Thursday, August 27, 2009

Day 137: List of the Missing Grows Amidst Discovery of Shocking Evidence




Shocking new photos submitted to The Smoking Tail by Mr Ropey Ramjet deepen the mystery surrounding the whereabouts and relationship between Baxter the Dachshund and his growing list of missing toyfriends, Duk Duk, Beaver, Hedgehog, and Cheetah. "I found these photos before I left and felt it was my duty to share them with the public," said the former toyfling, shown here with his face blacked out for security reasons.





"I mean, look at these pictures. Wings chewed off. Arms barely hanging on. Holes even."


"And poor Hedgehog with all his stuffin out and squeaker lyin on the floor and Baxter just lyin there. You decide for yourself what happened. Me? I got no tail. That's all I got to say."


What's really going on here? Could Baxter he responsible for Duk Duk's mauling earlier this year? Why aren't his toyfriends speaking on his behalf? Stay tuned as The Smoking Tail continues to follow this mystery and dig for the truth.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Being There

I am ashamed to admit how productively unproductive my life can be sometimes. Ask me what I did yesterday and my list of activities would seem impressively exhausting. Tended to my two gardens, pulled ripe fruits and veggies to sell and replanted my beds with seeds I had to go get from the garden center. Visited tons of friends and even went dancing with some of them. Hung out at the local cafe. Shopped for clothes. Went fishing. Installed a bathtub. Went for a run. Put new wallpaper up in my bedroom. Recarpeted the family room. Rearranged my entire house. Walked around my entire town not once but five times, shaking trees for much needed coinage. It's a wonder I have time to blog at all...Wait, shaking trees for coins? Yeah that's right, I did all these things online in Pet Society. I've fallen into a cyberhole and can't get up. Meet my new pet, Jenna. Another thing to take care of while not taking care of anything at all.



And so while the cupboards became barer and barer, while laundry piled up and calls went unreturned, while the cacophonous melodies of hammering and stomping serenaded me, I did everything and yet I did nothing yesterday. But fear not for the little kielbasa. Like every dachshund before him, Baxter has mastered the art of Being There, the subtle insertion of his little brown self in an activity for which he was originally not intended. Yesterday, as I tended to my growing cyber "duties", I typed away as I do now every day, with an eighteen pound hound who's decided his place is in my cushy human pillow of a lap. Hardly the best thing for circulation in my legs, but perfect, Baxter's decided, for his morning snooze.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

fiddling with my roof

dear diary,
well i guess the pupperazzi did catch me in the store after all and now my mom says i have to set the story straight before everything gets out of hand. but i don't even have hands so i don't know what she's talkin about. plus i was playin with Ropey today and he didn't even mention talkin to the press. what up wit dat?

anyway that whole pupperazzi thing has gotta wait cuz check this out - i'm all set to go on my morning walk yesterday and i find this in our driveway. then just as i turn the corner to finish my walk, i see my house and there's all these guys there with ladders. so i start barkin at them as soon as i see them, which is like a hundred feet away cause i want them to know that i'm on to them, ya know? anyway the whole day there was poundin and whackin and goodness knows what goin on outside cuz it sounded like they were walkin on my head. mom says they're roofers and i have to be nice to them cuz they're coming back today. all i want to know is, i wonder if they'll bring me a snack for being such a good boy.

well i guess i should go and think about what to do about this pupperazzi thing. i think i'll have to chew on it some more.

toodles,
b.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Caught AGAIN! Toyfriend or Toyfling??


Readers of The Smoking Tail know that it's no secret that Baxter the Dachshund and his pals, Duk Duk and Beaver, have not been seen together or heard from in months. But the real secret surrounds the whereabouts of Baxter's toyfriends and his suspected involvement in their disappearance. According to our sources, local residents have not seen or heard from Duk Duk or Beaver since Duk Duk's last interview with The Smoking Tail back in April. And now, recent photos captured by the pupperazzi shows Baxter the Dachshund wandering the aisles of a local pet store, apparently shopping for a new toy. Was Baxter shopping for a new toyFriend or a toyFling??



