibble today in super easy fashion because I'm here to talk to you about the duds my mom made for Rocky and Penny, who happen to be a lot smaller than me and so I can only barely model Penny's dud and that was with a lot of hwoopin to suck in my tummy if you know what I mean and so mom said I could just write my report and still earn my snackies.

So enough about me, about bout those duds? You see, Rocky and Penny are planning to go to the dachshund races and of course they needed super cool sporty duds with a winning edge, right?  You know, the kind with a swooshy champion nascar checkerboard flag print, edged in safety reflective piping and maybe a menacing skull patch with some flames, just to you know, intimidate the competition? Yup, that would be Rocky's dud I'm talking about and here it is!

Now say you're a girl and you still want to be just as intimidating but you still want to be cute when u make it into the winner's circle?  Well, if you are Penny, maybe you would wear a similarly swooshy styled dud as Rocky's, but, with say kawaii cute skeleton kitty patch with a heart on it on the outside and a pretty rose print inside.  Cuz that would be so cool and yet so scary, right? :)

Anyhoo, I hope u liked seeing the duds my mom made for Rocky and Penny and I am trying hard not to be so envious that Rocky n Penny get to go to the dachshund races this year.  Although mom reminded me that I did not exactly know what to do when I had a chance to practice for a different race a few years ago.  Hee hee, if I ever get to go, I guess I really need to practice knowing which way to run. 

This is Baxter your roving rover reporter, wishing Rocky and Penny good luck, hello to Bogey and Remy (whose mom runs the race!) and everybuddy else a super duper Saturday!! :)

treasure chest

oh pleeeze can i wear it?  me n duk duk already told everybuddy at school that we found a magic hair portion while pirating the seven seas this past summer and u know i have been wanting long hair like forever now and today we are taking school pictures and everything! :) :)

i see tushie people

Most people look up to see faces in clouds, while others lucky enough to own a dachshund,  can find them closer by.

heeeeey...okay mom i see your point.  ooo - does this mean we get snackies at both ends now?? :)

baxter and duk duk's motel park n bark complimentary dinner theater: captain arrr-eo and princess poopiet

okay mario, we will be right back! me n our other guest lulu, whom u have already met from last time you stayed at the motel park n bark, just have to put on our costumes and the worldwide premiere of me n duk duk's new play, "the pirate, the princess, the dragon, and plenty of snackies - a play in three courses as told by one very awesome and very hungry pirate", will begin in five minutes! in the meanwhile, please enjoy this bugs bunny cartoon that we will play for u on the ipad and if duk duk can get u a pre-play apooperitif or some fancy cheezy poof n salmon kibble poop d'ouvres, just let him know, okay?? okay, we will be right back. 

oh, and hee hee, do not poop anywhere i would not poop! which u know, really means u can poop practically anywhere here at the motel park n bark, especially when it is wet outside.  although, i see you would be pooping in your own bowl  of water so maybe that is not the best idea if u want to see our play clearly.  so maybe if i were u i would hold it.  or skip the cheezy poof n salmon kibble poop d-ouvres, cuz, they're tasty going in thru the front but mighty wicked on the back end if u know what i mean.   

okay,  c u in a few minutes!!

say what? but lulu,  what do u mean u do not want to be the princess in our premier pirate princess dragon and plenty of snackies play for mario?  i am supposed to be the pirate because i am a boy and i have way more experience.  well, okay, i would have more experience f it wasn't so hot this summer and mom would not let me n duk duk go pirate the seven seas.  and besides, we just told our very important guest that our play will be on in five minutes and this is the world wide premiere and everyone knows princesses are always girls and ... oh pleeeeeze play the princess, wontchoo? just look at all the wonderful things chocobot and lil pink puppy made for the princess to wear!

sigh. okay, u r the guest and the show must go on. let's get dressed and go see mario...

"but soft, what stink thru yonder window wafts? it is my poop, and this hungry pirate has come to take me and my dragon away..."  :)

born me

hee hee hee. keeping him alert while he searches for delicious poopie pythons, the magnificent mighty lion's senses tingle while he forages in the african forest.  silence surrounds him. too silent, he thinks. he pauses to sniff the air. something's not quite right. 

rrrrrRRRRARWwwwwrrr! 

who dares to challenge this magnificent and mighty lion's authority by interrupting him during his lunch time hunt?