Mr. Ropey Ramjet claims it was he who was purchased that day and taken to Baxter's home, whereupon the new toy immediately suffered severe damage to his tail and squeaker. "I-I just don't understand who would do that to a friend," says Ramjet, "I mean you know he seemed really happy about it, too. And then next thing you know, he's off with his kong toy and I'm lyin on the floor with my tail in one hand and slobber all over me. Slobber! You know how many diseases I could catch from that? And how am I gonna get my tail back on? Nobody said anything about this back at the toy factory. Anyway don't get me wrong, it's every toy's dream to be chosen by his owner and I am grateful that Baxter chose me. But he hasn't played with me in a couple of days now and so a toy's gotta wonder, ya know? Am I his friend or am I just a fling? And yeah, Duk Duk and Beaver are nowhere to be seen."

What happened to Duk Duk and Beaver?? Is Baxter involved in a new committed toy relationship? Could Mr Ramjet the be the next to disappear? Stay tuned to future editions of The Smoking Tail, where we promise to uncover the truth.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

great moments in history and art

Ever since Lepidoxerology, I've been noodling about starting an occasional series for kalyxcornucopia featuring Baxter plopped into various images, but found a ton of excuses not to mess with it just yet. Should the series have an overarching theme like great moments in history? Maybe do a where's waldo in art? Can my eyeballs and fingers hold out with all that crop work? Nothing really came to mind that motivated me to invest energy in exploring this more. Then comes along the crasher doxie contest over at Who's Your Dachshund. The chance to win who knows what and ignore all the stuff I really should be doing? I'm totally there.

So a gajillion cropping clicks later, I give you the images I just submitted to the contest. The following image is a Norman Rockwell painting. Talk about your crashers. I like how Baxter's the only one at the table paying attention to that fine, fine, superfine turkey.



The next image is an iconic snap from Kennedy's Camelot years. I felt sorta bad blacking out little John John, but I suppose it ain't art without a little suffering, right? Anyway, hopefully this inspires you to suffer just a little, too, and have fun submitting your photo to the crasher doxie contest over at Who's Your Dachshund! Hurry, the deadline is August 30th.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

my new toyfriend: ropey ramjet

dear diary,
guess what! mom took me for a ride the other day and wouldn't ya know after drivin around we stopped by the pet store! but that's not all, she even let me choose a new toy cuz so many of my other toyfriends are in my toy drawer needing to be fixed. i'm not sure why she thinks they need fixin though cause I was finally gettin em the way i like em, with all their tiny parts nibbled off and the squeaker barely squeaking. but that's okay, at least now i have my new friend ropey ramjet. i wonder if the pupperazzi are gonna say i'm cheatin on duk duk again. do you think i should hold another press conference? hmm, i think i will have to chew on it.

toodles!
b.

Friday, August 21, 2009

bad hair day: yo adrian

Baxter Balboa, photographed here just minutes after losing the chase with Apollo D. Bunny, has just announced that he will take time off from the backyard to reassess his hunting strategies and spend more time with his girlfriend, Adrian. "I lost fair and square, but that doesn't mean I will lose again. I can do this one, two, three, four, what maybe six more times? Yeah, I'm Baxter Balboa and I will hunt again. You can count on it."

Critics of Balboa note that his weakness for dinosaur bones may put the chaser at a disadvantage the next time Balboa enters the yard. "I pity da fool that thinks he's gonna win anything after eatin one of those things," said Mr. B, the gilded mohawked rabbit also known as Thumper Bang. "I pity da fool if he thinks he's gonna win chasing me." Balboa could not be reached for further comment and was last seen with his manager Duk Duk, pedaling away in a rusty aqua convertible.



editor's note: no actual bunnies or dachshunds were physically hurt for this story. certain egos, however, may have been a bit bruised upon this story's publication.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

static cling

Baxter's most relaxed days are the ones he that knows are going to quite predictable. When the world behaves as he expects it, he is an independent little kielbasa who is free to follow the sun throughout the day, roasting himself a nice shade of brown all while mom and dad do their thing. When Baxter's day is predictable, he is content and free to go about his daily business, secure in the knowledge that his home and the people inside it are ok.

As I awoke early to the torment of a mosquito buzzing about my head, Baxter must have decided that today would not be one of those normal days. Most times when his beauty sleep has been cut short, he'll trundle off to his pillow by the foot of our bed and sleep some more, holding on to the hope that things will get back to normal, all while I work on de-hagging myself for the day. But there he was, wrapped around my feet like a cuddly warm blanket, a serious case of static cling for a little dachshund. Some days, I suppose, even happy pups need a little extra lovin.

Somebody please call the office and let them know I can't come in today...

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

and this little piggy went....

"whee! whee! whee!" all the way home...



I like how focused Baxter looks to the task at hand in this picture. And yes, the rusty car came home with us after all... Now if only Baxter's legs were long enough to pedal himself, he could chase those backyard bunnies in style...

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

this little piggy found something cool

It's me, Baxter again, with part three of my roving rover reporter report. Today it's all about stuff! My mom and I never know what we are going to find at the flea market, but she says we can always count on finding interesting people and interesting things. I can't really say too much about the things cuz a lot of the stuff are way up high on tables where I can't get to it. Stuff like old glassware and costume jewelry and rusty tools and books. But there are people that have so much stuff that they have to put some on the ground where even I can check out and give my mom feedback. As you can see I wasn't too jazzed about what I was seeing at my level that day, but most of the stuff is for humans anyway. This is me being a good boy and just waiting with my dad while my mom shopped. (My mom says dad was being a good boy, too.)



There's always somebody selling fruits and vegetables. They even had giant boxes of ripe bananas for a dollar. If it were cooler out my mom woulda bought it and made tons of banana bread, but cause it's summer she didn't wanna heat up the kitchen with all that baking. This is me with the watermelon mom bought for two bucks.




So that wraps up my roving rover report. We're just gonna walk back now to where we parked. I really appreciate you taking the time to follow me on this journey through the flea market. Like I was sayin most of the stuff here is for humans so I didn't really buy anything but I still had a good...



whoa, CHECK this out! I didn't even know they made cars my size. Suh-WEET ride.



Oh PLEEEEEZE can I drive it?? PULEEEEEEEEEEZE?



to be continued....

Monday, August 17, 2009

this little piggy played with puppies

Baxter again with your roving rover reporter news here at the flea market, where today's story is all about the dogs. You see, despite being called the flea market, there aren't really fleas here so it's totally fun to bring dogs here so long as they're on a leash and the weather is nice. I've barked at and met all sorts of dogs here. There was a vendor here that used to bring her dog with her, and he gave me the willies every time I saw him. Mom thinks he was an Australian Cattle Herder. All I know is, that dog could spot me from a mile away and then he'd sorta crouch down and just give me the evil eye the whole time I walked by. Me no likey dat, let me tell you. I'm glad he wasn't there the day I visited.

Almost every time I go to the market I run into another dachshund, and we spend a whole thirty seconds smelling each other before we get back to ignoring each other in search of something we can snarf off the ground. This time I saw a nice little red mini that had a big white patch on his neck but his human walked him away before I could say hi.

Now normally I'm kinda suspicious of dogs that are bigger than me, but once I smelled this guy here I knew he was safe for playin with because he was a puppy. We scampered around a couple of times and then I got jealous that he found a feather on the ground and wouldn't share it. Then by the time he lost interest and wanted to play again, it was time for him to leave. Bummer, cuz I was just starting to enjoy myself! His human said he was part Great White Pyrenees so mom said the next time I saw him I probably wouldn't recognize him because he would be really big.



Mom says tomorrow I have to write about the actual stuff we saw at the flea market so I guess I'll see you then.

Toodles!
B.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

this little piggy shook hands



Hey, it's me, Baxter, your roving rover reporter here, reporting today about my trip to the flea market. I love all the smells here. Today I want to tell you about the people I sniffed.










Just an important reminder before we start, boys and girls. There are plenty of things to see and do here but as a little dog it's important to stick close to your mom and dad and watch where you're going so nobody steps on your paws cause this place can get kinda busy. I'm a pro at barking, so don't worry about me.






All sorts of people seem to want to come up to me and pet me when I'm at the market. Sometimes they tell my mom they had a dog just like me when they were little, and sometimes they just want to ask what it's been like owning a wiener dog because they were thinking of getting one, too. Me, I like the ones that ask before they try n pet me cause some of the littler kids move so quick they scare me. This kid was cool. He never got around to petting me, but I wish he did because he smelled like hot dogs and I betcha he tasted like it, too.




This next little dude came up to me later on and at first he was afraid to pet me. I don't blame him cause I wasn't that excited about it either. But then my mom put a snack in his hand and everything got better so I shook his hand AND his mom's hand. I liked him. He kinda smelled like milk n Cheerios.