(blink.)

(blink blink)


hey where did everybuddy - are the cameras still rolling?  duk duk?? is that real lunch i smell?? how come nobuddy ever tells me these things??

 o there he is! hee hee - hey, duk duk! yeah i see u.  there better be some lunch left for me by the time i get up there or i'll pound that leopard skin right off u, tarzan boy!! :)

dapper doxie duds: happy bunnies

 




but mom, what do u mean i cannot model gabriella's happy new dud for pictures?  i see that it is a little small but i think i can manage. watch... 

(fumble) (fumble fumble)

 

mom i know we are losing daylight 

but do not worry i will have this on in a jiffy.

(fumble)

(fumble fumble)

 okay, almos..

(hwwwwwwuuuuuuuuuuup!)

 






  
ok..(hwuuuuup!)   i cannot... (hwuuuuup!) 
i cannot do this for very..(hwuuuuuuup!)

mom hur..(hwuuuuup!)   mom hurr..(hwuuuuuup!) 

(hwuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!)  hurreee!!

 hee hee, mom i toldjoo i could do it.  i hope u like your new happy bunny harness gabriella!! :) :)

dukkie and the tramp

hee hee hee. okay duk duk, i will play tramp this time butchoo totally need to help me find a moustache comb otherwise when it comes time to do the sphaghetti scene i will not be able to eat it much less see it. :)

study buddies

dear diary,
as u might imagine i have tons of school work to catch up on from having been in the pokey so long and mom said if i do not start it soon then i might have to go to summer school which would really be da pits bcuz me and duk duk have already decided that once we earn enough gummy worms to buy our pirate ship which could be any day now we would spend all summer pirating the seven seas in search of the fabled lost treasure of princess petunia of poopythia.  so needless 2 say yesterday i started on my studies and duk duk even helped me with as much as he could remember before he fell asleep in class.  which as it turns out was quite a lot bcuz really he could not help me much at all with my astrometabiology homework but lucky for us we are only taking that class pass fail. 

anyhoo, as u can see by the stack of my books, i will be very busy this week so if you would please help me out by letting me know what's going on with the wonder pets and scooby doo i would really appreciate it bcuz i do not think i will be able to watch tv much at all this week and even though scooby doo still stinks at solving real mysteries, he still manages to solve them on television and  now i am wondering if the secret to scooby doo's powers lie with his scooby snacks and if so maybe i should ask mom to get me some so i can power thru my schoolwork.

toodleydoo!
b. :)

dapper doxie duds: rocky & penny's mad men sunday picnic in the park

Did you ever wonder what dachshunds wore for duds back in the Mad Men days when even casual wear seemed, well, dressy?  Did boy doxies walk in the park dressed like their dads in a bowling shirt  or a camp shirt made of comfy double mercerized cotton with a contrast textured woven panel inset?  Did little girl doxies go to their picnics dressed like Betty Draper wearing duds that had a seamed and fitted bodice and removable flare skirt,  done up in a lovely shell pink cotton and embellished with layers of pretty picot edge and floral jacquard ribbons, and made even happier with a row of cheery pearlescent flower buttons along the spine? 

Sadly, I suppose the answer is no.  But lucky for Baxter's modern day friends Rocky and Penny, they won't have to wonder at all what it's like to go for a picnic in the park dressed as little men and ladies want to be dressed.  Happy Friday friends!! :)

wait wait wait - did i just hear...?  mom! wait - don't say goodbye just yet!!  hang on...

  okay where's the picnic? :)

duk and daffodil

shhhhhh, be vewy quiet...Operation Duk and Daffodil is now under way and we are expecting the easter bunny to arrive at any moment!!

 

- baxter, 5.25 years old, first class junior grade unicorn commando attack force chipscout, primed and ready to execute Operation Duk and Daffodil, a top secret ops mission that he and f.c.j.g.u.c.a.f.c duk duk devised wherein f.c.j.g.u.c.a.f.c duk duk - codename  "yellow bunny" -  uses the lovely tea party that they've set up to engage and distract the easter bunny long enough for f.c.j.g.u.c.a.f.c baxter - codename "the daffodil" - to sneak past the otherwise occupied easter bunny and his forces to covertly access the easter bunny's basket caravan and secure the easter bunny's spiced jelly bean reserve (bcuz nobuddy likes spiced jelly beans) so that they - yellow bunny and daffodil - can take the surplus yucky jelly beans to the candy store and trade them in for delicious gummy worms which they then intend to split 55-45, or 45-55, depending on who u talk to about whose job is harder.