I think I would have liked smellin this next little fella but he never did end up coming up close enough for me to know. I was kinda disappointed cause by then I figured out the whole shake hands for a snack thing and was goin up to practically everybody to say hi. I like his pull toy. It was almost as long as me.





Well that's my report for today cause mom says I need to take a nap before we walk to the park this evening. The park! Yippee! Come back tomorrow I'll tell you more about my market visit.

Toodles!!
B.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

this little piggy went to market

Baxter's love for the flea market was a shaky affair at best when we first started taking him. Scary big dogs that tracked his every move and people coming out of nowhere to pet him, stinky half-stomped cigarette butts from smokers who prefer their experience en plein air. But all that soon changed when he realized what a magical place this was. The smell of hot dogs and pizza in the air, an occasional popcorn on the ground that he could secretly snitch when mom and dad were busy talking with vendors, all the new friends he would meet and the treats he would get from them if he shook their hand. Even an occasional dachshund to exchange butt sniffs with. The flea market holds boundless opportunity for this little wiener dog, and today he loved every minute of his visit, almost as much as everybody loved him.





tomorrow's post: the Baxter report on cool stuff he sniffed at the market (hint: they're not all butts!)

snoozy boy




The excitement in Baxter's life has a way of flowing in ebbs and tides. This past week, his life was all about tides:

Bark-o-tunities with the UPS guy: 3
Snacks from new friends: 2
Rabbits sighted: 5
Visits with dinosaur bone: 4
Barking dreams: 6
Doxie butts sniffed (excluding his own): 3


A busy life for a little wiener dog.

Friday, August 14, 2009

the tiny butterflies of mossville









lepidoxerology: the study of rare and tiny butterfly-like creatures found mainly hovering around mossy patches, whose bodies bear striking resemblance to the dachshund.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

i poochliacci















barking and wagging,
doesn't matter what i wear,
i want rawhide now.


- baxter, 2.7 years old





It's the return of the haikus! C'mon, it's easy and fun and you know you need a break else you wouldn't be here. Nobody will get judgy cause we all love our wienuhs. 5 syllables, 7 syllables, then 5 again. But close works, or not even close at all. Just have fun cause that's what it's all about. Share the love & post 'em now.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

me likey dat: thirty-five buck chuck

With their intricate handwoven patterns and wonderfully rich colors, Persian carpets have been a recent fascination for me. I used to think they were too busy, too fragile, too expensive to have in a house with doxies that might mistake them as chew toys or use them as wee wee pads. Now I can't believe our house has been almost twenty years without them.

For me, the trick in striking the right balance between doxie and rug lies with standards, or having a lack thereof. Fine examples of persian rugs are great for museums, but not for houses where tiny chupacabras under cover of night can chomp a hole in a rug just as easily as they can a hole in their toyfriends. Once I figured out that life is more interesting when it ain't perfect and started loving all the unique flaws that life has to offer, an ebay world of inexpensive, maybe mis-identified and definitely un-collector worthy cool rugs opened up to warm our home.

That's how Thirty-Five Buck Chuck ended up at our doorstep yesterday evening, delivered by Mr UPS amidst a chorus of barking that is Baxter the doorbell. The rug arrived tightly wrapped in a plastic bag and Baxter's nose started sniffing furiously as the smell of wool escaped with each cut of my scissors. By the time Chuck was rolled out for better viewing, our little kielbasa had claimed first rights to enjoyment and immediately started digging into the rug, deeply inhaling the smells of a faraway land, and rolling to acquire these newfound scents. I am always amazed at how wonderful Baxter looks on the things we choose for our home, and Baxter stretched out on Chuck, almost in recognition of that very notion.

Having gotten the full Baxter seal of approval, the rug will stay. I have no idea where we will put Chuck, but Baxter thinks it'll do nicely right where it is, in the middle of the floor, another fifteen square feet of space that he can call his own.



Tuesday, August 11, 2009

red & rover


Rarely would I ever post twice in a day, but I ran across this in the paper today and just had to share. Click here for a little bit of fun that would pretty much sum up Baxter's day today, were he not sunbathing in air conditioned comfort! Happy Tuesday!!