Hee hee, Happy Easter!! :)

poopship troopers

dear diary,
yippee!! me n duk duk's chipscout badges finally arrived yesterday and so mom put mine on my uniform and looky! yep, my official chipscout outfit is now complete!! and once i am out of the pokey, everybuddy will know that i am part of troop number 238, special attack force stealth commando unicorn squadron.  and that i earned a level 1 in swimming  and that i earned my mountain camping badge and that i earned the most coveted badge of all, the golden poopie boulder badge - in recognition of outstanding effort and achievement in the field of, yeah u guessed it, pooping!  and as a matter of fact, the only thing missing from this picture besides my neckerchief and neckerchief slide is the emergency snackie snack that every chipscout carries in their emergency snackie snack pocket.  And that is only because since my meals have been cut back because I cannot go walkies and I am in the pokey, well u know my tummy delared an emergency. so let's just say there was a emergency snack attack earlier if u know what i mean.

anyhoo, mom says i am only allowed to wear my uniform for a few minutes so i really must go now bcuz duk duk n lil pink puppy n chocobot are all due home from school any minute now as i write this and i want 2 make sure they know when they come up the driveway that they will be walking into the home of an official first class junior grade unicorn commando attack force chipscout. hee hee, i hope u r having as wonderful a day as i am!

toodley-doo!

b. :)

hello again :)

hee hee, i missed u too, my friends. :)

- baxter, 5.25 years old, overheard just after he and duk duk came back home from his and duk duk's spring break pupscout camping trip to foofie mountain.

dear diary,
yippee skippee me and duk duk are back from our spring break pupscout camping trip to foofie mountain and let me tell u, boy did we have fun.  though i am not so sure why people are always talkin about fresh mountain air cuz at least on foofie mountain, things started to smell a lot fresher once we made our descent back down the mountain and..wait, what's that on my head u ask?

u mean this ol thing??

hee hee, well diary - it's my new supercool scouting hat bcuz me n duk duk completed enough activities that we graduated from pupscouts and now we are first class junior chipscouts!!  i cannot wait to show you our complete new uniforms and the badges we earned but somedukkie forgot to pack them and now we have to wait for campmaster rick to send them to us.  but do not worry, when they come i will show them to you.

anyhoo, mom says i cannot stay too long on the computer bcuz i have to unpack and get ready for school plus i need to catch up with lil pink puppy n chocobot and see if they brought back the gummy souvenirs like me and duk duk asked them to from the candyland forest where chocobot's uncle pegasus lives but diary, i just wanted to say even though we had lots of fun, i missed u very much too and am glad to be back home and tomorrow i will talk to u again. and i hope your spring break was just as wonderful.

toodleydoo!

b:)

lucha love

 













"a good luchador is not only a fiercesome wrestler, but he is also kind and good and sharing of his love."  

- el salchicha, one thousand eight hundred and eighty eight days old, on wishing everybuddy a very happy valentine's day!! :)

iron ladydog

hee hee, no duk duk u can't come back up again cuz queen dukabeth already opened parliament and now it is margaret baxter's turn to address both houses of - ooo, wait. i think i hear mom coming.









um, sorry mom, me n duk duk forgot put penny's dud in the mailbox but we promise to do it 2morrow.   wouldjoo like some tea and biscuits  :) :)?
  

dapper doxie dud: the midnight sky

Hey everybuddy it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter reporting to you today about the goodies my mom finished yesterday for my friend Pinto. As u can see, Pinto is a very cool piebald and yeah u guessed it, he is actually close to my size, which is why I can actually model the dud my mom made for him.  I like to call this one the midnight sky, because the dyed corduroy my mom made and used reminds me of yeah u guessed it again, the midnight sky.  Only on this night the moon is full which is why you see glints of swirly lights and darks on the fabric and asymmetrical silk necktie embellishment  and of course, the vintage watch movement full moon!

Hee hee, oh yeah, did I also mention Pinto ordered up an Elmer Fudd Flapjack too? And yeah I can fit that too so here I am wearing it!  I am so very excited for Pinto because me n duk duk are going to take the pedal car today and drop it off at the post office and then he will have it in no time. 

Next up on the crafty list? My mom says the fabulous Penny's dud, and then after that she will be working on a ton of fit models so if u have been waiting patiently, thank u and know that I will be helping mom with everything these next couple to three weeks so stay tuned!

I am Baxter your roving rover reporter wishing you a very delightful and foofie filled Saturday!! :)

bye bye bling bling

dear diary,
well today mom says the tushie man will come and take my staple bling out and soon my tushie will look like this again, only i won't be wearing my snowsuit cuz boo hoo, it has not snowed here at all and it is starting 2 smell like spring

anyhoo, i will be sure to let u know how everything went but for now i must go and register the tinyduks in school so they can start learning and stop pooping in my water bowl.  (yeah, kona kinda warned me about that.)  i hope u r having a wonderful day!!

toodley-doo!!
b. :)

picture with santa

dear dairy,
so maybe u know by know that even though santa is really nice and gives me presents and everything, i sorta think he is also very scary to meet in person and so u know, besides mom not having a picture of me on santa's lap, most of my communication with him is by letter or email and for the past four years that has worked very well for me and for duk duk too.  but somebuddy at preschool told lil pink puppy about the santa's lap and picture thing and next thing i know,  lil pink puppy asked me n duk duk if we would take him to get a picture with mall santa.  needless 2 say it was a very big dilemma bcuz on the one paw i could tell lil pink puppy was really looking forward 2 it and on the other paw, i was really not looking forward it, and on the other back paws, duk duk and chocobot wanted 2 stay home and play on the wii.

but light bulb!  lucky for us i had a holiday hoodie that mom got on clearance last year and so while chocobot pretended to dial santa to come to our house for a cup of hot monkey chow milkshake (he had 2 pretend because he actually does have santa on speed dial but it is for emergencies only this time of year), i slipped into the hoodie while duk duk set up our picture with santa booth.  and since i did not have a beard and lil pink puppy might recognize me, why of course i slipped on my lucha mask.  because u know santa is a really good luchador, too,  right?  almost as good as me, only his performance is really encumbered by his red robe. which explains why duk duk beat m- uh, santa - in the post picture lucha lucha match. i'm just sayin.

anyhoo, our picture with santa booth was a hit and lil pink puppy got to tell santa everything he wanted for christmas  and we printed it out just like u would at a real mall and the best part? well of course the picture and the no scary santa thing, and the hot monkey chow milkshakes! :)

toodley-doo!
b. :)

woof mitzvah wooty booty

dear diary,
well what a difference a nap and time makes! as you already know my woof mitzvah party was a blast and even though i cannot tell you much about it, i wanted to share with you some of the swell things i got for my birthday.  here u can see me wearing some of my new wooty booty - mom n dad got me like three very nice walkies jackets and they are super cool bcuz they are the kind that cover my chest n tummy n stuff and they zip open and closed on the side for a snugger fit whichchoo know i need because i would just ensausage myself otherwise. yeah u might have already seen me in one of them from before my birthday.  but mom says it was cold so u know, i got to test it out and make sure it fit an all.  oh and as u can see i also got a very nice matching leather leash from the same place at made my woof mitzvah collar!  and, u will not see it 2day, but i got a special occasion artful collar that mom had made especially for me - it is very cool, trust me.  but i think she is right we need to save it for a special day and when u see it u will see why too.






anyhoo, just when i was thinkin that all i was getting was going to be all sorts of adulty wearable sort of stuff, duk duk n chocobot n lil pink puppy brought out their gift that they helped mom make,  and well, all i can say is i am still on cloud nine. cuz i may not have told u before but because i am the biggest when we all play cowboys n indian cops n robbers, i am always the horse and somebuddy is always riding my back.  always.  that is, up til now cuz looky!! nope, it's not a mirage, mom n duk duk n chocobot n lil pink pippu made me my very own super duper shiny brass sheriff's badge!! and yeah u know who's gonna be sheriff now...

go ahead. make my day, pardner.

hee hee hee. 

toodley-doo!
sheriff baxter and deputy chocobot :)

happy meal

Hee hee hee, some days it's all about the accidental ronald macdonald look,  and the little happy meal that loves me no matter what fashion mistakes I make. :)