Operation Dinosaur Bone: Mission Accomplished!

dear diary,
so i was doin all that worryin for nuttin cause guess what i got for my evening snack - you guessed it, i got my bone back! i guess i'm okay with mom taking it back and not lettin me eat it all at once cuz i sure would hate gettin the stinky bottoms again - not that i know for sure that my bone causes it, but mom says even though i now eat plenty of fiber, we're better off safe than sorry. this time i most definitely agree. whoo, that gives me chills just thinkin about what people were doin back there!

well gotta get back to bed before they miss me.
toodles!
b.



Monday, August 10, 2009

Operation Dinosaur Bone



dear diary,
yesterday i had a grand ol time gnawing on a giant rawhide bone that mom gave me for being good all week long. it was so big, i was sure it came from a dinosaur! at first i didn't know what to do with it cause it was so big, but once i found a quiet space under the coffee table, i settled down and started gnawing away. you can imagine my disappointment when mom came back like half an hour later to put my bone away. i barely finished half of one of the knots! she said i might get sick if i ate too much in one day and that she would keep the bone safe in the laundry room until i could have it again later this week. later? like WHEN is that??? do i even know how to tell time???

then this morning i got all excited cause I thought she was going to give it to me when she came out of the laundry room but all she had was my morning snack. i tried to show her my disappointment by snubbing it. i even spat out the piece of kibble she put into my mouth. but it turns out my tummy wasn't very happy with that decision and so a couple of minutes later i snuck back to the pile of food and ate it. duk duk laughed at me because he said the whole thing made me look like a maroon. i really need to come up with something better cause i don't think i'm gonna be able to hypnotize her again. duk duk thinks i should spring this new look on her that i've been workin on. do you like it? i try to make my body look as tiny as possible and then i do this shivering like i've been starving out in the cold. i know, it's summer and like a hundred degrees out, so i'm not sure if it's gonna work or not. if you got any ideas on how i can get at that bone, please let me know.

toodles,
b.

Friday, August 7, 2009

friday's dachshund is bold and daring

Having owned three dachshunds by the time Baxter came into our lives, we thought we were prepared for the challenges Baxter would present. This time, this dog, we vowed not to fall victim to every dachshund's spell of enchantment, the clever ability of a wiener dog to cloak his naughtiness in a cloud of cuteness. We would be firm yet loving, gentle yet encouraging. We would provide rules and leadership, yet give him the freedom to learn about the world around him, one sniff, one lick, one bark at a time.

Preparing for Baxter's life at our home was pretty simple. A thorough cleaning of those things Baxter would inherit from his granduncles. A new bed, a new leash, a new bowl. A snoozer to make his travels in the car with us a peaceful joy. Food, carefully picked to ensure his digestive health. Wee wee pads, til dog and humans alike figured out what their routine would be.

The one thing we hadn't much thought about became clear the minute we took him out into our backyard wonderland. With two senior dogs who were blind and barely mobile as Baxter's predecessors, it didn't matter that snake obscuring leaves had piled up along the perimeter of our fence, didn't matter that the some of lattice work on our deck had come loose and fallen into the creepy spider filled under zone. But these were all things that now piqued the interest of this young dog, ready to explore his new back yard.

Raking was easy, but neither I nor dad wanted much to mess with the lattice work that we knew was necessary to keep wandering noses out of where thought they shouldn't be. Not only was it creepy and spider filled, but the area that needed fixing by the deck stairs was a tight fit for humans that would make rehammering the panels a contortionist's nightmare. Setting back the women's movement a hundred years was a price I was willing to pay, and thus a few feeble excuses later, there dad was, Yosemite Sam swearing in frickum frackum rackum sackum style, hammering splintery brittle weathered lattice work back into place.

In the first few months of Baxter's life with us, the rabbits in our backyard hadn't quite gotten the clue that a new dog was in town. They had become accustomed to peacefully grazing while we took Kep and Padua out back to do their duties, loved to stretch out in the dark coolness of the deck underzone on hot summer days. Before the lattice work had completely fallen, we could tell the rabbits made themselves a permanent hangout because they had enlarged a hole in one of the lattice openings. A hole big enough for a rabbit and not much else, a hole by the stairwell, in the piece of latticework that dad had just barely put back up.

The complacency of our backyard rabbits meant Baxter was almost certain to flush a bunny out in his early hunts, and the day that dad fixed the latticework was no exception. Baxter flushed his quarry from the azaleas and trailed the rabbit, yip yip yipping, little legs furiously trying to keep up with this thing that most certainly was awakening the sleeping giant that is his inner dachshund.

Baxter and the bunny must have done a couple of figure eights around the yard before the rabbit decided an alternate course of action was required. The rabbit took a chance and bolted into the lattice hole, hoping to escape this barking menace. Surely, we figured, Baxter would stop at the lattice barrier and the chase would end. But without even a moment's pause, Baxter barged right in, crashing through the repaired lattice work like a football team breaking through a banner when it comes onto the field. Twenty minutes of hammering, twenty minutes of cartoon swearing, gone in an instant.

The remains of the lattice work trailed out from under the deck like little dust clouds as Baxter and the rabbit made their way back out into the yard. The chase finally did end after a gap in the fence allowed the rabbit its proper escape. Baxter, happily panting, trotted back to us with tail pointed high and bobbing proudly in the air, no worse for wear and exhilarated by what had just taken place. There would be no turning back, we realized, for this pup who now discovered his life's calling. Rabbits beware, our little kielbasa may be a gentle soul, but he is and always will be a dachshund, spunky at heart, bold and daring.


Thursday, August 6, 2009

thursday's dachshund hides down under

dear diary,
sometimes mom and dad have to leave me at home alone while they run errands cuz they say it's too hot for me to stay in the car. even though it means i get a peanut buttered kong toy, i don't care for being left at home because it means i have to stay in the bedroom in my kennel. it's just not fair! sometimes when i'm wise to what's about to happen, i like to find a dark and quiet place to hide. don't tell mom or dad, but here are some of my favorite places to disappear!

toodles!
b.


Wednesday, August 5, 2009

wednesday's dachshund is full of wonder

I've sometimes wondered what it would be like if Baxter could talk. What would he sound like? What would he say? It's not like he can't already tell us what he's thinking. "Rowh, rowh!," he sometimes barks when we're training, roughly translates into "do I really have to work for this? be a pal and just give me the food already!" Multiple barks in a row, so fast they're strung together like a rapid fire machine gun scream, "Red alert! All hands on deck and prepare battlestations!" A less than energetic "mwoof" does double duty, telling us that Baxter has heard something at a far off distance, but that it's so far off he's just gonna stay the course and continue tanning his tummy, sleeping lazily in the sun.

Baxter's ways of communicating with the world aren't solely confined to the bark. Trying to stay still so as to not give away his presence, his whole body micro-quivers with utter excitement when he spies a rabbit just outside his window. If he raises his left front paw after spying a rabbit on a walk, know that hunt is on and rabbit chase is imminent. Though he rarely gets the results he likes with it, a ridge of hackles tells the world that he is one tough doggie meant to be reckoned with. Ears pricked and tail wagging? Baxter is intrigued by whatever it is that has his attention, whether a tiny bug crossing the windowsill or the alluring scent of squirrel in the air.

It's easy to think we have our little kielbasa all figured out, but it seems there's still a world of wonder behind those bright brown eyes. For a young dog, so innocent and happy, life is still a mystery that unfolds each day in ways yet unimaginable. What next will I find in my backyard? What tasty treats do I have yet to taste? Whose laps will I sleep in today? I don't know what Baxter would actually talk about if given the opportunity, but I am certain he would end each day with a contented sigh, and thank the world for having given him such a wonderful day.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

tuesday's dachshund loves to run

Even in back his jiggly puff days, Baxter had and still has the need for speed. When he runs, all four legs furiously a blur, it's hard to remember that he's also the sleepy sun bake-a-holic that can barely be roused for his midday meal. When he runs, he is a rocket and nothing can stop him, not even his own legs.

Baxter's rockets betrayed him only once, during a game of chase at the dog park one fateful fall day last year. Full of confidence and loving his bigger than everybody else in the little dog park status, Baxter started a game of chase with his new buddy Murky the Yorkie. Soon, the duo were tearing around at maximum speed with Baxter in the lead and Murky a distant second. Baxter turned his head to see what was going on behind him when SMACK!! He collided into Murky's owner's legs and caused a doggie pileup. Baxter. Murky. Derailed doggies. From Baxter's perspective, he never saw the human legs, never knew that they were the reason he stopped so suddenly. With his head turned, he only saw Murky coming at him, full force, and piling right into him and packing a wallop.

Baxter ran to us almost instantaneously, tail between his legs, aroo-aroo-arooing all the way. Our rest of the time at the park that day was spent with a humbled Baxter very much underfoot, fearful of tiny Murky, the dog that now he most certainly felt was the mightiest dog on earth.

It took a couple of subsequent visits before Baxter forgot about the Mighty Murky and put the rocket boosters back on again. Nowadays his rockets propel him in his never ending quest for rabbits and squirrels, or for being chased by confirmed puppies who aren't mighty dogs in disguise. He runs when he is called by any one of his numerous names, coming to a screeching halt just barely in time before he hits into whatever is nearby. Sometimes, late in the evening, he'll get a twinkle in his eye and a toy in his mouth, and tear around the house, as if to remind us that life's too short to be wasting it glued to the television. We do our best to keep our little rocket in check, carrying him up and down stairs, discouraging him from running on slippery hard floors, but he is Tuesday's Dachshund, and tuesday's dachshund loves to run.

Monday, August 3, 2009

monday's dachshund is full of fun






With his pack all back together, Baxter is lovin life. Plus the sun came out today. Hooray!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

yippee and skippee!


dear diary,
yippee! dad comes home today. i learned a couple of new tricks while he was gone so i can't wait to show him! this is my new trick "hold it" where mom puts food on my head and i have to hold it til she says it's okay. it's still kinda a work in progress but i think i'm doing pretty good. duk duk thought i was crazy for doing it, but he just doesn't understand that i have tons of fun doin stuff for food. you would think he knows by now. but he has been in the drawer lately.

training with mom has been especially fun because we haven't been able to go for a walk as much lately in the evenings like we usually do. like every time we're ready to go the sky gets dark and makes noise, and the next thing you know it's raining water out there. i say water because mom said it was raining cats and dogs and imagine my disappointment that there were neither cats nor dogs out there. i'm beginning to wonder about mom, cause she also said because of all the rain there was a fun guy out back. so i'm out there lookin to play with him and all i see are these white things and i don't even wanna eat them. fun guy my tail. i wonder what she's been smokin lately. maybe the rain is getting to her, too.



well that is all for now. tomorrow it is supposed to rain. i hope it gets sunny again soon else i'm gonna lose my tummy tan.

toodles!
b.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

a rose by any other name

It is amazing that Baxter comes to us at all when we call him, considering all the nicknames we have for him. Baby dog, sweetie, cutie, pumpkin, beex, beexstuh, henry, george, semi-Frodo, little boy, schlomo schneebly, home slice, homie, microdot, munchkin, tiny tim, wienuh, itta bena. All just to name a few.

In thinking about this list I realized there is one affectionate nickname we haven't called Baxter lately, Chub Chub. He was at his heaviest when I first met him, only recently deposited in his new foster home. I mentioned in an earlier post that Chubby Baxter weighed in at 22 pounds, or four pounds over his ideal weight. When he came to his foster mom's door to greet me, it was as though his barks arrived first and his jiggly wiggly body caught up from behind in sinusoidal fashion, wave after wave of chub piling up upon each other as he carefully ran/skipped so as to not be thrown off balance by the opposing forces created by his jiggling. Back then, watching him run what we now affectionately call his fat dog run was like watching a bridge during an earthquake.

We were still fresh from grieving at the loss of our prior two boys, Kep and Padua, when we came across the opportunity to adopt Baxter. We weren't sure if the timing was right. We weren't sure if we were betraying the memory of our boys for whom we had loved and taken care of for sixteen years. But there Baxter was, barking at my feet, jiggling all the while and following his host dog's lead to treat me with suspicion.

After giving out a handful of treats, we made our way to the sofa. More treats gave way to a truce, and finally, I was able to pick up this prospective pup, this big bowl of warm jelly, and put him in my lap. Though his body spilled out and over my lap, his settled silence made it clear this lap was fine and he quietly waited for more treats with his now characteristic bright eyed stare. A polite and gentle boy, Baxter was a innocent soul willing to put his trust in me if I would only accept it. Our little Chub Chub came home with us for good two weeks after that visit, in mid-November.

Weight loss for Baxter came fairly simply, really. It should be so simple for humans. We fed him the kibble amount corresponding to his target weight, and as an added bonus walked him twice daily. Treats like rawhide were worked into the plan, but we tried to be mindful of how this affected his overall calorie intake and adjusted his meals accordingly. By spring, he was well on his way to ideal weight. By early summer, thanks to an unfortunate bout with hemorrhagic gastroenteritis, he briefly dipped below it.

Sometimes when I whistle for him now, Baxter will still run up with his fat dog gait, only now there are no seismic bodily disturbances to interrupt his travels, no worries about his caboose having to catch up with the rest of him. Looking back I now realize his early nickname of Chub Chub encapsulated more than just his physical presence, it memorialized who he still is today. A gentle soul, an innocent and trusting friend. Baxter may now be a lot skinnier, but he will always be Chub Chub.



Friday, July 31, 2009

bad hair days

While the air clears from yesterday's solar flares, click on this gallery of Baxter's photographic bloopers to see them in their full glory. Rest assured even dachshunds have their bad hair days!

Have a great weekend!!!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

thursday's forecast: solar flares

Since coming to our house over a year and a half ago, Baxter has become the sun around which his humans orbit. His rays of boundless joy and innocence warm our heart and enrich our souls. He is the light at the end of an awful work day.

Our orbits around this little red dwarf are sometimes literal, as we carefully walk around him when he's chosen to sleep in a sliver of sun that's smack dab in the middle of a busy pathway. Sometimes, after he's made his way into our bed at night, we are awakened by this little sun, his paws pushing on us in an attempt to make more space for himself in the center of our bed. Even suns, it seems, need their beauty sleep.

Today as I write this entry with Baxter nearby, it seems our little sun is experiencing another type of solar effect. Tiny toots provide chorus to the music playing gently in the background. Pfft. Pffffooooo. Squeak. Pfeep. Bup-bup-bup. Pfweeeeeee. Solar flares of a different kind. Our tiny red dwarf, a gaseous giant in disguise.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Adventures in Felting (PG-13)

My wonderful hubby/Baxter's dad is out of town to visit family. With dad gone, our schedules are all out of whack. Dishes pile up in the sink, dinner is whenever, Baxter and I sleep in, and I am adrift in a timeless sea of crafting opportunity.

Yesterday, as I bounced from one project to another, I took some time to work on making felted pincushions for an upcoming show. Fluff and wet the wool roving, soap up the hands, and roll roll roll. Rinse and repeat. Repeat and repeat, forever plus some for good measure til you get a firm ball.

The beauty of felting is you can use whatever color you want on the inside and conserve the good colors for the last one or two layers. Though sherberty colored on the outside, these cores would all be brown. I had completed one pincushion and started the cores for two others by the time my pruny hands told me they had enough. Washing the soap off my hands, I left my project on the counter to dry and looked down at Baxter, all curled in his little kitchen bed. My eyes moved back to the two brown cores sitting side by side, walnut sized balls, all fuzzy and the exact same color as his fur.

It's not exactly fair to say my mind started wandering. It knew exactly where it wanted to go.

According to his adoption papers, Baxter was fixed at an age earlier than most dogs. Though he walks with an ever so slight bow in his hind legs, I doubt this is the same effect as some say they feel when they've lost an arm and still perceive sensation of it. Thanks to an early neutering, Baxter probably never had an ounce of testosterone flow through his body, never had a reason to walk widely to accommodate the family jewels.

And yet when presented with the pair of brown wooly orbs, Baxter seemingly sniffed at them with a mix of wistfulness and faint recognition of the rewards that wearing them might garner - finally, glowing admiration from nattily groomed Poodles and Schnauzers alike, awe and respect from the Labs and Boxers at the big dog park.



With men still here to fix the leak in our roof, Baxter's interest quickly waned and he trundled off to match the noise they were making with barks of equal intensity. But it got me to thinking that there could be a market for these things, these faux family jewels. At this year's halloween party, save your dachshund the embarrassment of showing up in the same hot dog costume as everyone else. Save yourself the time of whipping up something elaborate that he'll only wear for two seconds. Get back to nature. Restore his pride. Let him be all that he can be. Dress him up as The Unneutered Dachshund.

a backstory surprise

Now, many moons ago I heard of a product for dogs but didn't have the opportunity to look them up til I started thinking about today's post. Yes, it's out there folks, available for surgical implantation by your vet to help your neutered male dog feel whole again. Neuticles. Scroll down to the very bottom of this otherwise clinical website and there you'll find your next chuckle of the day. Ya gotta love the testimonial from tiny Bruno the Dachshund and his happy dad. Go Bruno!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

stuff: happy dog doormat





Lovin the new doormat I scored yesterday at Pier One. It's so happy!!